


You Belong To Me

by KofiLife



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, F/F, F/M, Humor, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:03:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 49,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27128971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KofiLife/pseuds/KofiLife
Summary: Clarke gets sent down to Earth by herself to start with. Others follow but will the peace be kept? Especially when Lexa makes a deal that Clarke doesn't like.(I realize that this description makes it sound like something it isn't. The deal isn't sexual...But I may have something like that in the works)
Relationships: Clarke Griffin & Lexa, Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Finn Collins/Raven Reyes
Comments: 91
Kudos: 809





	1. Where It Began

**1\. Where It Began**

As soon as she opened her eyes she immediately regretted it. The brightness almost blinding.

It was something she'd never thought about. Brightness. That the Earth might be bright, brighter than anything she'd ever seen up in the stars where she didn't belong.

And she really didn't. Belong. She didn't _belong_ anywhere. Never had.

White-hot pain shoots through her when she moves. Every limb feeling like it's on fire. She's felt pain like this before, that all consuming, thought stopping pain that comes from the electric shocks on the Ark. The kind that makes the tips of her fingers tingle, the kind that makes her bite her tongue. She welcomes the pain, it's familiar. She never could behave herself for quite long enough not to receive those shocks.

She shifts again, turning onto her back, her eyes flickering open slightly and taking a long moment to focus.

She sees trees. Actual leafy, green trees. Branches and branched of trees. And sky. A blue she'd never seen before. Stretching forever with fluffy, white clouds.

She needed to get up but she let herself indulge in this luxury for a long moment.

She saw her pod once she'd turned her head. Crash landing, she noted. She must've been flung from the ship when it hit the rocks. For a moment she felt lucky. Lucky to actually be alive in this moment but then she remembered everything.

Her Father getting floated. Getting arrested. The long year she'd spend locked up. The pain in her stomach when they hadn't fed her in three days – prisoners not exactly being the priority for rations. The brutality involved with being a prisoner. The endless days she spent alone until finally she was allowed time with the other prisoners. The other prisoners... _Finn_. Finn revealing it'd been Abby that sold her Dad out. Her own Mother the reason for her Father being dead. Finn doing _what he did._ And of course the reason she was even here.

She wasn't lucky. She was _expendable_.

Her own Mother had said it.

“ _They're sending you to the ground, Clarke. They chose someone expendable to see if it's survivable.”_

Her. _She_ was that someone.

She looked at her wrist. Her wrist monitor was still intact. The Ark, _her Mom_ , knew she'd survived the crash landing.

She needed to get to the remains of the ship. She needed to see if her supplies and radio were intact or not.

She rolled onto her belly, shifting all of her muscles to try to feel where she was hurt. Her ribs. Possibly broken, definitely bruised. Her wrists and shoulders hurt, probably from impact but they'd get better soon.

She felt dizzy after pulling herself up and it was then that she noticed the wetness on the side of her face. She wiped her hand across, smearing blood across her face in the process, her fingers coming away bloody. She'd keep an eye on signs of a concussion but for now she was relatively okay.

She found herself balancing precariously on the rocks she'd climbed to get to the ship. The radio was easy to reach but definitely broken. It was more difficult to get to the backpack that had been stashed under her seat during the journey but it was her priority. She needed the supplies if she was going to stay alive.

She reached out a little more, misjudging her balance and only just managing to snag the backpacks handle before she fell from the height onto her back, winding herself. The radio and backpack hitting her on the way down.

“Great,” She gasped, finding her voice raw as she gulped air to get her breath back.

She didn't hang around for longer than she had to. She shoved the broken radio into the backpack and headed out.

Safer to be away from the ship. She thought.

So she walked. And walked. And she walked.

She walked through the forest, taking in every detail her eyes could as she passed it. It really was beautiful.

Thinking back to her grey cell on the Ark she felt a little happier about her current situation. Either way she was probably going to die because she's _expendable_ but at least here she had a much, much better view.

She had a sinking feeling when the sun started it's decent.

She'd heard running water and followed it to a waterfall. She supposed it was as good a place as any to set up because there was already somewhere to clean up and get water from. So she'd stripped off her sweaty, dirty clothes and waded into the water without a second thought. Enjoying the weightless feeling of her body in the water and finally cleaning up.

The sinking feeling in her gut came later.

When she'd used the knowledge her Father had given her and the matches she found in the bottom of her supply pack her to make a fire. When she'd sat in her underwear next to it to dry off and broke a protein bar in half – half for dinner, half for breakfast, she'd decided – and that sinking feeling settled.

Loneliness wasn't new to her. At this point it was an old friend that wrapped her in it's arms and seldom left. But now she was truly alone. And that scared her.

She hadn't thought about it before now, scared was a feeling she probably couldn't afford. But now, here, in this foreign place, with no way to talk to her people, with her arms tightly wrapped round her knees and tears tumbling down her cheeks, she was absolutely terrified.

“What now?” She whispered to herself.

\- - - - - - - - - -

She woke up with a start.

The fire in front of her was embers now, providing her no light whatsoever. The last thing she remembered was collapsing on her side in sobs, she must've cried herself to sleep. And now, in her underwear and with her hair still slightly damp, she was absolutely regretting it.

She sat up, her eyes dancing around her surroundings, looking for whatever woke her up but she saw nothing but darkness.

That's when she felt something, _someone_ , grabbing her from behind. She screamed but a hand covered her mouth, silencing her. She felt her wrists being roped behind her back. Then materiel, a bag, was over her head.

She was shaking furiously. Even more terrified than before. Before she was just alone, she could deal with alone but now. Now someone was with her, someone she didn't know, someone who could do absolutely anything to her without her being able to stop them.

When the cloud of fear finally dissipated slightly she realized her body was being pushed forwards by hands on her back, her legs moving without her noticing. Her muscles ached, her feet were sore and the sides of her legs hurt from where the thick foliage was repeatedly brushing against against her naked skin.

She wondered where she was being taken, _why_ she was being taken, what they wanted from her and perhaps a little juvenile of her but was she going to die in her underwear?

She focused on what she could feel and hear since her sight was compromised. She could only really hear the pounding of her heart but she couldn't feel the foliage against her legs and feet anymore, just soil on her toes. Wherever they were, it was some sort of clearing.

The suddenness of her knees hitting the floor made her grunt. The force behind the push to her shoulders making her land heavily. And then her hood was yanked off.

Her eyes searched around quickly, getting use to the light so she could focus on what she was seeing. They must've walked for a long time, it was light now. The kind of lightness that you could only associate with the daytime. She was in some sort of tent. Ahead of her an empty chair, thrown, if she went by the intricate woven branches that formed the back of it. To her left a large table full of parchment and to her right material hanging from the ceiling, concealing the rest of the tent from her eyes and not much else.

She'd almost forgotten that she was no longer alone but then a face was in front of hers.

A girl. A woman. Maybe a little older than herself. Her brown eyes sharp and unkind, the snarl on her face laminating her high, angled cheekbones. Her face decorated in white and black paint, stretching back towards her dark hair that fell into blonde by the ends. A girl that looked absolutely terrifying. Especially with the large hunting knife the girl was pointing towards her.

“Chon yu bilaik, natrona?” _Who are you, traitor?_ The girl growled, “Laik yu loufa?” _Are you a spy?_

Either Clarke had more of a concussion than she thought or this girl wasn't speaking English. She listened desperately, trying her best to focus on the words rather than the knife that was a few inches from her neck. Trying to decipher just a word or two, _something_ she could cling onto and use to negotiate.

“Spik op.” _Speak up_.

Clarke's mouth fell open, she had no idea what was happening but she had to at least _try_ not to be killed. She swallowed her nerves.

“Hi,” Her voice came out only slightly above a whisper, she pushed on, “I-I don't, I don't understand your language. I...” _I'm Clarke._

The girls eyes narrowing caught the words before they fell. She was gazed on for a long moment before the bag was over her head again.

 _Well fuck_. Now what?

Her knees hurt where they were sinking into the ground. She heard footsteps and voices. More voices. All using the same language as her captor. Clarke wished she understood.

This time, when the bag was wrenched from her head, the thrown wasn't empty. This time it was housing a girl, a different girl from before. This one was younger, her rich, brown hair pulled out of her face and back into intricate braids, her sharp, green eyes – eyes that were drinking in Clarke's body hungrily, reminding Clarke about her state of undress - surrounded by black paint. Half her face was covered in it. The blackness sliding down her face like tears. Clarke gulped. This girl was even more terrifying and this girl had more weapons. A sword at her hip. A dagger on her thigh and another in her hands, being played with.

“Chit don yu gad gon ai, Onya?” _What have you got for me?_ The brunette spoke, eyes fixing behind Clarke's head.

Clarke was suddenly aware of her captor, the blonde girl who was standing behind her.

“Ai don hon em op em tri,” _I found her in the trees._ The girl – Onya, Clarke thinks - spoke from behind her, “Em chich Gonasleng, Heda.” _She speaks English, Commander.”_

The brunette on the thrown looked at her again, her eyes travelling Clarke as if she were a dessert.

“Em pri, no?” _She's pretty, no?_ Clarke felt fingertips on her neck, travelling down and trailing over the flesh that was spilling out of her bra, “Emo laik kom yu teis?” _These are to your taste?_

Green eyes snapped back to _Onya_ and a shiver went through Clarke's body, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. She didn't like to be touched, not like _that,_ not since... _since_. But the fingers dipped below the cup of her bra and the green eyes fixed on them.

“Sha,” _Yes._ The brunette spoke, her voice harsh, her eyes watching Clarke try to squirm away, “Ba nou toch op. Prom em.” _But don't touch. Question her._

And the fingers left her, much to Clarke's relief. But only for a second as her captor rounded from behind her, still with the large knife in her hand.

“Who are you?”

Clarke's eyes went wide, searching her captors face. Her mouth opening and closing in shock.

“You speak English? Who are you? Where am I? Am I going to die? Are you going to-”

“Pleni!” The brunette cut her off, her voice taking a harshness to it before the brunette nodded again to Clarke's captor.

“I wouldn't ramble if I were you, Heda likes direct answers,” She growled, “Where are you from?”

Clarke took a moment to glance between the two women in front of her. She had three options. Say nothing and probably die. Lie and probably die but what would she even say? Or tell the truth and hope for the best. The truth. Definitely the truth, the truth had slightly less death in it.

“My name is Clarke Griffin, yesterday I was sent here from space,” She said slowly, trying to get a read on what affect her words were having but the brunette remained stoic while _Onya_ only showed signs of distrust and annoyance.

“Explain,” _Onya_ growled.

“There's people,” She explained, “Up there, in space, we – _they_ live on the Ark and the oxygen system is failing, the Ark is dying so...so they sent me down here to-to see if the Earth is survivable. They want to come down. They – _I_ had no idea there was people down here, I-I really didn't know.”

“Why _you_?”

“Because I'm expendable,” Clarke's voice lost it's volume, her eyes focusing on the floor. Maybe they had a point, she really was expendable if she'd been here less than twenty four hours and she was already tied up and about to get murdered _in her underwear_ then she probably deserved it.

“Nou kom ai,” _Not to me_. The brunette spoke.

“Kep in em trau, Heda,” _Keep it in your pants, Commander._ The blonde turned back to her, “My name is Anya kom Trikru and this is Heda Lexa kom Trikru, former of the coalition and as long as you're in our lands your Commander. She will decide your fate.”

“My...my _Commander_?” Clarke blinked, eyes flitting between Anya and Lexa.

Anya nodded, “Do you not have a Commander on the Ark?”

“We have a Chancellor, um, Chancellor Jaha and a council but I...I can't talk to them. They know I'm alive but my radio – it broke.”

“How do they know you're alive, Skayon?” Anya's eyes narrowed.

Clarke tried to hold up her wrist monitor, forgetting her hands where tied behind her back and hissed in pain. She hung her head, “My wrist – I...”

“Onya,” Lexa cut Clarke off, green eyes fixing on Clarke's baby blues, “Em's nou hazod. Teik Klark houm kom yu. Shil op em. Dig au hashta em.” _She's no threat. Take Clarke home with you. Protect her. Learn about her._

Anya looked more annoyed after Lexa had spoken but nodded anyway, “Sha, Heda.”

Lexa stood, eyes boring into Clarke's. A terrified shudder ran through the blonde as Lexa confidently strode towards her. Her eyes fell to the floor, this time a tear did fall as her fear grew stronger and Lexa grew closer. Was Lexa going to kill her?

Soft fingers landed on her chin and tipped her head up. Forcing Clarke's eyes to meet Lexa. And Lexa's eyes scanned her face, seemingly taking in every little detail.

“Nou bon au, Klark kom Skaikru,” _Don't cry, Clarke from Sky Crew._ Lexa spoke gently, “Monin kom yu brana houm.” _Welcome to your new home._

And then she was gone, leaving Clarke with Anya. Anya who was cutting the rope from her wrists. Anya who was pulling her up and out of the tent - not very gently, she might add.

“Am I – is she- um...” How does one ask if they're going to get murdered, Clarke wondered, “What is my fate?”

Anya kept tugging her until they reached another tent, this one smaller and she pushed Clarke in, “For tonight you live, Sky Girl.”

“Um...thank you?” Clarke asked. Was she thankful? She didn't know anymore, “Where's my stuff?”

Anya's narrowed eyes met hers, “You want your knife? You won't have access to any weapons here.”

“My clothes,” Clarke said quietly, “I didn't actually know I had a knife, I...I haven't looked through my bag, I just know I have some clothes and some provisions in there.”

“Provisions?” Anya scoffed, arms crossed where she stood between Clarke and the door of the tent, “If you're talking about those provision bars, I ate them and they were disgusting.”

“You...All of them?”

Anya nodded with a shrug, “They tasted like sand.”

“Then why did you eat _all_ of them? They were supposed to be rationed!” Clarke's fingers dug into her hair in exasperation. 

“I was hungry,” Anya supplied helpfully.

“What the hell am I supposed to eat now?” Clarke said, more to herself than to Anya.

“Lexa won't see you go hungry,” She rolled her eyes, grabbing some clothing from the big wooden wardrobe in the corner of the tent and shoving it into Clarke's hands, “She's taken a liking to you, Sky Girl, don't take it for granted.”

“A liking?” Clarke frowned, “What does that mean?”

“I wonder,” Anya's voice dripped with sarcasm as she looked Clarke up and down, “Now put the clothes on and we'll go get something to eat.”

**\- - - - - - - - - -**

As it turned out, Clarke kind of liked Anya. She was unfriendly and she seemed to roll her eyes and huff at everything Clarke said or did but she was also considerate, making sure Clarke's clothes fit her okay and reminding Clarke to only eat a small amount of the food so her stomach didn't reject something new. And she was company, better company than Clarke had had in a very long time. Maybe _ever_.

She learned that they were in a small village full of tents and wooden shacks, a village named Ton DC and that Ton DC was in Tree Crew territory. That she'd landed in Tree Crew territory. She learnt that Lexa was in charge of twelve different clans, all with their own territory, that Lexa had brought them all together by forming a coalition. She learnt about their language, Trigedasleng but that some people also spoke English. She learnt about the love and respect the people had for their leader.

And in turn she'd told Anya everything there was to know about the Ark, how many people there were. Who was in charge. About how they floated people and about her time in prison - leaving out the most cruel or personal stuff, she didn't want Anya's pity. About the technology up there, the farmers, the engineers. She'd told Anya about Jaha's plan. That he planned to send her down here first, to see if the Earth was survivable and if it was then to send an engineer down second if she lost communication. That they'd probably be sending an engineer down within a week, once they'd given her time to die.

Once darkness came Anya showed Clarke back to the smaller tent, explaining that they'd share it for now. Telling her not to wander without Anya by her side. Telling Clarke to get some rest while she went to talk to Lexa.

When Anya returned Clarke was still awake, her mind reeling from such a turn of events today. She sat up from the furs of her make shift bed on the floor.

“Sleep,” Anya ordered, noticing Clarke sitting up as she went for the furs on the other side of the tent.

“What did Heda say?” Clarke asked softly, she knew from the narrowed eyes she'd received the first time she'd addressed Lexa as _Lexa_ to Anya that she was not allowed to use the leaders name.

“She wants to go back to Polis tomorrow, she wants to get an army ready before your engineer turns up in case communications don't go well with your people,” Anya explained.

“An army?” Clarke whispered.

She remembered Anya explaining about Polis to her earlier, the capitol, where Lexa called home. Where Lexa ran the whole coalition from. But an army? Was she going to kill everyone on the Ark? Her Mom? If Lexa was going to kill everyone anyway then why hadn't she killed her?

“Relax,” Anya rolled her eyes, “It's a precaution. Lexa spent years creating the coalition and years to get the peace we have now, she's being careful. Your people might be hostile.”

Clarke swallowed thickly, as much as she wanted to argue the fact was that she didn't know. She'd been locked up for the last year so she had absolutely no idea if her people would be peaceful coming to Earth or not, “You're right.”

“Good, now sleep. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow.”

She laid back down but unlike Anya, who was already snoring, she couldn't sleep.

Her life kept running through her mind. Her Mom, the betrayal. Her Dad, the only person who had ever made her feel like she was worth anything. The other prisoners, her friends. Bellamy and Octavia Blake. Octavia would love it down here, on the ground. Octavia would've done so much better than she is. She wondered if they knew, if anyone had bothered telling them that she's been sent down and if they had been told then did they think she was dead? She thought of cold showers, of hard rods giving her electric shocks. Of Finn but she immediately shut all thoughts of him down. She thought of the color of the sky, how beautiful the forest is. She thought of Anya. She thought of Lexa, those green eyes travelling her body, wanting her.

**\- - - - - - - - - -**

When morning came she was alone again but she could hear the hustle and bustle of the village waking up. She could hear people chatting in their native tongue and she could hear children laughing. It was very different from waking up on the Ark. Up there she was woken up with either silence apart from the background grind of the space station or every fourth day to the guards pulling her out of her cell and stripping her to shove her under the cold spray of a shower without so much as a hello.

She pulled herself up and snuck over to the opening of the tent, sticking her head out to observe what was happening.

Children were playing, chasing each other with sticks and laughing full belly laughs, truly happy. Some of the people were setting up the fire, pouring water into pots to boil and gathering food to cook for the small community. She noticed a bit away from the tents there were people training, training with real swords and they looked about as impressive as they could to Clarke. She felt eyes on her and her eyes fell to Lexa. The green eyed beauty was standing near the fire, making conversation with, who Anya had pointed out to her as, Indra and Lincoln but her eyes where fixed on Clarke.

“Onya,” Lexa called out, her eyes trained on blue, Clarke glanced around but couldn't see the girl in question, “De meizen won ste stomba.” _The beautiful one is awake._

Clarke eyes were locked with Lexa's, she wished she understood anything Lexa was saying but she didn't so she stared and kept staring until something, until _Anya_ blocked her path.

“Rise and shine, Sky Girl,” Anya frowned, “Let's get you fed and ready to travel.”

Clarke nodded, following Anya to the bathhouse so she could use the bathroom and wash her face before they went to the fire at the center of the village. They sat at one of the long wooden benches and ate what they were offered in silence. Lexa was still around, chatting idly to her people but Clarke could feel Lexa's eyes every time they landed on her, which was a lot.

“Do you think Heda will ever let me have my stuff back?” Clarke wondered, quietly.

“Ask her,” Anya grunted, eyes on her food.

“I can't,” Clarke frowned, “I don't speak Trig and she's really scary.”

Anya's narrowed eyes fixed on her.

“You're really scary too,” Clarke concluded and decided to keep her eyes on her own plate of food when Anya's only response was a snarl of a grin.

When Anya had said they were going to Polis she did not mention that they were going by horse back. Clarke had never seen a hose before, surprisingly not many animals were knocking around in space and now that she was up close and personal with one she was kind of terrified. Earth on the whole had been kind of terrifying actually and horses were no different. She tried not to show her nerves and petted the animals neck but she'd ended up on her ass from the fright the animal gave her when it let out a huff, she'd not only showed her fear but given Anya something to laugh about.

Riding a horse was no less terrifying. And although she had absolutely no interest in being this close to Anya, _ever_ , she was glad that she wasn't trying to ride this horse alone. Anya had made getting on a horse look easy and when she'd given Clarke her arms to hold she'd practically thrown Clarke's weight up behind her like Clarke weighed nothing. The movements the horse made as it walked had Clarke clutching Anya for dear life. She made sure to ignore Anay's comment of 'shall we get a room or?'.

And she was still clutching Anya for dead=r life when Lexa, mounted on a white steed had pulled into a walk next to them. Lexa's eyes roamed Clarke before settling on Anya.

“Em's nou a hosa?” _She's not a rider?_ Lexa said, “So em's fikplei the ridiyo.” _So she's telling the truth._

“Dizon'ts bilaik edei, Heda,” _Looks that way, Commander._ Anya replied, “Em'll don a bashfou tush pas disha, mebi yu na tocuh op em beda kos em?” _She'll have a sore ass after this, maybe you can rub it better for her?_

Clarke watched Lexa's lips quirk up into a half smile, green eyes on her again before they went back to Anya, “Shof op, Onya. Ba ai bilaik kos em kom fir baka ai.” _Shut up, Anya. Although I would like her to be behind me._

“Gafen,” _Horny._ Anya bit out a laugh, “Em's firfou auda yu, yu get in?” _She's fearful of you, you know?_

Lexa shrugged, pursing her lips and letting her eyes flicker back to Clarke one more time before pushing her horse on, up ahead of them, throwing back over her shoulder, “Kos bos waines.” _For good reason_.

The rest of the journey was less eventful and less stressful. No more visits from Lexa. Just Anya explaining to her what Polis was like and explaining what would happen to her once they got there.

She told her about Polis being the capitol and a sanctuary of trade, with a marketplace full of anything and everything Clarke could think of. She briefly wondered if they'd have drawing supplies but decided not to ask. It wasn't like she had any money anyway. Did they even use money? Anya told her that she'd get her own room in Polis, a room with an actual bed instead of 'the crap she slept on last night' Anya's words, not hers. And she told her that Lexa would be keeping an eye out for her engineer and bring this engineer to Polis when they arrived. Anya had asked about the engineer but Clarke had little to tell, she didn't know who they would send. Clarke's Father had been an engineer but he was dead. She didn't know the others but she assumed it would be one of the younger ones, one of the more _expendable_ ones.

They could see Polis before they arrived. The tower came into view first, tall and regal in itself. Second were the buildings stretching over the horizon. The closer they got, the more the sun went down and as the dusk came Polis lit up. It was honestly beautiful, she'd shared this thought with Anya and Anya had just snorted and shrugged.

Dismounting a horse wasn't as easy as it looked. Their party, six horses in total, had stopped once they'd reached the gates of Polis. Once Anya had dismounted, swiftly and easily, Clarke's natural instincts were to lay flat.

That's how she found herself laying flat on the horses back and clinging to it for dear life while deciding that she was never going to get off because it seemed like a long way down...while their entire party looked at her expectantly.

“What are you doing?” Anya spat, “Get down.”

Clarke glanced around the faces that were watching her, “Do any of these people speak English?”

Anya shrugged and she took that as a no.

“Thank God,” Clarke gulped in releif, “Holy fucking shit, I can't get off, Anya!”

“Why?” She frowned.

“I...I don't know, it's so fucking far down and – oh my God, what if I fall? What if it tramples me?” She bit her lip, fingers digging more firmly into the horses fir, “Fuck me.”

“No thanks,” Anya wrinkled her nose, “Did you seriously ask if these people could speak English _just_ so you could cuss like a fucking sailor?”

Clarke nodded.

A bark of a laugh left Anya's lips, “Come on, get down, everyone is waiting for you.”

“Fuck, no, I can't,” Clarke shook her head, “My legs are numb, my ass is numb, I'm pretty sure I'm going to pee myself if I don't find a bathroom soon and while I'm being honest, I'm pretty sure that I have horse hair in my panties because you gave me some incredibly short shorts to wear and they've kinda been riding up, _if you know what I mean_ but no. I live here now, this is where I live so you can just go to bed, you'll know where to find me when you need me.”

“You're ridiculous,” Anya bit back a smile, “Forget about the horse hair in your cunt and get the fuck down!”

“No! I'm scared!” Clarke mumbled.

“Do you want me to help you?” Anya raised an eyebrow.

Clarke took a glance around the others standing with them, they were all still staring at her with neutral expressions but she could tell they were getting a little annoyed having to wait for her so she nodded.

Anya's smile was sickeningly sweet as she placed a hand on Clarke's back, fisting her shirt and then she yanked. Clarke's eyes went wide, a little scream leaving her mouth as she fell from the horses back onto her own, on the floor. Anya's face filled her view of the sky.

“There,” She growled, “Not so hard was it?”

Clarke scowled, blowing the hair out of her face, “If you're waiting for a thank you then you're going to be disappointed.”

Anya shrugged, turning to Indra, “I know I have selective hearing, Indra but if I'm not mistaken she just said thank you?”

“Sha, she did,” Indra replied in a bored voice.

Clarke leapt to her feet with a blush on her cheeks, immediately regretting it thanks to the pain in her thighs but proceeded to point an accusatory finger towards Anya, “You said no one else spoke English!”

“Actually,” Anya tutted, “I believe I shrugged, now say goodbye to the nice horsey who carried your whiney ass here and move it.”

“Fine,” Clarke huffed, muttering a _thank you horsey_ under her breath but after taking a step towards Anya with great difficulty she yelped in pain, making Anya spin back round towards her.

“What now?” She growled.

Clarke shrugged, “Apparently your horse has made me incapable of walking.”

Anya practically growled before making Clarke yelp for a second time as she effortlessly threw the blonde over her shoulder in a fireman's lift and started striding toward the tower of Polis at a steady pace, the rest of their party tailing them.

Clarke huffed. After trying to wiggled out of Anya's grip to no avail, she bracketed her hands on the girl so she could push her torso up and at least look behind them as they went. She was met with Lexa, watching her with her usual stoic expression - who was staring right into her eyes as Anya yelled.

“Stop touching my ass, you perv!”

“ _Your_ hands on _my_ ass too!” Clarke snapped, pulling her eyes away from Lexa's and towards the buildings, noticing that it was just the three of them now, “Besides, you're not my type.”

Said hand released it's grip on her ass only to come back down in a sharp slap, making Clarke yelp.

“I'm everyone's type.”

“What if I'm not into women?” Clarke argued, thinking she was being quite clever but realizing she was just opening herself up for questions. They entered the tower, Clarke only just managing to take in her surroundings before they were in an elevator of sorts, going up.

“Don't care,” Anya shrugged, shoulder digging into Clarke's stomach, “Wait, _are_ you into women?”

Clarke bit her lip, she knew this was coming, she didn't know how to answer that. Once upon a time she'd say something flirty. _Depends what day of the week it is_ or _well you are what you eat,_ followed by a wink or something. But that was _before_. And now she wasn't the same. Anya's voice pulled her out of her thoughts, apparently she'd taken too long to answer.

“Calm down you little homophobe.”

Clarke blinked heavily, swiping quickly at her eyes. Hoping Lexa hadn't caught the lone tear that'd escaped because Lexa was _still_ looking at her, she could _feel_ it, “I'm not homophobic, I've been with both.”

“Greedy,” Anya growled, entering a room and unceremoniously dumping Clarke on the bed.

Clarke sat up immediately, taking in the beautiful room before noticing Lexa was at the end of the bed after Anya had joined her.

“So this is actually Lexa's guest room and that room,” Anya pointed towards a second door, “Is the bathroom, you should probably bathe, I know _we_ would appreciate it-”

“Hey!”

“Lexa's bedroom is the only other one on this floor so don't, you know, try to kill her in her sleep or anything,” Anya shrugged, “Coz that wouldn't be cool but other than that do whatever. Someone will come and get you in the morning for breakfast, unless you're hungry now?”

Clarke shook her head, glancing at Lexa before focusing on Anya, “Why am I in her guest room? I don't understand.”

“She likes you,” Anya shrugged, the disinterest in her face showing tenfold.

“Why?”

Anya shrugged again, “I don't know, it's a toss up between your winning personality or your massive tits, could be either.”

Clarke's eyes widened.

“Pleni, Onya,” _Enough, Anya_. Lexa commanded gently.

“Kidding,” Anya grumbled, “Soooooo, goodnight?”

“How do I tell her thank you?” Clarke asked, “Like thanks for not killing me or something?”

Anya scoffed, “You don't need to tell her anything, she gets it,” She brought a finger up, tapping Lexa's nose with it, “Perceptive this one.”

“Um,” Clarke bit her lip, “Heda?”

The word was foreign on her tongue and she instantly cringed when she heard herself butcher it but nevertheless, Lexa's eyes fixed on hers, unreadable emotions flickering beneath the surface.

“Thank you,” She said slowly, hoping Lexa would understand.

The brunette gave her a small nod, her lips curling into a smile briefly before she turned and left the room, Anya on her heels, the blonde only pausing to tell her not to wander before shutting the doors behind them.

**\- - - - - - - - -**

She barely sees Lexa again all week. Only occasionally in passing. Anya she sees a lot of, Anya she sees _too much_ of.

She loves Polis. It's vibrant and busy and _alive_. Every morning she goes onto her balcony and watches and all these happy, smiling faces set up their stalls and chat in Trigedasleng. Children are constantly running through the streets.

She loves her room. She'd like to never leave her room. If only Anya could forget about her existence so she could just hide there forever, watching the happy people in the street but never having to interact with another human being again then she'd be set until her dying days.

Anya had other ideas though. Anya stomped into her room every morning with the announcement of 'your babysitter has arrived' and proceeded to drag Clarke around to all of her doings. Some of Anya's doings happened to be running messages of intimidation to people and Clarke thought that although whatever Anya was hissing lowly in Trigedasleng was probably terrifying, she wasn't sure how much her presence – a short blonde chick with obviously no combat experience and a confused look in her blue eyes – was helping.

Anya's other doings were fun though. She enjoyed watching Anya spar, she hadn't seen anyone come close to beating her yet. And she enjoyed annoying Anya when she was trying to hunt with her 'extra loud, gorilla baby like, footing' that was apparently scaring off all the animals, she thought Anya was actually just crap at hunting and she had fun telling her just that every time they came back empty handed.

Her favorite, however, was probably Anya's evening doings. Going to the tavern in the square of Polis and drinking beer that tasted bitter and shots of spirit that made her head spin. By the end of the night, once they were stumbling back to the tower she'd forgotten her Dad, she'd forgotten her Mom and she'd forgotten about Finn. It was just her and her friend Anya, although she'd called Anya her friend and Anya had proceeded to punch her in the arm, leaving it dead and with a forming bruise so she'd promised herself she wouldn't dare call them friends again.

It was on one of these nights that someone had burst into the tavern and located Anya with scared eyes.

“Kom op snap, Onya,” _Come quick, Anya._ They'd said, “Noda Skaikru dis hir!” _Another Sky Crew is here._

And then she was stumbling through the streets, Anya – who had apparently sobered up pretty sharpish - tugging her wrist to keep her moving and she wondered why she wasn't back in the safety of the tavern, getting shit faced to the point of a dreamless sleep. By the time her fuzzy eyes had cleared she noticed herself behind pulled into the thrown room.

She saw Lexa, sitting regal, on her thrown. She noticed two guards in front of the brunette with a girl between them. A girl in a red leather jacket and with a scared expression on her face.

“Em biyo em's Reivon kom Skaikru,” Lexa spoke, directing her gaze to Anya as Anya shoved Clarke in front of the Heda, “Klark?”

“Is this your engineer?” Anya asked.

Clarke stared at Lexa, narrowing her eyes, willing them to focus and trying to get her alcohol soaked brain to formulate enough thought pattern to establish what the fuck was going on. She swayed on her feet a little before she heard Anya's annoyed groan. Then Anya's hands were on her shoulders, spinning her to meet the scared face of this _Reivon._ Hey! She really was picking up Trig.

“Clarke?” Raven said, her voice careful and her eyes jerking around everyone in the room, “You're Abby's daughter, right? Jaha sent me, I'm...I'm Raven, I think you were in lock up with my boyfriend, Finn.”

Finn? _Finn_. Finn. Bile rose in her throat. There she was one minute, happily forgetting about her entire life on the Ark, happily getting drunk with her buddy – buddy isn't friend, _right?_ \- Anya and now here she was in front of Raven. Raven who was Finn's girlfriend. Finn's _lovely_ girlfriend. Finn's _beautiful_ , lovely girlfriend. _Finn's_ girlfriend. Finn's _girlfriend._ Finn. The bile turned into something else, something she couldn't stop as she doubled over.

Finn's lovely, beautiful girlfriend, Raven. Who she'd just thrown up on.


	2. Protection At A Cost

**Thank you so much for everyone who**

**commented,** ******bookmarked and left kudos.**

**Comments really do mean everything for me as a writer,**

**they keep me motivated and keep the chapters coming.**

**Obviously the first chapter contained a lot of humor and**

**that will carry on, however this fic will have some angst.**

**There was a little feedback suggesting not everyone is comfortable**

**with some of the scenes and everyone reading this should be aware that**

**this will contain some rape/non-con elements but I do not intend to upset anyone.**

**Thank you to everyone who reads and please keep the comments coming, every single one of them matters.**

**If anyone has any questions then be sure to ask and I'll reply either directly or in the next update.**

* * *

**2\. Protection At A Cost**

“What the fuck?”

A voice, _who was that?_ Clarke didn't know. She just blinked heavily, her eyes glued to the wall.

“Holy fuck, gross!”

Again with the voice? Clarke didn't have time for this, she closed her eyes.

“Shit, I don't have any spare clothes.”

In Clarke's head she picked herself up, walked herself to the safety of her bedroom, tucked herself into her beautiful, massive, comfy bed and hid.

“What the fuck, Griffin?”

When she opened her eyes again she was still in the same place. _Oh right_ , she'd thrown up on Finn's girlfriend and then proceeded to lie on the floor and hope the floor would do her a solid and just _absorb_ her. No suck luck. She groaned, turning onto her back and meeting the amused and slightly impressed look on Anya's face.

“You...you puked on her,” Anya said, “She said hello and you puked on her-”

“Anya-”

“This is the best thing you've ever done, Sky Girl,” Anya smirked, “Seriously, I absolutely hated you before, I kinda wished you were dead most of the time but now, _now_ I just-”

“What!?” Clarke snapped, grabbing at Anya's pant leg and pulling herself up, avoiding the hands trying to slap her away, until she came face to face with Anya, “You hate me?!”

Anya recoiled as Clarke's breath hit her face, “Brush your fucking teeth if you're going to get that close to my face.”

“I thought we were _best friends,_ I – we sang together Anya! We danced in the streets and sang that stupid song about...I can't remember, I was drunk but – Anya! You asked me what color my pubes are and you _hate_ me?” She gripped the collar of Anya's shirt, keeping Anya close to her face while the other girl scrambled to get away, “You can't ask someone what color their _pubes_ are if you _hate_ them!”

“ _Firstly_ ,” Anya growled, “ _You_ sang in the street, I observed you. Secondly, _you_ danced in the street, I observed you. Thirdly, I asked if the curtains matched the drapes but you didn't have to tell me! Fourthly, I hate everyone. And finally, stop talking about your fucking pubes in a fucking professional setting and talk to your God damn engineer!”

Clarke blinked heavily, she'd forgotten about Raven. She turned to her. Raven had been watching the exchange with an amused but confused eye brow raise, her arms crossed and Clarke's vomit on her jeans.

“Hi,” Clarke smiled, “Sorry about...that,” She gestured to Raven's lower half.

“Are you going to tell me what the hells going on?” Raven asked, “Because as far as I knew it was just you on your own down here so imagine my surprise when people turn up, make me sit on a horse for hours, I'm thrown in front of possibly the scariest looking teenager I've ever come across,” Her eyes dart to Lexa, “And then you show up drunk and throw up on me? You know you're supposed to be barely surviving right? Not having parties?”

“Uh...” If Raven was planning to continue talking that fast then Clarke was going to have to sober up pretty quick, “Hi,” She went for a smile, “This is my best friend Anya,” She pointed at Anya and ignored the mumble of 'fuck no' before she pointed at Lexa, “That's Lex – wait! Don't call her Lexa, that's their leader, call her Heda or...yeah, call her Heda but she doesn't speak English, only Trig.”

“Who's leader?” Raven narrowed her eyes.

Clarke shrugged, “Everyone's.”

"What do you mean _everyone_?" Raven asked, "How many people _are_ there down here?"

"Um..." Clarke squinted her eyes, trying to recall what Anya had told her, "Thousands."

“ _Jesus_ ,” Raven scrubbed a hand down her face, “I think _I_ need a drink.”

“I know just the place,” Clarke grinned.

“Hod op,” _Stop_. Lexa spoke up after watching the exchange silently, “Ban we Reivon dreinen taim em gaf, dig au fig raun em. Ba Klark's odon, ban op em bi ai.” _Take Raven drinking if she wants, learn about her. But Clarke's done, leave her to me._

“Holy shit, they really do have another language,” Raven said, impressed, “What did she say?”

Anya narrowed her eyes at the new girl before nodding to Lexa, “Sha, Heda. She said that if Raven wants to drink then I should take her to drink.”

“Yay!” Clarke clapped her hands together, “Shots!”

“Not you,” Anya pursed her lips together, trying not to smile, “You stay with Lexa.”

Clarke's face fell, “No.”

“What do you mean no?” Anya growled.

“Don't leave me with her!” Clarke pleaded, “I'm still not convinced that she won't shave my head as soon as we're alone together.”

“It'd be an improvement,” Anya shrugged.

“What? I'm cute, you said so,” Clarke pouted.

Anya rolled her eyes, “I said that you weren't disgusting to look at.”

“Exactly,” Clarke nodded triumphantly, “And in Anya language that means _'Clarke Griffin you're without a doubt the most beautiful Goddess I've ever had the pleasure to look at and now I just want you to have my babies'_.”

Anya just stared at her like she had two heads.

“Em's nou fokfou,” _She's not wrong._ Lexa said, making Anya snort a laugh.

“C'mon Raven, I'll find you some pants and then we can go to the tavern,” Anya nodded towards the door, shooting one last sharp look at Clarke to tell her to stay put.

Clarke's shoulders sagged in defeat as she watched the pair leave, Lexa clearing her throat made her turn to the brunette. Lexa was looking at her with a small smile and a raised eyebrow.

“I know you're like an amazing leader and everything, everything you've done is fucking impressive,” Clarke said, knowing Lexa couldn't understand her but needing to talk anyway, “But you can also be a real asshole.”

The amused twitch of Lexa's lips confused Clarke but she shrugged it off, focusing her efforts into scowling at the brunette without having to _actually_ look at her because Lexa was still terrifying after all. Lexa stood, her hand falling to the small of Clarke's back.

“Kom, Klark,” _Come, Klark._ Lexa said softly, “Taim kos riden.” _Time for sleep._

Clarke let herself be gently escorted to her room.

“I won't be able to sleep now,” Clarke grumbled, “Because you didn't let me get shit faced.”

Lexa frowned. She tilted her head towards Clarke's door, “Reshop, Klark.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Clarke muttered, her thoughts already turning dark, “Go fuck yourself, Heda.”

She pushed her doors open, not waiting to see if Lexa had anything else to say and crawled into her bed, planting her face in her pillows and wishing for sleep. Her head spun. This had been her worst day here so far. Puking on someone, getting sent to bed early, making a fool of herself. But even her worst day here was still better than the best day she could've had on the Ark – once her Dad was gone, anyway. Her best day on the Ark was when there was a holiday and most people weren't working so there were no guards around. Those days left her hungry and lonely but the was no pain. Here her worst day still involved comfort and booze and kindness. And now - because Raven had arrived - the Ark was more than likely to come down. Tears sprung to her eyes.

“Lexa!” Clarke cried out.

She had no idea if Lexa would even be able to hear her and even if she could maybe Lexa would just come in and cut out her tongue or something for Clarke slipping up and calling her Lexa instead of Heda but she needed _someone_ and Lexa was _someone_.

She head knuckles graze against her door in a half knock before Lexa's was front of her, looking at her expectantly with those green eyes that seem to never leave her. She motions to the bed for Lexa to sit and Lexa does because _of course she does_. And Clarke crawls towards her, sitting close so their arms brush.

“I know you're not going to understand what I'm saying but that's okay because I just need someone to listen,” Clarke said, swallowing thickly and shaking her head, trying to make her alcohol induced thoughts focus, “I'm scared, Lexa. I...I've always wanted to belong...I don't know, this sounds stupid. I've just never felt like I had a home somewhere but I've always wanted that, desperately. Somewhere I just fit, that I'm wanted and loved and...belong,” She repeated, more forcefully this time, more _sure_ , “And honestly, this has been it...like the way I feel here is the way I think it's supposed to feel. At least it was starting to feel like that. And now...When the Ark comes down I'm not going to fit anymore and I won't belong and I just...I'm so scared, Lexa-” A sob rips through her throat and she barely registers the strong arms around her, “I feel like life is cruel maybe...giving me a taste of something I've always wanted and then taking it away but maybe I'm just always supposed to feel expendable because I am – to the Ark that's what I am...”

Her voice is hoarse by now and the sobs ripping through her can't be contained. And she's drunk. And she's tired. And she's _sad_. So she doesn't say anything else. She just buries her face into the comfort being offered and lets herself soak it up. _Feels_ the arms around her. _Feels_ the hand stroking her hair. _Feels_ the foreign words being whispered into her ear. _Feels_ the comfort Lexa so easily provides for her until she can't keep her eyes open anymore.

**\- - - - - - - - - -**

When Clarke woke up it wasn't to Lexa but to a very happy looking Raven sitting cross legged on her bed, poking her. Clarke wished for death, burying her face back into her pillows until the poking commenced once again.

“ _Fuck,_ ” Clarke groaned, turning towards Raven to send her a scowl.

“So,” Raven smiled, popping a piece of died fruit into her mouth and chewing thoroughly, “This is all fucking crazy, huh?”

Clarke shrugged, more interested in Raven's bowl of fruit than anything else as she stole a piece for herself.

“Anya explained about the clans and stuff. When we get on the radio everyone's going to shit themselves,” Raven's eyes widened comically, “Can you imagine them all down here?”

“No,” Clarke said honestly, “I mean, not peacefully.”

“What?” Raven frowned.

“Can you really see Jaha doing what Lexa says for peace?” Clarke asked, “He'll think he can take over because he's an idiot and because he has guns but it won't work, Lexa has an army triple the size of Skaikru.”

“Skaikru?”

“Us,” Clarke yawned, “People from the sky, we're our own clan.”

“Jaha isn't Chancellor anymore,” Raven said lowly, “He actually got shot, Kane's in charge now.”

“What?” Clarke sat up, “Who shot him?”

“Some kid, Bellamy Blake.”

Clarke paled, “ _Fuck._ ”

“Yeah,” Raven agreed, “But he isn't getting floated, Kane just put him in a cell.”

“Still,” Clarke shrugged, “Kane though, what's that like?”

“He's better than Jaha,” Raven shrugged, “Your Mom's on his side.”

Clarke frowned, she didn't know how much she trusted her Mom's judgment.

“I know we don't know each other very well, Raven,” Clarke searched the girls face, “But I like it here.”

“I get it,” Raven nodded, “I'm not an idiot. The Ark coming down here could really fuck shit up but we don't have a choice, we have to get in contact and let them know what's going on. All we can do is try our best to make sure it goes smoothly.”

“Why do we have to?” Clarke frowned, “Why can't we just live and be happy.”

“Because _we_ aren't God, _we_ don't get to choose who lives and who dies. Besides,” A smirk came to Raven's face, “I'd really like to fuck my boyfriend in the forest.”

Right. Raven's boyfriend. Raven's boyfriend, Finn. That thought alone was enough for bile to rise but this time Clarke made it into the bathroom before throwing up.

When she made it back Raven wasn't alone, Anya was sitting in the spot Clarke had vacated moments earlier.

“I hope you throwing up wasn't induced by the thought of me having sex,” Raven joked.

Clarke didn't know what to say, 'no, just the thought of your boyfriend', so she just blew out a breath -minty fresh now, thank you toothpaste- and shook her head, plonking down near Anya's feet.

“So,” Anya turned to Raven but sensing Clarke's distress, not before shoving a hand into blonde hair, “Communication, Lexa wants to know how long.”

“I need to see Clarke's radio and jack it up to the monitor,” Raven explained, “Do you guys have tech like this here?”

Anya shook her head.

“There'll be a screen where we'll be able to see the people on the Ark and we'll be able to hear them and speak to them, _if_ I can jack it up right,” Raven explained, “If the equipment isn't in a shit state I might be able to do it in a day, no more than three.”

Anya nodded thoughtfully, not so carefully combing her fingers through Clarke's hair, tugging harshly whenever they hit a knot and making the blonde wince, “I'm Clarke's babysitter, I'd expect Lexa will pair you up with Lincoln.”

“Does he speak English?” Raven asked.

“Yes,” Anya nodded, “He doesn't talk much though.”

“Ah, the brooding silent type,” Raven laughed, “I go for the romantic guys myself, my guy is the most romantic of them all.”

Anya frowned when Clarke stiffened, staring down at her. Clarke could _feel_ the color drain from her face but she couldn't do much about it so she gave Anya the most subtle shake of her head that she could muster. Pleading that the girl took the hint, which she did.

“I prefer them hot and lethal,” Anya shrugged, “I just described myself, didn't I?”

“Mhm, except for the hot part,” Clarke quipped, earning and extra hard hair tug and a scowl.

“Linc will be able to communicate with the others for you, anyway,” Anya pondered for a moment, “Hey, maybe I should ask Lexa for you to stay with Raven today, give me a chance to actually hunt?”

“No!” Clarke said, her face flushing as soon as she realized she'd protested way too quickly, “I want fresh air, I've got a hang over,” She tried to shrug it off.

Raven seemed to buy it, nodding like that made sense. Anya didn't, she knew Anya wouldn't but it didn't really matter if Anya didn't as long as Raven did, she supposed.

“Go get ready then,” Anya said, swinging her foot up to Clarke's side and giving her a quick shove. Leaning back and crossing her legs once Clarke was on the floor with a thud.

**\- - - - - - - - - -**

“Tell me about him, Clarke,” Anya goaded. Pulling herself out of reach, yet again.

“Shut up!” Clarke growled, swinging her fist as hard as she could in Anya's direction before it hit the air once again.

They'd been going at this for an hour now. Anya had decided against hunting today and instead taken Clarke out into the training fields and basically told Clarke to attack her until Clarke did. But apparently Clarke had absolutely zero ability to even get _close_ to hitting Anya.

“That Raven girl mentions Finn and you tense up,” Anya kept going, “C'mon, hit me. So what's that about, Clarke?”

“Nothing!” She hissed, throwing her whole body towards Anya, hoping to knock her down but Anya dodged at the last moment and Clarke ended up on her ass. _Again._ The dirt from the ground sticking to her sweaty skin.

“It's okay to need people, you know?” Anya said, offering Clarke her hand and yanking the blonde up, “Talk to me, get some shit off your chest.”

“I...” Clarke was at her limit, she'd been pushed too far, she felt like she was going to explode. Instead she burst into tears, she started swinging with everything she had in her, tears blurring her vision and her fist finally connecting with Anya's cheek before she fell onto the floor in sobs, pulling her knees to her chest. Anya was right there with her, crouching in front of her, hand on her knee.

“You finally got me,” Anya smiled.

“You let me,” Clarke gave a watery laugh, making Anya shrug.

“Tell me what happened up there, Clarke,” She asked softly, “You don't have to go into detail but just give me an idea?”

“Okay,” Clarke nodded, “But only if you tell me that we're friends.”

Anya narrowed her eyes, “Fine.”

“Prison wasn't fun,” Clarke stated, “They'd hurt me. And...Raven's boyfriends...” Clarke gulped a breath, unable to say his name, “He hurt me too.”

Anya nodded, immediately accepting that this was all Clarke was willing to share, “Well done for being brave, Sky Girl.”

“Now say it,” Clarke's eyes clocked onto Anya's.

Anya smirked, standing up and walking briskly in the direction of the tower but Clarke pulled herself up and was hot on her heels.

“Anya! We had a deal!” She barked, “Now say it!”

Anya stopped dead and turned so quick that they came within an inch of each other, making Clarke gulp. Anya was rather scary after all.

“I don't have to say it,” She growled, “You already know it.”

Clarke didn't think she'd grinned so big in _years_. And she still had that smile when they made it into the throne room and Lexa looked them up and down in confusion. She could see why it might be confusing. Her sweaty, covered in dirt, red puffy eyes and a massive smile on her face and Anya looking...well exactly how Anya always looks but with a bit of a bruise on her cheek.

“Chit don kom au?” _What happened?_ Lexa asked.

“Lexa says stop smiling like that, you're creeping her out,” Anya said.

Clarke laughed, “Tell Lexa that I don't give a fuck because I'm having a good day and even her proposing we have a fucking threesome right now couldn't change that.”

Anya growled, teeth bared, drawing her knife and holding it up to Clarke's throat, “Next time you utter her name without her title and I slit your throat, Sky Girl.”

“I love you too, Anya!” Clarke's grin never wavered, “We should get bff bracelets.”

“What?” Anya growled.

“Matching best friend forever bracelets,” Clarke grinned, trying to grab Anya into a hug and unfortunately forgetting the was a knife pressed against her throat.

Everything happened at lightning speed. Once second she was pressing her trachea into an incredibly sharp blade, Anya's eyes going as wide as saucers and the next she was sprawled on the back with Lexa hovering over her. Anya's face came into view over Lexa's shoulder.

“Get off, I'm fine,” She pushed Lexa's hand away from her throat, frowning when they came away bloody.

“If Lexa didn't have such quick reflexes then right now you wouldn't even be able to _say '_ get off', _Clarke_ ,” Anya scowled, “What were you thinking?”

“I dunno,” Clarke shrugged, pink coloring her cheeks, “I forgot about the knife.”

Clarke watched as those green eyes she'd become so accustomed to scanned her neck, worry within them evident.

“Jomp em op en yu jomp ai op!” _Attack her and you attack me!_ Lexa spat.

“Slip op, Heda.” _Accident, Commander._

“Ai beda fragon yukom nau!” _I should kill you right now!_

Clarke was a little scared, Lexa was scary and Lexa near her, Lexa's angry voice and her angry eyes and her angry snarl was actually terrifying. All Clarke could do was keep quiet and stay still.

“Oh fuck off, Lexa,” Anya scoffed.

“Shof op,” _Shut up._ Lexa snarled back, “Em's mous slip daun.” _She almost died._

“Leksa,” Anya said, her voice more gentle. She crouched next to Lexa, taking one one Lexa's hands and much to Clarke's horror, placed it on the top Clarke's breast, pressing down into the flesh, “Lin em tombom. Em's kiken.” _Feel her heart. She's alive._

Clarke could only watch the pair with wide eyes, watch Lexa's eyes calm, watch Lexa swallow deeply.

“Ai fig raun en's ains eintaim,” _I think it's mine too._ Lexa said, her voice quiet now, calm.

“Yu tombom?” _Your heart?_ Anya frowned, her eyes following Lexa as she pulled away from Clarke – leaving the skin where her hand had been _burning_. Sitting delicately back on her throne.

“Em laik,” _She is._ Lexa nodded firmly. Anya gave her a slight nod.

Clarke just laid still, whatever weird tension was happening here, she didn't want to affect it but soon she didn't have to worry because Anya's hand was yanking her up, onto her feat.

“So...” She glanced between the two, “If you're done touching my tits now, mind telling me what the fuck just happened?”

Anya smirked, “Well...you attempted to commit suicide by trying to hug someone who had a _knife_ to your _throat_ and then you're girlfriend just threatened to kill me for it.”

“She's as much my girlfriend as Raven is yours,” Clarke rolled her eyes.

“No,” Anya scoffed, “I just met Raven. _Your_ girlfriend's already saved your life twice _and_ gotten to second base with you.”

All Clarke could do was scowl.

“Clarke and Lexa sittin' in a tree,” Anya began to sing before Clarke launched herself, attempting to tackle Anya. Of course Anya was incredibly strong so she just stood still with a scowl as Clarke latched onto her side like a monkey. Arms around her neck, legs around her hips.

“Guys!” Raven's voice started out excited but paused once she'd entered the room, “What are you doing?”

“Nothing!” Clarke yelped at the same time Anya shouted, “Threesome!”

Clarke was shocked and fell from Anya with a thump. She shook her head, crawling over to Lexa's throne and sitting next to the Heda's legs, pulling her knees up to her chest.

“I know you don't understand what I'm saying,” Clarke whispered, low enough for only Lexa to hear, “But I'm just going to sit by you while Raven's here because...” Clarke sighs, searching Lexa's face. In a way it was comforting that Lexa couldn't understand her, she could tell her things, say things out loud she couldn't say to anyone else, “Honestly it's because if she mentions Finn one more time I think I might throw myself off the balcony and it's not because I want to die...it's because I don't want to live in a world that he lives in and...the closer she gets to fixing the radio the closer Finn gets to here. To _me_. So...I'm just going to stay close to you because I kinda get the impression that you won't let anything happen to me. Okay?”

She watched Lexa search her eyes and she felt tears coming to her own. It's the closest to a confession she'd ever been and she meant it. She really did feel like Lexa would make sure no harm came to her. After a long moment Lexa gave her a sharp nod. What is meant, she wasn't sure but the back of Lexa's hand came to rest between her shoulder blades and it was _comforting_ so she relaxed.

She watched Anya and Raven talk, not listening whatsoever, just enjoying the closeness she had with Lexa for a while before Anya turned to them.

“So the radio's done,” She supplied with a shrug.

Everything in Clarke tensed, even her lungs stopped but only for a second as she was coaxed back to Earth but a thumb stroking against her pulse point.

**\- - - - - - - - - - -**

She found herself sitting in a chair. Raven on the chair next to her, the screen of the communication device sitting between them on the table in front of them. Lexa and Anya sitting next to each other on the table, so that they wouldn't be able to be seen on screen by the Ark, off to Clarke's side. The toe of Lexa's boot brushing her calf.

“Ready?” Raven breathed out, excited.

“Yep,” Clarke nodded, steeling herself.

Raven switched the device on and handed the speaker to Clarke.

She bit her lip, glancing nervously at Anya and then Lexa before pressing the button.

“Hello?” Her voice came out bumpy.

“Clarke!” Raven elbowed her.

“Oh, right, sorry,” Clarke mumbled, trying again, “This is Earth to the Ark, Ark are you receiving me?”

There was nothing but silence at first.

“I guess they can't-” She'd spoken too soon.

“ _Receiving, go ahead.”_ Her Mom.

“Uh...this is Clarke Griffin...from...Earth. I mean calling from Earth – uh-”

“ _Clarke? Is that really you?”_

Clarke gave a nervous chuckle, “Yep, _unfortunately_. Um, we have the screen up and running.”

After a few moments - with Raven looking at her like she was crazy, Anya looking at her like she wanted to both kill her and hug her and Lexa looking at her with a cool understanding – the screen came to live and there was her Mom. She opened her mouth but no sound came out. Her Mom looked exactly the same. The same as she looked when she was sending Clarke down to Earth. The same as she looked the day Clarke had gotten locked up. The same as she looked the day her Husband got floated and the same as all the days before that.

“So...how's it going?” Clarke asked, trying to focus on other things on the screen, anything other than her Mom. Like the background. _What a lovely grey wall that is, how beautiful._

“How's it going?” Anya mouthed with a raised eyebrow, making Clarke shrug.

“ _It's...well it's...going,”_ Abby frowned, unable to answer, _“Clarke, what happened down there?”_

“Um...not much,” Clarke mumbled, “Just um...been relaxing and-”

“We aren't alone, there are people here,” Raven butted in, sending Clarke a confused look.

Clarke shook her head, face planting Lexa's knees and she'd be perfectly happy to stay there until she dies if it weren't for Anya poking her in the side of the head, she twisted her head to see Anya with an amused expression, mouthing 'Just relaxing' at her. She focused back on Raven and her Mom's conversation just to catch the tail end of something Raven was saying.

“...they're grounders.”

“What the fuck is a grounder?” Clarke asked, sitting up straight, straighter than before.

“ _Language!”_ Abby scolded, making Clarke frown. When was the last time her Mom was _her Mom?_ She couldn't even remember but apparently that didn't exclude her from getting parented when the time suits.

“Grounders,” Raven made a subtle glance to Lexa and Anya with her eyes.

“They aren't called grounders, that's racist...I think,” Clarke shrugged, distracted. She turned to Anya with a whisper, “How do you say suck my huge-fat-mother fucking-hairy ass-dick in Trig?”

“Ai hod in bi choj gadagapa,” _I love to eat cunt._ Anya whispered back.

“Hey Mom, Ai-” Clarke was cut off with Lexa's hand of her arm as the brunette shook her head and Anya scowled.

“Can you please get your head in the game, Griff,” Raven said lowly.

Clarke nodded. Raven was right. This wasn't about her and her Mom, it was about the Ark and it was about trying to help things go smoothly. She took a deep breath.

“Where you're planning to land is in the Trikru territory or Trigeda, home of the coalition formed by Heda Leksa kom Trikru,” She stated, slightly proud of her accent, “Do you have authority to speak on behalf of Chancellor Kane?”

Abby's mouth opened and closed a few time, clearly shocked by the difference in Clarke, _“Some...yes.”_

“Okay,” Clarke nodded, “The Heda is willing to negotiate peace talks before your arrival.”

“ _What if Chancellor Kane doesn't think we need these peace talks to land?”_

“Do you want the truth?” Clarke asked, pursing her lips, waiting for Abby's nod of confirmation, “Then he'll die...and so will everyone else. Except me, I won't die, Lexa likes me...Raven probably won't die either.”

“ _Clarke.-”_

“Listen, these lands are in peace...the Heda wants to protect that piece so if you guys come down here thinking you get to be in charge then she won't have any choice but to react,” Clarke shrugged, “Your best bet is to seek protection within the coalition.”

“ _You think we should_ join _the coalition?”_ Abby asked, wide eyed and distant in her voice.

“Sure, why not?” Clarke licked her lips, “Ask to become the thirteenth clan, swear fealty to Heda then you're open to trading and you can actually survive and flourish down here.”

 _"You want us to swear fealty, to_ bow down _to this_ Heda _,_ _"_ Abby's lips turned up in distain, _"You can't possibly know the intentions of this so called-"_

"Shut up!" Clarke snapped, making more than one mouth drop open in surprise, " _My_ fealty _is_ to the Heda and you _won't_ talk about her like that in front of me."

 _"She isn't_ your _leader, Clarke."_

"Yes, she is," Clarke growled, "Look, you will need trade and protection if you come down here so-"

“ _What do they have down there that we so desperately need to trade?”_ Abby scoffed.

"I don't know," Clarke shrugged, her face mocking a wince as the the next words slip out of her mouth, “But they do have an army three times bigger than your entire population.”

“ _I want you and Raven to get somewhere safe.”_

“We're okay, we're safe,” Clarke dismissed the notion, “We just want you guys to come down here peacefully.”

“ _I'm sorry, Clarke. I can't listen to one child's opinion on such serious matters,”_ Abby paused, _“I need to hear it from Raven and then talk to Kane.”_

Everyone froze, waiting for Clarke to blow up but instead she took a deep breath and face planted Lexa's knees again. Screwing her eyes up tight to avoid angry tears from spilling out. She listened as Raven got over the shock of her Mom's words before she repeated pretty much _exactly_ what Clarke had said but with less sureness that Lexa only wanted peace. Clarke knew it was the case. Anya had told her how hard Lexa worked for this and even if Anya hadn't said it then Clarke would still be able to see it in every smile Lexa sent to the children playing around Polis, the pride in the eyes every time she noticed Trikru and Azgeda trading because apparently they were mortal enemies...there was no doubt in Clarke's mind that Lexa wanted peace.

But what did she know? She was only a _child_ after all.

She shook her head. Tuning out her Mothers words and instead focusing only on the two hands combing through her hair, one tugging extra hard when they got to a knot and the other gently working through each one with delicate fingers.

\- - - - - - - - - - -

So Abby was talking to Kane. And Raven was checking out the scrap metal workshop Lincoln had told her about because apparently scrap metal was 'exciting' and apparently Raven couldn't just sit and wait. They didn't technically need Raven for the peace talks anyway, just Lexa and Indra because Indra was going to be speaking for Lexa instead of Anya because apparently Anya 'didn't do social situations' and to be honest, Clarke could see why. She was a bit jealous though, how did she get in on that?

So it ended up being just her and Lexa left in the room with the radio. Lexa sitting where Raven had vacated, reading one of the many books lining the walls while Clarke paced around pointing at things and trying to persuade Lexa to say the name of the objects in Trig but with Lexa ignoring her mostly.

When the screen made that bleeping noise Raven said it would make when someone was trying to connect they made eye contact and silently shuffled into their places, Clarke on the chair and Lexa by her side but on the table so that she was out of site. She pressed the button to connect and her whole body froze.

“ _Clarke? Where's Raven? Are you alone?”_

Clarke drew in a deep breath, her teeth sinking into her tongue as she desperately tried to steady her nerves, “I'm alone.”

It was only a little lie. She wasn't _alone_ because Lexa was here but Lexa couldn't understand so it was kind of a half lie.

“ _Did you tell anyone what happened?”_ His voice got a little chillier.

She frowned, “Did I tell anyone...like your girlfriend?”

“ _I swear, if you told her, Clarke, I'll-”_

“I didn't,” Clarke cut him off with a hoarse whisper, not wanting to hear the end of that sentence.

“ _Good,”_ He nodded, the edge in his voice gone but replaced by a certain lilt that instantly made Clarke uncomfortable, _“I've missed you so much, baby. Fuck, I've missed that body the most...I can't wait to have you wrapped around my-”_

“Finn!” Clarke cut him off, the volume of her voice making her jump. She couldn't risk glancing at Lexa, she knew she'd cry and she was thoroughly embarrassed, even if Lexa didn't know what was being said.

“ _What?”_ He chuckled, _“You aren't into phone sex? C'mon Clarke, you're my dirty little secret, if you're not going to give it to me-”_  
  
“You know we didn't have sex right? It wasn't some naughty affair we were mutually having,” She spat, the words bubbling out of her mouth before she could stop them. Oh boy, did she wished she'd stopped them.

“ _You have no idea how much fun I'm going to have with you when I get there, Clarke,”_ His voice was low, his facial expression getting dangerous.

"I-"

_"Don't pretend you don't want it, slut."_

She couldn't hear or see anything after that. He wasn't going to stop. She escaped him. She came down to Earth and she never had to see him again. And now he was coming. And it would be the same as always. He just told her that. That's all she was. A slut, an expendable one at that. She bit her lip, hard. Tasting the copper as her head spun. Her brain cleared enough to hear him say one thing, although she had no idea what else he'd said.

“ _...tell me you want it...”_

Her eyes filled with tears but she wouldn't let them fall, not in front of him, she gasped a breath of air, looking anywhere but at the screen, her voice coming out in a whisper, “I want-"

“Klark,” The soft voice cut her off, breaking her out of her head. Her eyes met with green, she'd forgotten Lexa's existence, she'd definitely forgotten Lexa was in here. She noticed her fingertips were wet, she glanced down, gasping when she saw that her nails had dug so hard into Lexa's forearm that she'd made her bleed. When had she even grabbed Lexa's arm? Lexa took her hand, thumb smoothing over the skin of her knuckles. Lexa tipped her head towards the screen, “Pleni?”

Clarke had heard that word many times. _Enough_. She nodded, pulling all of the power and bravery she could draw from Lexa's eyes and turning back to the screen.

“I _don't_ want it,” She said forcefully, “I _never_ wanted it.”

“ _What the fu-”_

She disconnected it before he could finish his sentence and then she burst into tears. Lexa's arms were around her in seconds but she pulled back, hands on Lexa's biceps so she could look the brunette in the eyes.

“I'm so scared, Lexa! If he-” Her confessions were caught in a sob when Lexa's put her finger to Clarke's lips, shaking her head. She was confused. How dare Lexa shush her when she was a sobbing mess on the floor? She'd had enough of this. Of people, of everything. She pulled away. Shaking her head no when Lexa reached for her hand and she left. Going back into the sanctuary of her room and hiding under the furs. Even if she was well aware that she was making them crusty with her tears. She'd made up her mind. If Finn was coming down to Earth then she wasn't going to be alive when he got here. She was going to enjoy the next week or two with Anya and Raven...and maybe Lexa if Lexa managed to stop being so confusing...and then that would be the tale of Clarke Griffin. Octavia would miss her, Anya would miss her. She cried harder when she ran out of people that genuinely might miss her after two goes.

\- - - - - - - - - - - -

This was the last of it.

The last Ark responsibility she had. Making sure the peace talks went well. Or at least try to. She was back in the room she was beginning to hate, it just reminding her of her Mom and Finn now. She hadn't told Raven that Finn radioed and when Kane had asked Raven if it'd been nice speaking to her boyfriend, Raven had pinned her with a confused and assuming look. She just looked down at her knees until she heard Raven walking out of the room.

She sat quietly by Lexa's legs. She liked it here. She could hug her knees and not pay attention or she could hear what was going on. Sometimes she could _feel_ what was going on if Lexa got a bit exaggerated and a knee hit the back of her head. Always followed by soft, apologetic fingers though.

As it turned out, Kane was actually much more interested in making an alliance and becoming a part of the coalition than Abby. And he was in fact the Chancellor so dealings were going smoothly.

Clarke liked smoothly because she didn't have to butt in.

Between Kane and Lexa, through Indra, they'd managed to make it through most of the priority stuff. Land, trade, warfare, warning the Ark about the Mountain...they were almost at a close. In the end they were just summarizing.

“The land two miles South will be Skaikru, stretching all the way to the desert,” Indra noted, “That should be enough for your farmers to start planting.”

“ _Yes, with the coordinates of Raven's drop ship we should be able to land right in the center of it.”_

“So we're in agreement but Heda still has one thing to settle,” Indra said.

“ _What else is there?”_ Clarke could hear the confusion in Kane's voice, she too had thought that everything had been settled.

“Heda has one final request from you, should you agree it will seal this deal.”

“ _Yes, yes, anything...”_

“Heda wants a Wife, a Skaikru Wife.”

Clarke's eyes shoot up to Lexa's but the green eyes are fixed on the screen, her usual stoic expression fixed in place.

“ _What...what would that en-tale exactly?”_

“This Wife would be bound to Heda, making your alliance stronger but you'd be giving up your say as this woman's Chancellor. The only person outranking her would be Heda herself.”

“ _I...I'm sure we can find a suitable...um, there are lost of single women on my ship and_ _I'm sure some will be willing to_ -”

“No,” Indra cut him of, “Heda feels that Klark kom Skaikru will do quite nicely.”

Clarke froze. What the actual fuck?

“ _Clarke? Does Clarke even want to-”_

“Your people's protection for Klark kom Skaikru, that's the deal and there will be no substitutes.”

No. Surely Chancellor Kane wasn't going to trade her, a human girl for a truce. Surely her wants mattered in this scenario to some extent. Her Mother would _never_ agree to it for starters. Not to mention that she was a living, breathing person with feelings and wants and desires. No he was never going to say yes.

“ _Deal. Clarke is yours. We land in two weeks.”_


	3. Not So Bad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the reviews and kudos!  
> I'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter too so please keep the reviews coming!  
> If anyone has any questions then feel free to ask.

**3\. Not So Bad**

She didn't move a muscle after the words had come out of Kane's mouth.

_Clarke is yours._

She didn't move a muscle as Indra finished the talks. She didn't move a muscle when Raven came to turn the monitors off. She didn't move a muscle when Lexa - without acknowledging her, _by the way -_ left the room, Indra hot on her heels. She didn't move a muscle for the whole hour it took for someone to realize she was still frozen in place.

_Clarke is yours._

“Clarke?”

Raven was in front of her, pushing the blonde hair back from her face from where it'd fallen to block her eyes. Her unseeing eyes brimmed with tears.

_Clarke is yours._

Clarke isn't hers anymore. Was she ever hers? Or was she just passed from person to person? From her Mom or from _the Ark_ to Lexa?

“Sweetie, what happened? I thought it all went well, Indra said it worked out exactly how Lexa planned it so what's wrong?”

The words stung.

_Clarke is yours. Exactly how you planned it._

“Clarke? You're scaring me, want me to get Anya or Lexa?”

“No!” The word was out of her mouth along with a sob. She definitely didn't want Lexa.

_Clarke is Lexa's._

“I'm getting Anya,” Raven huffed, “I want you to be okay and she'll know how to handle you better than me, she knows you better.”

She doesn't remember Raven leaving. She doesn't remember Raven coming back. She does remember the pain of Anya slapping her right across the face, followed by Raven's 'not really what I had in mind when I said Clarke needs comfort, Anya'.

“What the fuck was that for?” She yelled, gripping her cheek and searching between Anya's annoyed and bored expression and Raven's wide, worried eyes.

“Pull yourself together, Sky Girl,” Anya growled, “You're hot, she's hot so just shut the fuck up about it and have some lesbian babies.”

“Anya! How can you even-”

“No!” Anya cut her off, “Answer three fucking questions right now, Clarke.”

Clarke nodded furiously, she wasn't sure what kind of comfort this was but so far it was getting her pumped.

“Okay! One: Have you ever seen Lexa make _one_ decision without good intentions, good reasons and really thinking it through?”

“Well she did kill that frog-”

“It was poisonous, _Clarke_!”

“I wasn't going to lick it, _Anya_!” She huffed at the narrowing of Anya's eyes, “No, never.”

“Good! Second: Who is your fucking Commander, Clarke?”

“Lexa,” Clarke nodded, eyes widening when she realized it was absolutely true, Chancellor, Commander, Heda, whatever, _Lexa_ was truly Clarke's, “Lexa is my Heda.”

“Right!” Anya pulled Clarke up, helping Clarke jump on the spot to get really pumped, “Three: How fucking hot does she look in those tight, black pants, the ones that stick to her ass?”

“What?” Clarke practically yelped.

“Worth a shot,” Anya shrugged, “Keep jumping! Three: Do you trust her, Clarke?”

Clarke nodded vigorously. She did. She really, really did trust Lexa.

“That's right! So you're going to march your little butt in there and what are you going to do?”

Clarke paused, what was she going to do? What answer was Anya looking for here? She was all for this 'getting pumped' thing and it seemed to be working but...what _was_ she going to do?

“I'm going to march my little butt in there!” Clarke said enthusiasm still dripping from every word, “And I'm going to tell my future Wife that you slapped me in the face!”

Anya paused, face dropping, “You wouldn't.”

“Watch me!”

Clarke's attempt to dart out of the room was quickly stopped by Anya's war cry, 'don't you dare!' falling from her lips before Anya tackled her, effectively pinning her to the floor. She yelped, trying desperately to crawl out of the room while Anya clawed at her hips to keep her in place.

Raven, who'd remained silent throughout the whole situation shook her head, “This is too weird for me,” She muttered as she stepped over the scrambling pair to make a hasty retreat.

\- - - - - - - - - -

That night she found herself at the tavern with Anya and Raven. Anya who – no matter how much she'd had to drink – always seemed composed and Raven who seemed to just get bolder and louder with each beer she drank.

“I don't know about this, Griff,” Raven smacked a hand down on her shoulder, she thinks it would probably be more like a friendly clap if the girl was a little more sober and maybe wouldn't of made her drink go down the wrong way. But Anya was there to make sure she didn't choke – even if it looked like Anya way absolutely enjoying watching her in pain, if the smirk on her face was anything to go by. _Fuck you, Anya_.

Clarke shrugged. She didn't know about 'this' either. She was confused about the whole thing. Lexa wanted to marry her. Lexa wanted a Wife and Lexa though she'd 'do quite nicely', whatever that meant. She wondered if Lexa would chose someone different if she just point blank refused – or would Anya just drag her up the isle by her hair instead? Was there even going to _be_ an isle? She'd have to ask Anya, she sure as fuck wasn't going to ask _Lexa_.

“How d'you think I feel?” Clarke slurred, “S'not like she wants to marry _you_.”

“If she wanted to marry me, I'd say no. I _do_ have a boyfriend, if you haven't forgotten,” Raven gave her a pointed look. A look Clarke probably lingered on for too long.

“How could I forget,” She rolled her eyes, “He's basically _all_ you talk about.”

She hadn't realize she'd said it out loud until Raven's shoulder was knocking against hers.

“Jealous?”

Clarke couldn't help the burst of laughter that bubbles out of her then. Jealous? _Jealous?_ Raven thought she was jealous? No. But the confused and slightly hurt expression on Raven's face made her laughter simmer.

“Not jealous,” She shook her head, looking up at the ceiling thoughtfully for an excuse that wouldn't make her seem like a bitch and shrugged, “Wrong equipment.”

“Right,” Raven nodded, drawing out the 'i', “I guess that's something at least? Being forced into a marriage with a dude would be worse than this, if you're gay.”

It was a statement Clarke hadn't thought about. Would she feel different if Lexa was a guy? No. She still wouldn't feel particularly happy about giving up her chance to fall in love. But Lexa? What if she fell in love _with_ Lexa? _Could_ she fall in love with Lexa? Could _Lexa_ fall in love with _her?_ Her head hurt.

“You think too much,” Anya said in her typical growl before pointing at Raven too, “Both of you.”

Raven narrowed her eyes and the unwelcome intrusion, “Do tell, oh wise one?”

Anya rolled her eyes at the sarcasm but indulged anyway and pointed a finger at Clarke, “She needs to get over herself – in fact, I think we need to start punching her every time she complains because 'oh, poor me, the most powerful person in this world wants to have my babies and she happens to be really fucking hot' _should not_ get sympathy points,” Anya ignore Clarke's protesting 'hey!' to turn her attention on Raven, “And you, are so caught up with this Finn dude that you've closed the door on anything else.”

“What's that supposed to mean?” Raven's frown deepened, “And why would I want anyone else, he's the one for me.”

“Gross,” Anya wrinkled her nose in disgust, “I'm just saying that life doesn't always work out how you plan it. Right now Finn's the perfect guy or whatever but wait a few months and maybe it'll turn out that he's a raging cunt but you were to blinded by _love_ to see it. Then you'll of wasted all that time you spent doodling Mr and Mrs Finn in your journal and fingering yourself to thoughts of him proposing to you.”

“First of all, don't talk, _or think_ , about me fingering myself, _ever_ ,” Raven waggled said fingers in front of Anya's unamused face, “And you're clearly asuming that this is some fling or that Finn and I have only been dating for a couple of months but you couldn't be more wrong. We grew up together and we had out first date when I was twelve, ten years later and we're still in love.”

  
There's that bile again. _Ten years_. Oh fuck a duck. Seriously, she'd rather fuck a duck. She wondered briefly if there were any ducks around here before her head started to spin and with Anya shooting her a sympathetic look, she couldn't ignore the bile anymore. She turned quickly to run outside but it was too late and the contents of her stomach left her. _Fuck._ She shook her head, muttering apologies as she desperately made her way to the bar. Waving her hands franticly and shaking her head when the man standing behind it pointed to the beer. No, something stronger. What the fuck did Anya say when she ordered?

She could hear Anya from across the room, not being able to keep the impressed tone out of her voice or maybe she wasn't even trying, “You puked on her! You puked on her _again_!”

What was that burning spirit called? “Faya Souda?” _Fire drink._

The look of recognition on the man's face instantly drew a sigh of relief from her. He grabbed a shot glass and filled it, the second it was full it was down Clarke's throat, burning painfully where her throat was raw from throwing up. She just set the glass down and looked back up at the man expectantly, “You can keep them coming, dude.”

He tilted his head in question and she bit her lip, how did you say it?

“Not pleni,” Clarke stumbled, pleni was enough right? She was sure that's was Lexa would say, “Um, more, please? Uh – beja?” _Please._

He nodded immediately and just handed her the bottle. Well this turned out to be a fantastic new turn of events. She'd have to remember this, speak a little Trig and look half desperate and she'd get her very own bottle of fire drink? _Yes, please!_

Ten minutes later she thought maybe it wasn't her absolutely _brightest_ idea to have drank a quarter of the bottle in that time frame because there was _definitely_ two of Anya prying the bottle from her hands.

“You got a twin?” She patted Anya's face lovingly. But Anya wasn't talking to her, she was speaking swift Trig to the bartender and then scooping Clarke in her arms and carrying her out of there.

“Your friend is a moron,” Anya growled to her left and Clarke's eyes followed. Raven had a twin too and they _both_ looked pissed, “She drank a quarter of a bottle of Faya Souda to herself, that stuff is like acid, you only ever have one shot of it.”

“She was your friend first,” Raven spat.

“She's from _your_ crew.”

“Yeah, well,” Raven huffed, “Next time she drinks, let's let Lexa get vomited on.”

“No,” Anya barks a laugh, “That's no fun.”

She stopped listening. _Fuck_. She was very drunk. But that was a good thing. Ten years. Finn and Raven had been in a relationship for _ten_ years. Raven could do so much better but Raven _wanted_ Finn. _Fuck_.

She was only brought out of her drunken stupor when she felt the arms around her change, she glanced up, seeing that Lexa was the one holding her bridal style now – _how fitting_.

“Oda Faya Souda,” _Too much fire drink._ Anay said in a clipped tone before her features turned amused, “Em chok op koven Reivon. _Nodotaim._ ” _She threw up on Raven. Again._

“Kom au gougou, mebi.” _Become a habit, maybe._ Lexa said, eyebrow raised. Green eyes finding Clarke's for half a second before being pulled away when Anya laughed.

“Are you two really laughing about her throwing up on me again?” Raven growled.

“Lexa thinks it's Clarke's new hobby,” Anya said through laughter, “Like _'hey, I'm Clarke, I like long walks on the beach and my hobbies include brushing my hair and throwing up on people, specifically throwing up on Raven'._ ”

Clarke frowned, that was the most ridiculous impression of herself she'd ever heard, “You made me sound like a bimbo.”

“Yeah?” Anya sent her a look like she didn't see the problem.

“Don't call me a bimbo!” She gave her best snarl but her hiccup halfway through probably wasn't particularly intimidating, “I'm _not_ a bimbo.”

“Whatcha gonna do about it?” Anya challenged before doing her best girly giggle and 'dumb blonde' hair flip.

“ _Ayna_ , I don't flip my hair and I don't giggle like that and I'll tell you what I'll do,” Clarke said, trying to think something, _anything._

“I'm waiting,” Anya's voice held a teasing lilt to it.

“I'll...” She looked up, seeing amused green eyes dancing over her face and Clarke's face spread into a triumphant grin as she turned back to Anya, “I'll sick my Wife on you!”

Anya's face fell from amused to grumpy, clearly she hated losing – even if was just a silly squabble like this, “Fine, you win,” She grumbled but then her lips turned up into a teasing smirk, “Unless she's only marrying you for your bimbo tits.”

“Hey!” Clarke tried to keep her voice serious but she couldn't help but laugh, “You're wrong, she stares at my ass too,” She giggled, sticking her tongue out at Anya.

“That too,” Anya jests, “And your pretty face.”

“Are you sure _you_ don't want to marry me?” Clarke teased.

“I've never been surer of anything in my life,” Anya nodded, ignoring the 'bitch' that left Clarke's mouth and swooping down to press a wet kiss to Clarke's cheek, “I'm going to get your friend some new clothes, try not to puke on your Wife when she tucks you in, Sky Girl.”

And then Anya was gone with a _'don't die from alcohol poisoning'_ thrown over her shoulder and she took the easy and fun atmosphere with her. Leaving a heaviness to the air surrounding her and Lexa as Lexa carried her towards her room.

“Holy shit,” Clarke hums to herself, “You're going to be my Wife. At least it's a big _fuck you_ to my Mom, she's never taken my... _tastes_ seriously but now she'll have to stop pretending it's inevitable that I'm going to end up with some hairy dude.”

Lexa listens to her diligently, the arms around her gentle as she sets Clarke on her bed. Her hands careful as they pull off her shoes.

“I kinda hate you for not asking, just kinda telling,” Clarke frowned, “Not even telling _me_ either. You could've warned me, _'by the way, Clarke, I'm gonna trade you like a common whore. Just a heads up because you'll overhear it in negotiations anyway.'_ But you didn't and you should've.”

“A'ts moba,” _I'm sorry_. Lexa whispers, eyes connecting with Clarke's.

“It's okay,” Clarke shook her head, she didn't need Lexa telling her she was 'moba', she knew what that meant and she didn't need it. Especially not with those green eyes boring into her soul, she tried to remember the Trig she knew, “Bilaik oden, Lexa.” _It's done_.

“Ai swega klin fleil raun os yu au, Klark kom Skaikru.” _I promise I'll be good to you, Clarke from Sky Crew._

Clarke was half asleep the moment Lexa tugged the furs over her but she didn't miss the gentle press of lips to her forehead. She muttered a 'reshop, Heda' before turning and burying her face in the pillows.

\- - - - - - - - - - - -

“RISE AND SHINE!”

“Fuck!” Clarke groaned.

Anya just _had_ to shout to wake her up at the crack ass of dawn. _What the actual fuck_. Did Anya _have_ to be this much of a bitch. _Really?_ Her head felt like she'd been hit by...well, _by Anya_. Her muscles hurt, probably from her thud of a fall out of bed, falling due to Anya's idea of a wake up call. Her throat felt raw, her mouth felt like either something had died in it or she'd decided to wander last night and ended up eating ass.

“You suck!” She groaned, “You suck, you suck, you _suck_! You couldn't of let me sleep?”

“Nope,” Anya said, unapologetically, “It's your own fault for getting wrecked last night but today you get introduced to the ambassadors as Heda's Haiplana.”

“Heda's what?”

“Queen,” Anya grabbed one of Clarke's arms and yanked her up from the floor, “That'll be your title when you're married, Klark kom Skaikru, Haiplana kom Trigeda.”

“What in the what is the what?”

Clarke's brain couldn't catch up, she was severely hung over and maybe still slightly drunk and she was pretty sure she was _never_ going to eat ass again. Anya was staring at her with an unimpressed look.

“Queen of Trigeda, _Jesus_ , you need to wash,” Anya started pushing her towards the bathroom, “You stink worse than Raven and Raven uses your vomit as perfume.”

“Wait!” Clarke stopped her with a hand to her chest once they'd reached the tub and Anya had starting trying to _undress her_ , “What am I doing today?”

“You're- hold still!” Anya yanked Clarke's shirt up only for Clarke to push it back down forcefully, “You're being introduced as Lexa's houmon.”

“Her what?”

“Her...her partner, her...it doesn't translate,” Anya scowled, “Her person.”

“Her person?” Clarke said slowly, watching Anya nod, “To who?”

“Everyone,” Anya shrugged, “You'll get dressed up real nice, you'll stand by Lexa's throne while the ambassadors welcome you and give you their offerings and then there'll be festivities.”

“I don't wanna be judged by a load of ambassadors,” Clarke frowned.

“They won't judge you . They'll just give you gifts and make lewd comments about your tits, right up your ally, you'll love it.”

Clarke wrinkled her nose in disagreement, “And what festivities?”

“Not much, just an excuse for the locals to have a street party really,” Anya shrugged, “Dancing, drinking, food.”

“That...actually sounds fun.”

“Good, get washed and we'll make you look pretty,” Anya goes for the hem of Clarke's shirt but her hands were stopped again.

“Make me look pretty?” She frowned.

“Well, we'll _try_ ,” Anya mused, “I don't have high expectations that we'll succeed.”

Anya absolutely deserved the smack on the arm she received and Clarke doubted it'd be the only one before this day was over.

“No,” Clarke decided, gesturing to herself. Her oversized pyjama shirt, shorts and messy bed hair, “This is what she decided to marry so this is what she'll have to put up with.”

“Fine by me,” Anya shrugged, “I don't care if everyone thinks the Heda is marrying a stinky slob. Besides, it's definitely true.”

Clarke rolled her eyes, “Just let me brush my teeth and we can go...do whatever it is I'm supposed to do.”

\- - - - - - - -

That's how she found herself if the throne room, staring between Lexa and Anya. Lexa who – Clarke couldn't deny – was looking rather radiant and Anya who was looking at her in disdain, arms folded across her chest.

“Just stand next to the throne and keep your mouth shut unless someone says something to you.”

“I don't want to stand next to the throne,” Clarke spat back.

“Then what do you want to do?” Anya was clearly tiring of her 'nonsense' but if Clarke had to do this she wanted to be comfortable.

“I want to sit there,” Clarke pointed to the spot next to Lexa's legs. The spot where she could lean her back against the throne and have Lexa's hand on her shoulder if she wanted to, “That's my spot.”

“Then sit there.”

“I don't want it to seem like I'm her pet or something,” Clarke argued, “Would you just ask her if it would seem inappropriate for me to be sitting by her feat?”

“You ask her,” Anya rolled her eyes.

“I don't speak Trig!”

“Yu houmon ste laudnes a ay tush,” _Your Wife is a pain in my ass_. Anya grumbled.

“Sha, Onya,” Lexa nodded.

“She said she's going to fuck your mouth with a candle if you don't shut the fuck up and sit the fuck down,” Anya said, face bored.

“She literally said 'yes, Anya',” Clarke rolled her eyes but decided to just go for it and sit where she wanted to sit, in her spot, “Besides, I doubt she'd say anything like that because we're not going to have sex.”

“You're not a very good lesbian if you're going to pass up on a dish like that,” Anya replied, making her way behind Clarke so she could stand off to one side of the throne.

“Shut up,” Clarke hissed.

“You bring shame to lesbians everywhere.”

“I'm not even a lesbian!” Clarke bit back, “I'm bisexual.”

“Not anymore,” Anya smirked, “No more dick for you forever,” She said in a sing-song voice.

“Pleni, Onya,” Lexa cut her off, “Wan daun kiden em.” _Stop teasing her_.

“Looks like my Trig is getting better, I know that one,” Clarke said in a serious tone before dead-panning, “Translates to 'you're a cunt'.”

“Filthy, filthy mouth you've got there,” Anya tutted, “Think your Wife's going to enjoy _that_ in the bedroom.”

“I swear Anya I-”

“Shh,” Lexa shot them both a stern look. Like a Mother would her bickering children.

Moments later people started coming and going. Clarke didn't know what to expect but it wasn't this. Everyone was _lovely_. Most of the ambassadors spoke English and they simply welcomed her into their home and gave her gifts from their villages. Really neat gifts at that. They made little jokes here and there about someone _finally_ managing to tie the Commander down and how the Commander was lucky to woo someone as beautiful as herself but other than that it was just friendly, welcoming smiles. They actually seemed _pleased_ that she'd be their new Queen.

And inspite of her hangover she was having a good time. No one commented on her pyjama's – except Raven who'd come in sometime near the beginning to hang out with Anya and shot her a look along with a 'nice pyjama's, your highness' – and no one commented on her _tits_ , not that she'd actually thought they would but nevertheless they didn't and she was glad. Getting presents was fun, on the Ark you got one present on your birthday – unless you were in prison – but it was always something you _needed_. Clothes or toiletries, _necessities_. So, yeah, she was enjoying being spoilt. And Lexa's hand resting gently on her shoulder had made her feel _supported_. The shiver, however, that ran down her spine every time she moved enough for Lexa's fingertips to graze the skin on her neck was something she definitely wasn't going to acknowledge.

When Lexa gave her shoulder a squeeze and got up – to stretch her legs, Clarke though – Clarke assumed that meeting the ambassadors was over so she turned to Anya and Raven with a grin on her face.

“I did it,” She laughed, “I met them and they liked me – I _think_ they liked me – and I didn't throw up on anyone!”

“Lucky for them,” Raven grumbled but she ignored it in favor of the proud smile Anya was sending her way.

“I told you it would be fine,” She teased, “So, what did you get?”

Clarke looked over her gifts, all twelve of them. Her favorites being the carved wooden wolf gifted from Azgeda or _Ice Nation_ , the painting of blue mountains with white tops from Ouskejon Kru or _Blue Cliff_ and the dagger from Trikru that had a crafted and beautifully painted handle with her initials on it and Lexa's Commander symbol – not that she even knew what to do with a dagger but it was _pretty_.

“Oo,” Anya pointed at a wooden box, “You got salt water taffy from Floukru. You know they make that with salt from the ocean, I swear there's nothing else like it around. It's actually Lexa's favourite.”

Clarke shrugged, resting her hands on her knees, watching Anya looking through her things.

“Oh my God, you got nettlerub?” Anya grumbles, pointing at a little pot that - if Clarke remembers correctly – came from Trishana Kru or _Bright Forrest._

“You can have it,” Clarke shrugged, passing Anya the pot, “What even is it?”

“A healing balm,” Anya smirked, stashing it in her pocket, “It's really rare and hard to make but it heals cuts faster than anything else.”

“Well I hope you think of me sacrificing my...nettlerub for you the next time you're healing at a rapid pace,” Clarke laughed, grabbing something else from her pile of gifts, “Raven, here.”

“Thanks, Griff,” Raven smiled, holding up the little bird statue that'd been painted black from Louwoda Kliron or _Shallow Valley_. Maybe it looked more like a crow than a raven but fuck it, it was still cute and Raven seemed to appreciate the gesture.

“Is shnookums okay?” Clarke asked, nodding towards Lexa – who was looking down at Polis from the balcony.

“Shnookums?” Anya asked with a raised eyebrow, “She's fine, she's collecting herself.”

"We're still working on the nicknames," She shrugged. Clarke didn't know what to say so she just nodded, “What happens now?”

“Now we party,” Anya smirks, tugging Clarke up by the hand, “Please tell me you're going to wear something hotter than your pyjamas for _that._ ”

Clarke laughed, grabbing up her gifts and walking backwards towards the doors so she could keep her eyes on Anya while she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, “Oh baby, you're about to get burned.”

  
  


\- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

  
  


So Clarke wore the sluttiest dress she could find and she brushed her hair and she put on some make up and she smirked when Lexa, Anya and Raven simultaneously looked her up and down with impressed looks on each of their faces.

The street party was by far the funniest thing Clarke had ever attended. The music turned out to be locals turning out folksy turns on interesting looking instruments that were easy to dance to. And that's what Clarke spent the majority of her afternoon doing, dancing and laughing with Raven and Anya. The food was barbecue like and delicious and Clarke ate so much her stomach hurt. There was cider and sweet wine that got them tipsy. And sparkling lights when the sky got dark that were beautiful. Everyone was happy and celebrating and the joyful bustle of the locals having a great time was contagious.

It all got too much when she noticed Lexa's eyes on while she was happily buzzed and dancing with Raven. It wasn't the first time she'd noticed, Lexa's eyes had been following her all night but it suddenly felt real. And she was overwhelmed and she was confused. She'd been enjoying herself. This life – friends, joy, _love –_ but it didn't feel like it was really hers, it felt borrowed. There was a sinking feeling in her gut. Was this really going to last? Because this life, this life with Lexa filled with laughter and happiness was something she could get use to. Something she could cherish and it felt too good. It couldn't possibly be something she could hold onto because she was Clarke Griffin, expendable and with no home. She wasn't a queen. So she waited until no one was looking and slipped into one of the empty buildings. She could still hear the music and people happily laughing and chatting but she was removed from it. She lent against the wall and caught her breath.

Except of course people noticed because she was _important_ here and it showed when just moments after she slipped away, Anya was in the doorway.

“Sky Girl?” Anya asked, keeping her distance. Sensing something was wrong.

“It's too much,” Clarke shrugged, tears welling in her eyes, “I...I'm so happy here but I...why would Lexa give me this life? I don't deserve it.”

“You're drunk and overwhelmed,” Anya rolled her eyes, “I don't know about _deserve_ , it's different on the ground. We just have what we've got and we appreciate it because it might be gone tomorrow. But this life? Lexa _loves you_ , Clarke.”

Clarke shrugs, she doesn't know what to say. She already knew Lexa had feelings for her. That much was obvious but hearing Anya say it felt kind of final.

When Lexa appeared behind Anya with worried eyes Anya smiled, “I'll leave you guys to it.”

“Anya-”

“What?” Anya chuckled, “Still scared she's going to shave your head if you're left alone with her?”

Clarke bit her lip, “No. I just- Thank you, for being my friend.”

The gagging sounds Anya made were expected and made her giggle and then she was alone with Lexa. And Lexa was in front of her. And Lexa was wiping away her tears without questioning them. And Lexa was smiling that soft smile that made her really _feel_ like Lexa loved her.

“Dance?” Lexa whispered, holding out her hand and Clarke nodded. Smiling dumbly as she took it and let her body fall into Lexa's.

And they didn't need anymore words in that moment, they just gentle swayed to the music, hidden from everyone else's eyes.

\- - - - - - - - - -

She hovered awkwardly for a while outside Lexa's bedroom that night. She wasn't tipsy anymore. Eventually she worked up the courage and knocked gently and she held her breath until the door was open. Revealing Lexa – who was in her own pyjamas. Lexa stepped out the way immediately, letting Clarke into her space and Clarke walked in looking at everything in Lexa's bedroom so that she didn't have to look at Lexa. She felt a sense of calm and belonging with Lexa so readily letting her into her space.

“Hi,” She breathed out once her nerves were settled, “I just wanted to say thank you for tonight.”

Lexa's eyes were searching her face but she was still paying attention. Clarke smiled, she always seemed to hold all of Lexa's attention.

“I brought you these,” Clarke said, handing over the wooden box containing taffy, “Anya said they're your favorite.”

A smile spread over Lexa's face once she realized what she'd been given and she gave Clarke's hand a brief squeeze. Lexa glanced down at her lips and for a moment Clarke thought Lexa was going to kiss her. A moment that was ruined by Aya.

“Lexa we need to – Clarke?” Anya looked taken aback, stepping into the room with a confused expression. Eye's dropping to their join hands until Clarke pulled away, “What are you doing in here?”

“I was...what?” Clarke narrowed her eye when a smirk took over Anya's face.

“Were you guys going to fuck?”

Clarke rolled her eyes and let out a huff, “Yes, Anya. I was just going to thank Lexa for tonight by sitting on her face for a few hours but now you've completely killed my 'face sitting' mood.”

“Hot,” Anya clicked her tongue before turning to Lexa, “Em's na teik wan op taim em get.” _She's going to die when she knows._

“Chof, Onya,” _Thanks, Anya._ Lexa laughs and Clarke liked that sound. _A lot._

“I need to talk to your woman so you mind waiting for a bit before her face is buried in your cunt?” Anya asked with an eyebrow raise.

“Do you have to be so- ugh, I guess I started it,” Clarke shakes her head, “I'm going to bed,” She glanced at Lexa, “Reshop, Heda.”

“Reshop, Klark.”

She heard on her way out.

\- - - - - - - - - - -

Clearly this was ridiculous. Clearly she was out of her mind. Clearly alcohol had weakened her mind from being reasonable. Because why else would this _forced_ marriage be starting to grow on her. No. She did not want it. She hadn't been asked, so she _shouldn't_ be happy about it. She _wasn't_ happy about it. It was stupid. They didn't even know each other. Lexa wasn't in love with her. Lexa just really appreciated her _body_ and it was about time she had it out with Lexa and let her know that this was a _stupid_ idea.

She pushed open the doors to Lexa's bedroom. She didn't care if she was allowed or not. Lexa was going to be her Wife _apparently_ so she could damn well bust into her future Wife's bedroom, unannounced, if she so chose to. Luckily Lexa wasn't still sleeping, she was...meditating? Something. Sitting cross legged at the end of her bed but once Clarke was in front of her she opened her eyes and fixed all of her concentration on Clarke.

“I'm pissed, Lexa! You're not going to understand a fucking thing I'm about to say but I need to rant and since you're going to be my fucking _Wife,_ you might as well start practicing now because it'll happen a lot,” Clarke started, pacing up and down in front of Lexa's bed, “I'm fucking...I'm mad and I'm confused, I don't fucking _get_ you! You've never even tried to kiss me and now you wanna _marry_ me? How fucked up is that?” Clarke's licked her lips, “And I mean, yeah, I've noticed you staring at my tits. Course I've noticed, you're _always_ staring at them but if you wanted to fuck me couldn't you of, I don't fucking know...What's the Trikru version of a date? Asked if we could build a fucking canoe together or...or I don't know, kill a fucking spy or poke each other with swords, probably? Not _get married_! And what the hell happens on our wedding night, Lexa? We have sex and while I'm saying 'wrong fucking hole', you _think_ I'm telling you ' fuck yeah, baby, do that again'?” Clarke shook her head, “And this isn't because you aren't attractive, you _know_ you're attractive. You're obviously fucking beautiful, Lexa. Ten out of fucking ten, total fucking babe but _come on_! Are you seriously going to base us getting married on the fact that you like my fucking tits?”

By the end she was out of breath and panting but she felt better. And Lexa was staring at her intensely, perhaps with a flicker of annoyance. Once it was clear she was finished Lexa got up from the bed, standing directly in front of Clarke to make sure the blonde had her full attention.

“Although your _tits_ are indeed, quite wonderful,” Lexa licked her lips, gaze dipping to Clarke's cleavage for half a second, “I don't want to _fuck_ you, Clarke, I want to keep you safe.”


	4. Somewhere To Belong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING.  
> This chapter contains flashbacks of rape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did everyone have a good Halloween?  
> Thank you for all your responses!  
> Hopefully you guys like this chapter.

**4\. Somewhere To Belong**

“ _I'm pissed, Lexa! You're not going to understand a fucking thing I'm about to say but I need to rant and since you're going to be my fucking Wife, you might as well start practicing now because it'll happen a lot,” Clarke started, pacing up and down in front of Lexa's bed, “I'm fucking...I'm mad and I'm confused, I don't fucking get you! You've never even tried to kiss me and now you wanna marry me? How fucked up is that?” Clarke's licked her lips, “And I mean, yeah, I've noticed you staring at my tits. Course I've noticed, you're always staring at them but if you wanted to fuck me couldn't you of, I don't fucking know...What's the Trikru version of a date? Asked me to build a fucking canoe together or...or I don't know, kill a fucking spy or poke each other with swords, probably? Not get married! And what the hell happens on our wedding night, Lexa? We have sex and while I'm saying 'wrong fucking hole', you think I'm telling you ' fuck yeah, baby, do that again'?” Clarke shook her head, “And this isn't because you aren't attractive, you know you're attractive. You're obviously fucking beautiful, Lexa. Ten out of fucking ten, total fucking babe but come on! Are you seriously going to base us getting married on the fact that you like my fucking tits?”_

_By the end she was out of breath and panting but she felt better. And Lexa was staring at her intensely, perhaps with a flicker of annoyance. Once it was clear she was finished Lexa got up from the bed, standing directly in front of Clarke to make sure the blonde had her full attention._

“ _Although your tits are indeed, quite wonderful,” Lexa licked her lips, gaze dipping to Clarke's cleavage for half a second, “I don't want to fuck you, Clarke, I want to keep you safe.”_

And with that Lexa turned and headed for her bathroom, leaving Clarke's jaw on the floor as she did so.

“Holy fucking shit.”

What the fuck? Lexa spoke English? A million thoughts ran through Clarke's mind but most of all trying to recall every single thing she'd said to or in front of the brunette under the false notions that the Lexa _couldn't fucking understand her_. Well, if Lexa seriously thought that she was going to get away with hiding in her bathroom then she had another thing coming. Clarke picked her jaw up off the floor.

But not for long because as soon as she entered the bathroom – and offhand ' _wait, you don't wanna fuck me?'_ slipping from her mouth as she went _-_ she was faced with Lexa, very naked, very in the tub. Oh. And _of fucking course_ Lexa was gorgeous without clothes. Her skin warm from the sun of the summer. Her curves feminine and her muscles visible but soft. She squeezed her eyes shut quickly once she realized she was _full on ogling_ Lexa. _Fuck._

“We're getting married tomorrow, Clarke,” Lexa said, a hint of amusement in her voice, “I think you're allowed to see me like this.”

Clarke nodded dumbly before a happy compromise struck her, she grabbed the chair from the corner of the room, setting it against the tub and sitting down, swinging her bare legs into the warm water. It did feel good.

“Wait, tomorrow?”

Lexa nodded, “I want it done so it can't be stopped.”

Clarke crinkled her nose, desperately trying to keep her eyes on Lexa's face, “You're so romantic with me.”

Lexa pursed her lips but said nothing.

“Let's start with the English, shall we?” Digging her toes into Lexa's thigh, making the brunette laugh.

“Of course, anything you'd like,” Lexa smiled, “It was a necessity at first, after that Anya found it rather hilarious and I quite liked you cussing at me.”

“Why was it a necessity?”

“Trigedasleng is the language of my people, it's rude to speak English with strangers. English is the language of the mountain after all,” Lexa explained, “And when you told us your story the language barrier was the perfect opportunity to see if you were telling the truth.”

“I called you an asshole,” Clarke mused, “And I told you to go fuck yourself.”

“I'm aware,” Lexa laughed.

“Not funny,” Clarke groaned, splashing the water up at Lexa but only getting a laugh in return, “I said _so_ much that I wouldn't usually-”

“Clarke,” Lexa cut her off with a smile and a hand to her knee, “None of the things you said, embarrassing as they were, make me think any less of you...the opposite in fact.”

Clarke smiled, she could feel the blush coming to her cheeks before realization hit her and her face dropped, “Fuck! I said shit about...” _Finn_ , “ _Him._ Lexa, it's not what you think – let me explain!”

Lexa pursed her lips, eyeing the blonde's pleading eyes, “It is exactly what I think, Clarke.”

“No,” Clarke shook her head, for some reason it was very important to her that her nearly-Wife didn't think she was a slut, “Please, I wasn't just fucking someone else's boyfriend, it wasn't like that. I-”

“That's what you think I think?” Lexa narrowed yes watching Clarke nod and swallow thickly. She grabbed Clarke's hand, tugging and pulling Clarke on top of her with a splash. Clarke spluttered for a few seconds before realizing she was actually quite comfy in Lexa's lap, even if her pyjama's were wet now. Lexa waited for Clarke's eyes to find hers before she started to talk, “I _know_ what happened, why do you think I stopped you from telling me about it after he showed up on that radio?”

Clarke frowned, thinking for a few seconds. She remembered being pretty put out by Lexa shushing her, “You didn't want me to tell you details when I thought you wouldn't understand.”

Lexa nodded, “I just wanted it to be for the right reasons when- _if_ you told me about it.”

“Why do you want to marry me, Lexa?” Clarke asked after a long, thoughtful moment.

“I have a few reasons, I'd like to tell you the most selfish reason first,” Lexa tipped her head, waiting for Clarke's eyes before continuing, “It has to do with Azgeda, before the coalition. I had someone and she was special to me.”

Clarke's eyebrows furrowed, “Did you love her?”

Lexa shook her head no, “But I could've. Back then the Azgeda didn't want to join the coalition, they fancied the Commander as one of their own. So they sent a daughter.”

“And she-”

“Yes. Costia. The daughter of the Azplana....the _Azgeda Queen_ ,” Lexa said, “This isn't exactly relevant but for my own story it is. I let her into my bed, I...could've loved her and she was a spy sent to kill me.”

“What happened?”

Lexa's lips drew into a thin line, “I killed her. I killed her Mother. And I made her Brother king. Roan is a good friend, actually and a much better leader.”

“Is this where you kill me in your bathwater?” Clarke blinked heavily.

“No,” Lexa chuckled, “Like I said, hardly relevant but after Costia something was missing, something was lost and I couldn't find it. Clarke, the moment I saw you, I found it.”

“What was it?” Clarke whispered, searching green eyes.

“My heart,” Lexa shrugged, “I'd locked it away after Costia but then...I can't explain it but you're my soul mate, I just _know_. And you don't have to love me back or stay with me forever but if I don't do everything in my power to keep you safe then I'm afraid I'll lose my heart again. Do understand?”

“Being married to you is going to keep me safe?” Clarke asked.

“Yes,” Lexa answered with a firm, confident nod, “Being married to me gives you protection and power and family.”

“Family?”

“Remember what you told me? About belonging?” Lexa questioned with a head tilt.

“ _I'm scared, Lexa...I've always wanted to belong...I've just never felt like I had a home...Somewhere I just fit, that I'm wanted and loved.”_

Clarke nodded, she remembered her tear stained confessions, let out in the safety of Lexa's arms.

“The things you said touched me,” Lexa said gently, ducking her head to catch Clarke's eye, “I want to give you all of those things.”

Clarke bit her lip, tears threatening to spill. There was noting but sincerity in Lexa's eyes and Clarke did feel all of those things in that moment.

Lexa pushed on, “I know that what Kane said didn't sound right to you, Clarke.”

Clarke nodded for her to continue, she was right. _Clarke is yours_.

“It's because he got it wrong,” Lexa whispered, “It's the other way around, I'm forever yours. And not because of this marriage. I was yours the moment I laid eyes on you.”

It was the final punch she needed for the tears to come at full force and she let them – clinging to Lexa like a lifeline.

“Because you _just knew_?” Clarke asked, her voice wet. A smile gracing her face at Lexa's firm nod, “Can we get out of the bath now?”

Lexa didn't say anything, she just scooped Clarke up and stood with ease. Stepping out of the water and setting Clarke down on her feet, offering her a towel and respectfully turning away when she took it. Clarke stripped herself and wrapped the towel around her body as she made her way to Lexa's draws. Lexa was going to be her Wife so Lexa could share her clothes, Clarke decided. She pulled on some shorts and a baggy shirt and laid down on the bed. Taking deep breaths to calm her tears as she waited for Lexa.

The brunette wasn't far behind. Having dressed in the bathroom she just laid down next to Clarke, turning on her side so they were facing each other. And neither saying anything for a while. Just taking each other in.

“I want it to be real,” Clarke whispered, the truth of the statement hitting her hard as the words left her mouth, “You and me, _us_.”

Lexa licked her lips, emotions stirring deep in those green eyes, “We can be anything you want us to be. You are in charge here, Clarke. You get to decide how things go.”

“You'd be okay with me leaving you then? Once we're married,” Clarke asked.

Why hadn't Clarke noticed how easy Lexa's emotions were to read before now? One look in her eyes and you could read her like a damn book. They turned darker.

“I wouldn't be...pleased,” Lexa picked her words out carefully, “But I'd give you anything you wanted.”

“What about sex?” Clarke tilted her head, a smiled coming to her face when she saw Lexa's eyes dip to her chest for half a second, “You said you didn't want to fuck me so do you want a sexless marriage?”

“Perhaps I misspoke, I'd like to replace the word 'want' for 'need',” Lexa's voice had dropped an octave. Clarke liked it, being able to turn Lexa on just by saying the word _fuck_.

“So you don't _need_ to fuck me but you _want_ to?” Clarke teased, watching that jaw tighten and Lexa's nodded furiously.

“I want to be together with you, Lexa,” Clarke tucked a stray lock of hair behind Lexa's ear and didn't miss the was Lexa's eyes fluttered closed when her fingertips brushed Lexa's cheekbone, “I want to be in love with you and tomorrow when I say 'I do', I'm going to mean it.”

Lexa took in a sharp breath, her eyes falling closed for a few seconds, her words coming out as a whisper, “Thank you.”

“Do we even say I do's?” Clarke wrinkled her nose, “What are the wedding traditions here?”

Lexa shook her head and cleared her throat, “We stand in front of people and we're bound. Some people exchange rings or jewelry, some matching tattoos. Whatever you want.”

“Can we get rings?” Clarke asked and Lexa nodded, Clarke thought for a moment, “Tattoos sound good too but...I wanna pick them. Do they have to be matching or can they just be connecting to one another?”

“Anything you wish,” Lexa smiled, “Is there anything from Sky Crew traditions you'd like to include?”

Clarke shook her head, “The only thing I liked the sound of when I was a kid was the vows, they were like promises people would make to each other. 'I promise to shave my nuts if you promise to stop picking your nose'. That kind of thing.”

Lexa let out a laugh, “But you don't wish to include them?”

“They're Sky Crew traditions,” Clarke shrugged, “I don't feel like I'm much Sky Crew anymore.”

“Then what are you?”

“Ai laik Klark kom Leksa kom Trikru?” _I am Clarke from Lexa from Tree Crew._ Clarke whispered. Lexa smiled, pinching Clarke's cheek.

“You can be Klark kom Leksa if you wish,” Lexa grinned.

“Good,” Clarke nodded, placing her mouth close to Lexa's ear, “And after we get married I'm going to _fuck_ you.”

When she pulled away Lexa had wide, dark eyes and the brunette licked her lips.

“I need you to stop saying 'fuck',” Lexa swallowed, “Especially if I'm not allowed to do anything about it.”

Clarke giggled, “I don't think we should wait if we both want to...but I want to keep talking.”

Lexa nodded, “Then I need to talk about something other than marrying you.”

That made Clarke grin, her future Wife was _so_ into her, “Then let's talk about the instant-boner-killer also known as Anya. Why do I need a babysitter?”

“Babysitter?” Lexa frowned.

“She's always calling herself that,” Clarke shrugged.

“She's actually your body guard,” Lexa smiled in amusement.

“That's so cool,” Clarke sat up in excitement, “Does that mean I get to boss her around?”

“You can try,” Lexa laughs, “But Anya's never taken kindly to authority.”

“Still,” Clarke shrugged.

Her mind was going about a million miles an hour. Things were moving so quickly, just over a month ago she was locked up in space and now she was on the ground getting _married_ to someone that seemed to love her more than anything else. The scariest part was that she wasn't scared. She was _excited_. The more open she was to letting herself _feel_ for Lexa the more she felt and she realized she'd actually liked Lexa for a while now. Maybe she hadn't instantly fallen in love with her but she _had_ felt an instant connection. She had felt close with Lexa, close enough to share her deepest worries and she'd thought it'd been because Lexa _didn't_ understand but it wasn't. I was because Lexa made her feel okay. Made her feel like she'd share her burdens. Made her feel like she _mattered._ And she was definitely attracted to Lexa. Lexa was _beautiful_ after all. Maybe she _did_ love her already. Lexa made her feel safe, loved and important and Lexa was gorgeous. That was enough, wasn't it?

“I was going to end it,” Clarke whispered, picking at a loose thread of blanket. When Lexa didn't reply she took a glance at the brunette to find her listening intently with a scared look in her eyes, “I decided that when the Ark comes down, when _he_ comes down that I didn't want to be here anymore.”

“But?” Lexa's voice was unsteady.

“But,” Clarke let out a deep breath, “You'd never let anyone hurt me. Not if you can help it. So maybe...maybe I'm not quite as done here as I thought.”

The sudden tug of her body startled her but she relaxed when she realized Lexa's intentions to hold her close. The brunette's face buried in her hair and arm circling her waist in a way that was tight enough to be comforting but not too much.

“What did he do to you, Clarke?” Lexa whispered and Clarke was sure she felt wetness on the ear Lexa's face was pressed against.

“He hurt me,” Clarke said matter of factly, she wasn't going to cry over this anymore and Lexa seemed to be doing it for the both of them anyway.

“Will you tell me about it?” Lexa requested, “You don't have to but I...”

“It's okay,” Clarke shushed her, combing her fingers through brunette locks, “I'd been in lock up for six months before I was allowed time out to see the other prisoners and he... _Finn_ was one of them,” She pulled in a deep breath, “He'd flirt with me and I kinda enjoyed it, the attention. But I...I never wanted to...He bought off the guards, he gave them the things he'd owned before he was locked up so that he could...They'd let him into the showered when it was my day to be in there.”

She felt Lexa's arms tighten their hold around her and she knew Lexa could _feel_ it, feel her pain.

“I though it was a joke...”

**_Flashback_ **

“ _Get out!” She laughed, “I'm naked!”_

“ _That's the point, Princess,” He smirked, eyes moving over her body._

“ _Finn! You'll get caught, the guards are right outside.”_

_He didn't leave, just stepped forward from where he'd been leaning against the cubical door, pulling his shirt off on his way. Her heart sank._

“ _What are you doing?” She hissed, “The guards-”_

“ _Won't bother us,” He grinned, “I made a deal with them so that we could have some alone time.”_

“ _I-”_

_His hands were on her before she could finish, fingers digging into her sides. She tried to pull away but because of the arm that was cuffed above her – as was customary for shower time – all she could do was wiggle in his embrace. His hands were everywhere, her sides, her hips, her ass, her thighs._

“ _Get off me!” She spat and his fist connected with her face. She spat blood._

_His hand came up, cupping her cheek in what would've been a loving gesture if she'd wanted it. His other hand cupping her sex._

_His face hovering near hers, “I'm sorry, Princess. I didn't mean to get rough. I just get crazy when I'm with you.”_

“ _Get your hands off me, Finn,” She growled, “This isn't funny.”_

“ _Don't play hand to get,” His voice turned harsh, the look in his eyes menacing and the hand cupping her cheek running downwards, fingers gripping at her throat, “I've seen the way you look at me, I know you want it.”_

_The hand round her throat squeezed so she couldn't of replied if she'd wanted to and his body slipped behind her._

“ _Fuck,” He grunted as she felt something blunt press against her thigh._

_She tried to scream but she could hardly breath. In one swift movement he was inside her, sending a searing pain through her. The hand on her throat eased and that arm slipped around her waist for more stability._

_"You're hurting me!" She cried out, voice hoarse, tears flooding from her eyes, “I don't want this!”_

“ _Yes you do,” He hissed, rocking his hips in short, punishing thrusts, “You fucking love it, slut.”_

“ _No,” She cried, doing everything to pull her body away but it only got her to the point where she was pressed between the wall and his body._

“ _So fucking tight,” He grunted, thrusts getting shorter, “Fuck, Princess, don't you feel nau-naughty? Mm, fucking me during your show-wer time like- fuck! Like a slut?”_

“ _Please stop!” She begged but her voice was so hoarse and her throat was so raw from crying that barely any sound came out._

“ _You're- oh fuck, you're so hot- fuck!” He stiffened and grunted, sounding inhuman and she knew he'd come. He practically lay on her back, panting for a few minutes while she cried before pulling out._

_She could see his face again but she didn't want to._

“ _That was so good, Princess,” He smiled and he looked completely normal, just like he did when he'd told her he'd swiped her a stick of gum or asked her what she'd drawn that day, he pressed a kiss to her lips, “We'll get some more time together soon, okay?”_

_What? There was going to be more of this? She didn't understand. How could he act so normal? Did she really act like she wanted it? Like this was welcome? His lips were on hers again, kissing her like she was his to kiss._

“ _I better go before anyone sees but uh,” He smiled lopsidedly, “Thanks for this, you were incredible.”_

**_End Of Flashback_ **

“Then he walked out,” Clarke finished with a whisper.

The air was tense and there was a pregnant pause before Lexa moved, bringing her face out of Clarke's curls and pressing their foreheads together. Eye's swimming.

“I'm _so_ sorry, Clarke. I-” She shuddered, her breath fanning over Clarke's mouth, “I _promise_ no ones ever going to- That doesn't even make it better. I want to make it better.”

“You are,” Clarke shrugged and it was true. Lexa _was_ making it better. Lexa thought she was worth s _omething,_ Lexa thought she was worth _a lot_ , “You make it better.”

“Did it happen more than once?” Lexa asked, shaking her head when Clarke nodded, “Was he your...” _First_.

The sentence was left unfinished but Clarke understood, “No. Not my first...but he was my last so if you'd like to change that then...”

Lexa met her with an uncertain gaze. Maybe Lexa didn't want her now, maybe she was damaged goods.

“I'll understand if you don't want me anymore, Lexa but if you do,” She licked her lips, “I'm ready for you to be my last, _ever.”_

“I'll always want you, Clarke,” Lexa breathed out, “You're my _only_.”

This was getting heavy and Clarke was getting uncomfortable.

“Cool so if you could just fuck me then, I'm not into being tied up for obvious reasons and I'm pretty sure I've got a kink for horses now but I'm up for trying anal so...” Her face morphed into a lopsided smile when she heard Lexa laugh.

“Must you always be so crass, Clarke?” She laughed, “Klark kom Leksa, unable to keep things too serious with her filthy mouth.”

“Leksa kom Trikru,” Clarke teased, “Unable to tell when she should just shut up and kiss a bitch-”

And Lexa did. And Clarke felt on fire.

Lips slanted over hers, the perfect pressure for this moment, somewhere in-between gentle and dominant. Lexa was a _good_ kisser. And Clarke felt like she'd been kissing Lexa all her life. She kept up beautifully with the steady push and pull Lexa was giving her, the changes of angle. The emotion poured into it.

This time when Lexa changed the angle, Clarke used it as an excuse to pull back and push Lexa's shoulders until she was on top – straddling the brunette. She looked down at Lexa's wide eyes and smirked.

“I'm going to ride your fingers, any complaints?” She quirked an eyebrow in amusement.

Lexa's eyes fluttered shut before she lent up on her elbows, bringing their faces close, “While I love your playful side and I'm not surprised to see it continued in the bedroom...would you mind if...”

Lexa's eyes fell, looking less confident than before. Clarke used the hand she had on Lexa's jaw to tilt Lexa's face up to hers.

“You can ask for things, Lexa,” She nudged Lexa's face with her nose, “I want you to have a good time too.”

Lexa nodded in understanding, pressing a quick, gentle kiss to Clarke's lips, “Maybe it could be romantic the first time? And then you can tease me as much as you like?”

Clarke smirked, rolling her eyes. Of course Lexa would want the romance. Lexa _was_ romance. She nodded, flopping back onto the bed, “You're going to have to take the lead with this one then.”

Lexa nodded dutifully, like she took the responsibility very seriously.

And then she was kissing Clarke. Kissing her like she'd never been kissed before. Like she was the only thing Lexa _ever_ wanted to kiss. And Lexa was undressing them. And it wasn't awkward. It wasn't the hurried, messy stripping she was use to during these encounters. No. Lexa was undressing her like she was precious, taking her time to appreciate every new bit of skin as it was revealed.

Lexa was calling her 'beautiful' and looking at her with love. And Lexa's fingers were drawing patterns into her skin, lighting her on fire. Lexa's hand ending up splayed over her breast, fingers brushing over a nipple and making her moan. Lexa's thigh wedged between her legs had Clarke's hips bucking into it.

Lexa's fingers joining the thigh moments later as Lexa's lips latched. And Lexa was building her with soft, skilled fingers and she'd _never_ felt this good. And when Lexa filled her she pulled Lexa's mouth back to hers so she could let out silent gasps into Lexa's mouth. And she was coming around Lexa's fingers embarrassingly quickly but Lexa didn't seem to mind. And she couldn't even remember how to talk except for a little chant of Lexa's name as she came.

And Lexa was kissing her again, stroking their tongues together as she came down from her high. And before she realised it Lexa was sliding down her body and pulling her to even greater heights with a skilled tongue. And _fuck_ was she not prepared for how good that felt. And _Jesus_ how the hell was Lexa able to make her come so easily and so _hard_. And _more than once_.

And Lexa was kissing up her body, making her practically _hum._

“Was that okay?” Lexa asked, pressing a kiss to Clarke's cheek.

“No, that was crap,” She giggled, feeling weightless, “You're the worst.”

Lexa let out a little laugh, the breath fanning over Clarke's lip.

“I think you're going to have to practice,” Clarke smirked.

“Is that so?” Lexa asked, eyebrow raised in amusement. Her fingers dancing over Clarke's breast.

“Mhm,” Clarke bit her lip, trying to hold back her grin, “I think you should practice daily to try to get better.”

“I'll be sure to,” Lexa nodded, eye's full of love and amusement, palm smoothing from between Clarke's breast downward, “Perhaps I should start now?”

Clarke's eyebrows rose in surprise, “Jesus, Lexa. How many times do you think I can come?”

“I don't know,” Lexa shrugged, a naughty smile coming to her lips as her green eyes moved over Clarke's chest, “But I wouldn't mind finding out.”

“ _Oh fuck me,_ ” Clarke said incredulously.

“Okay,” Lexa laughed, hand falling between Clarke's legs.

“Not what I meant but,” She bit her lip and nodded, “Fuck me this time though.”

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“This is nice,” Clarke murmured, nipping the underside of Lexa's breast.

And it really was. She'd woken up with kisses being pressed against her chest. Lexa _really_ did like her boobs. And after they'd teased each other into shattering climaxes, Clarke had collapsed onto Lexa's chest and that's where she'd stayed. Straddling the brunette. Every inch of their naked skin pressing deliriously. Her face resting between Lexa's breasts and Lexa stroking her spine with one hand, the other combing her hair.

“It is,” Lexa agreed with a nod, “Are you ready to marry me today?”

She rolled her head, resting her chin resting on Lexa and sending her a lazy smile, “I am.”

“You're even more beautiful like this,” Lexa's eyes searched her face, fingers brushing her cheeks and stroking through her messy hair, “I didn't think it was possible.”

“Like this as in naked for you?” Clarke smirked, eyebrow raised.

“No,” Lexa laughed, “ _Yes_ but no...I like your bed hair and you've been smiling a lot.”

“I'm happy,” Clarke shrugged.

“Then I hope you're happy for a long time, Clarke,” Lexa gave her a genuine smile before her expression turned teasing, “You know, Anya and I can finally discuss the colour of your pubes now that we're both informed.”

“Oh my God!” Clarke's mouth fell open, “If you want to carry on being _informed_ then you better not mention Anya in _our_ bed ever again!”

“I'd very much like to remain informed,” Lexa said with a nod.

“I know,” Clarke smiled, “You're pretty obsessed with my tits too.”

“They're easy to obsess over,” Lexa shrugged, leaning in for a kiss.

“Lex- holy fuck buckets!”

Clarke turned – just her head, since if she turned her body then her chest would be exposed and Anya wasn't _that_ lucky – to see a wide eyed Anya staring at them from the door. Lexa sat up quickly, making sure their fronts remained pressed together.

“Onya!” Lexa growled.

“ _Shit_ ,” Anya at least had the decency to look _slightly_ apologetic, “I'll uh...leave you guys to it.”

“Wait!” Clarke said, making Anya pause. She grabbed her shirt from the floor, slipping it on and getting out of bed, “I actually need your help.”

Anya eyed her suspiciously, “With what?”

“It's kinda obvious that we had sex last night,” Clarke shrugged, glancing back at Lexa, “But with the language barrier things didn't run very smoothly so I was hoping you'd maybe have a talk with Lexa for me?”

“You- What?” Anya's eyes widened, “You want me to have a talk with Lexa about...this?” Her hand flew wildly between them.

“Well yeah,” Clarke nodded, “Lexa has some really weird kinks that I'm not on board with and since she doesn't understand anything I'm saying, I thought you could help me out.”

“Weird kinks?” Anya's face screwed up in disgust.

“It started when she did this really weird naked dance for me with scarves,” Clarke smiled.

“Scarves?” Anya said, looking more disgusted every time she spoke.

“Then she used whip cream as a lubricant so I'm pretty sure I'm going to get a yeast infection-”

“What the fuck?!”

“And _then_ she shoved her toothbrush up my ass so-”

“Ew, ew, ew, ew, no! Just _stop talking_!” Anya's voice rose a couple of octaves, “Look, Clarke, as much as I have invested in you and Lexa's sex life – which by the way, if I'm rounding up is literally _no investment whatsoever –_ if your Wife wants to shove a toothbrush up your ass then maybe you should just go ahead and find something _bigger_ to shove up hers!”

“Oh, I did,” Clarke smirked, “Your hairbrush.”

“ _What_?!”

“You've had your fun, Clarke,” Lexa shook her head with a smile planted on her face, “We don't want poor Anya to have a heart attack”

Anya looks puzzled for a moment, narrowed eyes flitting between them until the pieces clicked together, “You're both assholes.”

Clarke simply shrugged, throwing herself back on the bed with a giggle.

“What was it you wanted to tell me?” Lexa asked.

“Just that you're getting married in two hours so you should probably get a move on,” Anya scowled, storming out of the room.

\- - - - - - - -

The ceremony was small, Clarke suspected it was for her benefit.

She'd gotten ready in her room with Anya and Raven, Anya practically forcing her into a dress because _'otherwise your wife isn't going to be distracted enough by your curves to go through with marry you despite your awful personality'_ according to Anya, while Raven fussed with her hair - _'when did you last wash this, Griff?' -_ and honestly, her friends were _charming_. Even if she thought the sweeping blue make-up was a little too much.

Still, she didn't feel overdressed when she entered the throne room and saw Lexa in similar attire. And the genuine smile on Lexa's face definitely gave her more butterflies than she was willing to admit to.

The wedding wasn't that far away from what she was use to on the Ark. Anya, Raven, Lincoln and Indra attended. And her and Lexa stood at the front, opposite each other while the officiant, Titus, said things in Trigedasleng that Clarke didn't understand. It didn't matter much, she assumed it went something like 'you're getting married blah, blah, blah' anyway. Clarke was asked to accept Lexa as her _'houmon for life'_ at which she said a big, fat _'yes, yes, yes'_ and she though she could actually _see_ Lexa taking a sigh for relief.

They had to hold each others arms, Titus wrapping a ribbon around their wrists to _'bind'_ them to each other and Lexa lent in close, _'I don't know if this counts as a vow but here goes, Clarke Griffin you are without a doubt the most beautiful Goddess I have ever had the pleasure to look at and now I just want you to have my babies'_ and Clarke laughed so hard she _snorted_ but Lexa didn't looked like she minded.

When the ceremony seemed to be over and they'd been given rings – matching plain, gold bands that Clarke thought were simplistic in the most beautiful way – a thought stuck Clarke and she asked them to _'wait'_ , told them _'there's one more wedding tradition I want to include'_ and luckily Raven caught onto what she meant with a smirk and a _'you may now kiss the bride'_ and Clarke _jumped_ on Lexa, the brunette catching her easily with palms grabbing the undersides of Clarke's thighs – even if she had a confused look on her face – and Clarke just giggled before giving Lexa the wettest, least PG kiss she possibly could while in front of a crowd and Lexa didn't seem to mind that either.

And after a round of applause and some rather suggestive wolf whistling – _thanks, Anya –_ everyone made their way outside, onto the streets for _another_ street party and Clarke couldn't be happier. After getting the tattoos Clarke had picked – each others names in each others languages along the collarbones nearest to their hearts and had made Lexa look at her with that _soft_ look at the mere _suggestion_ \- she spent her night the same as the last one, eating, drinking, dancing and laughing. Only this time she did it with her rather lovely wife at her side. And after a few too many she did a double take because _'holy shit, my_ wife _'_ and she kept saying it while she looked at Lexa in wonder. And she repeated it for the rest of the night as she dragged Lexa upstairs so she could do some unsavory things to her that were _definitely_ not suitable for public.

\- - - - - - - -

Being married to Lexa made Clarke happy. Being married to Lexa gave her somewhere to belong. Lexa made sure of it.

It didn't take them long to work out some sort of routine. She'd still accompany Anya to Anya's _doings_ in the day time, only now it was after being woken up by soft kisses in Lexa's loving arms. And now Anya spent a few hours a day teaching her Trig. She still spent her evenings at the tavern with Anya, Raven and now Lincoln – who Clarke was quite fond of for his gentle but strong qualities and the fact he was just a really nice guy – only now she wasn't drinking to forget, she was just having a drink with _friends_. And now she went _home_ to her _wife._ Because she had a home now, a home _with_ her wife. _Lexa_ was home.

She also sometimes attended Lexa's meetings. Usually when Anya was busy or sometimes just because she missed Lexa throughout the day. Always in her spot by Lexa's legs and the brunette was always happy to see her. She wasn't really required to talk so she didn't usually pay much attention to what was being said during the meetings – especially as most of them were spoken in Trigedasleng – except for one time when Lexa was discussing something with Luna, the leader of the Floukru and she'd been asked _'what do you think of that idea?'_ and she realized that _maybe_ she should pay a little bit of attention but she _hadn't been_ so she just barred her teeth to her wife in a cheeky smile and replied with _'bitchin'_ and earnt herself a chuckle from Luna and a raised but amused eyebrow from Lexa. And as soon as they were alone again Lexa just _had_ to kiss her because she'd told the Floukru ambassador that the idea of giving the fishing folk 'seconds' to increase the catch was _'bitchin'_ and – as she'd told Lexa – that kiss was pretty bitchin' too, in her opinion. She learnt shortly after that not to call Lexa _'sexy Lexy'_ in meetings, no matter how much Anya laughed when she did.

There were a _few_ things she learnt quickly about being married to Lexa.

Lexa enjoyed Clarke's cheek and Clarke's sass but Lexa also liked to keep things as professional as possible so Clarke had to keep it subtle in front of most people, their friends not included – Clarke thought it was obvious that she could do whatever she liked in front of Anya because Anya _barely_ counted as a person anyway.

Lexa wasn't one for PDA, not that Clarke was. Lexa didn't like to be touched in front of her subjects but Lexa _always_ found a way to subtly pay attention to Clarke. A hand brushing hers when Lexa walked passed, fingers tracing her spine when she was in her spot, a wink thrown her way when she caught Lexa's eye in public or – Clarke's favorite – a pinch of her ass when Lexa could get away with it without anyone noticing.

Lexa also couldn't get enough of Clarke saying _'I love you'_. The first time she'd felt it was when they made love for the first time. When Lexa had been so loving and so gentle with her that she couldn't help a stray tear from leaking into her hair. The first time she'd really acknowledged it was when Lexa had surprised her with art supplies, paper and pencils after she'd mentioned to Lexa that she liked to draw a grand total of _once_. And she'd spend the rest of the day drawing, Lexa had sat by her, quietly, that evening. Doing nothing but watching her sketch Polis in the moonlight.

She knew she loved Lexa for sure when she and Lincoln had ended up in a rather heated shot competition – which she'd _absolutely_ won, by the way – and she'd hardly been able to walk home. She'd thrown up on Lexa the moment she'd entered their bedroom. And Lexa hadn't been mad. She'd gently led Clarke to the bathroom and soothingly cooed to her, fingers stroking her temples while she emptied the contents of her stomach. Putting her to bed afterwards with the amount of care reserved only for loved ones and holding her all night.

The first time she told Lexa she loved her, she meant it with all her heart.

Anya had swiped a bottle of spirits from the tavern the night before and they'd stowed away with Raven and Lexa in the forest, leaning against trees and swigging from the bottle as it was passed around. And Lexa had this pink hue on her cheeks that just made her _adorable_. And Lexa kept giggling with embarrassment as Anya told stories of when they were children. And Clarke loved her in that moment, she was so _real_ and so _Lexa_ and the Heda seemed to have vacated Lexa's body for the evening, leaving just a young woman having fun with her friends. So Clarke told her. And Lexa's mouth fell open in wonder and she looked at Clarke like she was _the moon_. And the moment sat heavily between them until their eye contact was broken by the sound of Anya gagging.

She told her again later, over and over again when they undressed and got tangled in each other. And she said it every day since. And Lexa was never less amazed by the notion that Clarke _actually_ loved her. And Lexa wanted to hear it _all the time_. So Clarke told her, _all the time._

Screaming it between the furs of their bed, mouthing it in person when they passed each other in the halls, whispering between meaningful kisses late at night or simply drawing a heart on her chest and pointing at Lexa from across the training grounds. She told her all the time.

\- - - - - - - - - -

They had a happy time until it wasn't.

She was out with Anya, hunting a few hours from Polis when the sky lit up orange and red and her and Anya watched with wide eyes as the Ark fell. It was split in two on the way down and Clarke recognized the piece of ship that was falling off course as the prison block.

And Clarke ran. She ran away from Anya and towards the prison block with only one though on her mind. _Octavia_.

She ran so fast her legs hurt. She ran so fast her lungs burned. The starting rain didn't even slow her. She ran until she was wet and filthy and her clothes were clinging to her. She ran until she could _see_ the fallen prison block. She could _see_ Octavia, unconscious on the ground. But she didn't make it there. She was stopped when a body grabbed her and there, in the pouring rain, she came face to face with her worst nightmare.

His face was dirty, blood smeared from a gash on his head down to his cheek and with that stupid smile that she'd found charming once upon a time.

And there was a long, pregnant pause filled with only her heavy breathing and the pelting rain before she stared running again. This time back the way she came. _Away_ from him. _What the hell had possessed her to come here without Anya?_

She ran faster when she realized he was chasing her, when she realized he was calling her name but she didn't stop. Her blood ran cold, from the freezing rain or from him, she wasn't sure. All she could focus on was the blood pumping loudly in her ears.

She realized she was crying too late and that was her first mistake. Her tears blurring her vision and she fell. Tripped over a tree root and rolling into the mud. A cry leaving her mouth when her shoulder connected harshly with the ground.

He was on her in an instant. Hips against her ass, pushing her down. Hands gripping her wrists.

“Why are you running from me? Aren't you happy to see me?”

“Get off me!” She snarled, using her weight to try to flip him off her but he was too strong and she felt a back hander to her face. The taste of blood filling her mouth.

“This is no way to greet me,” He hissed, holding both her wrists in one hand and she felt her pants being pushed down, passed her ass with his other.

 _No_. This was _not_ happening. She took a deep breath, drawing anger from the hand trying to spread her thighs and with one, sharp thrust of her hips she turned them sideways. His weight falling behind her and the change jostling him enough to let go of her wrists. Her fingers dug into the dirt. Grabbing something – _anything –_ that was hard, grabbing onto the first thing she found, which happened to be a rock. She thrust it behind her and then ran.

She assumed she caught him, the grunt of pain she herd behind her as she ran sounded like she had. And then she was tugging her pants back up and just trying to _get away_.

The second time she fell, she'd reached a clearing and she'd fallen in front of two pairs of legs. Anya, who looked bored while she snacked on some berries. And Lexa, who looked like her heart was in her throat. And Lexa was pulling her to her feet gently, green eyes searching her face, narrowing in on her bloodied lip and arms lovingly wrapping around her waist. Her breath coming out in hard pants across Lexa's lips.

“Clarke?” Lexa spoke softly, her name becoming a heavily loaded question.

But Clarke couldn't get her words out, her tears were still going strong. Lexa's fingertips finding the skin that'd been exposed at the small of her back grounded her somewhat but her head was spinning.

She must look like shit. Soaked like a drowned rat, covered in mud, split lip and what was probably a crazy look in her eye. She gripped the material of Lexa's shirt, squeezing hard. Lexa's green eyes shone with nothing but concern. Anya, one the other hand, looked absolutely _bored_ and continued shoving food into her mouth and Clarke frowned. _Because really Anya?_

Then Finn was behind her, the three of him clocking him as he shot out of the tree line. Watching him as his face turned from anger to confusion when he noticed the three. An innocent look on his face. His running slowed in front of them and Clarke gulped when she noticed the front of his pants were undone. Lexa would've noticed too, no doubt.

Lexa's arm was around her waist and she felt her front being pressed against Lexa's side. The arm keeping her close, keeping her safe and she clung to Lexa. Finn's eyes narrowing at them making her shake even more than she already was.

“Clarke? Who is that?” Finn's eye flicked towards Lexa, the boy stepping closer until he was within reach of them.

“My Wife is the Queen of Trigeda and you will address her as such,” Lexa spoke, voice calm and Clarke thanked her with a squeeze of her shoulder, she wouldn't of been able to form words in that moment even if she wanted to.

“ _Wife_?!” Finn spluttered, eyes widening.

“Yu gonplei stre odon, Finn kom Skaikru,” _Your fight is over._ The moment the words left Lexa's lips she'd pulled the dagger from her thigh with her free hand, up and across Finn's throat in one, fluid movement.

And Clarke watched the disbelief in his eyes as the blood poured from his throat. He was on the floor within seconds. Lexa didn't miss her mark.

And blue met green. Both of them ignoring Anya's, “For fuck sake, Lexa. I'm eating!” As the girl spat her latest mouthful of berries onto the forest floor.

And all Clarke could do was press a hard, desperate kiss to Lexa's lips in thanks. Thanks for keeping her safe. Thanks for protecting her. Thanks for _loving_ her.

And the world came into focus. Eyes, there were eyes everywhere. Fixed on the scene in front of them. Fixed on Lexa and her in an embrace. Fixed on the blood, dripping from the knife still at Lexa's side. Fixed on the boy – dead on the ground. And in the pouring rain she recognized the eyes that had watched it happened. That watched Lexa kill Finn. That watched Lexa kill Finn _for her_.

Abby, Kane, Pike, Bellamy, Octavia and more. But the eyes of Raven were by far the most heart breaking.

And then there was a scream. A scream of _'maunon'._ And everyone was running. And she'd lost Lexa. And she'd been knocked down. And then gas, a red gas making it hard to breath.

And then nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment, I'd love to hear more about what you guys think.
> 
> Also it'd be really great to here what some of your favorite fics are so if anyone wants to leave a link to their favorites then I'd love to check them out!


	5. Lost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all of you who've commented, left kudos and read.  
> I hope you're enjoying.

**5\. Lost**

She remembered the first time she'd seen Lexa kill a person. It was three persons, in fact. It was during a meeting between Lexa and her ambassadors. One of them questioning her leadership, challenging her. Anya had explained later to Clarke that when a challenge is issued it means one on one combat, Lexa against the challenger or someone chosen by the challenger. A fight to the death. But that particular ambassador hadn't stuck to the rules in place, as soon as the challenge was issued there were two warriors stalking towards the Commander, where she sat on her throne.

And Clarke had watched with wide eyes as Lexa stood, the back of her fingers stroking subtly against Clarke's cheeks before she drew the daggers she kept on her thighs. She watched as Anya looked on, unimpressed by the _absolutely impressive_ sight of Lexa quickly and efficiently taking down the two attackers. They were more than twice her size and prepared for the fight but Lexa destroyed them with the grace of a dancer and the skill of the Commander she was.

Lexa wasn't angry afterwards. Lexa wasn't anything but professional. She sheathed her daggers and asked the ambassador who issued the challenge to speak with her in private, waiting until he'd joined her on the balcony before her boot made contact with his stomach. His body falling with a whoosh and his scream still able to be heard as Lexa turned back to the room. _'Would anyone else like to question my decisions?'_ she'd asked, face stoic and voice as calm as it was when she spoke to the children.

Clarke hadn't known whether to vomit or swoon. She went for swoon in the end. She wasn't a stranger to death, people on the Ark got floated for nothing but she wasn't that comfortable with it. She knew that this was how it was on the ground, that it was harsh and difficult to survive. She knew that she'd come in the time of the most peace Trigeda had ever had and she was thankful. She was thankful that she didn't have to watch her Wife kill people on the daily but she also respected why Lexa was known as a ruthless but fair Commander.

And tucked into bed later than night, Lexa had held her close and whispered into her ear. And talked it through with Clarke, made sure Clarke wasn't too upset. Made sure Clarke _understood._ And Clarke _did_. Lexa ruled fairly. Lexa ruled her people with peace as much as possibly and it _was not_ her place to question Lexa's judgment no matter how much Lexa said it _was_.

And now. Now she _missed_ her.

Now she'd woken up in a cage, a metal cage that she couldn't stand up in. A metal cage surrounded by other metal cages, filled with people and she suddenly felt incredibly bad for all of the rodents people kept as pets before the so called end of the world. And she was cold and scared. And back in her fucking underwear. And she wanted Lexa. Her fingers absent-mindedly traced over the inked _Leksa_ under her collarbone and wondered if Lexa was doing the same to her _Clarke_.

Most of the people in the cages were 'grounders' as Raven would call them. Weak, hungry and done with life. The people in the cages closest to her were Sky Crew. Bellamy to her left, Octavia above her and more. It took a couple of hours before Bellamy was conscious though.

“Clarke?”

“Keep your voice down,” She whispered, pressing her back to his cage so their head were closer together.

“Finn, he – what happened? Where are we?”

“We're in the mountain,” Clarke replied, “They've...the mountain's been taking people forever, for as long as the stories go back but no one ever knew why.”

“Clarke?” He mumbled after pausing for a long time, “You...that women, she killed Finn right in front of you and you...did you _kiss_ her?”

Clarke's eyes squeezed shut, dread filling her stomach. She wasn't going to get away from those questions, she wasn't going to get away from people calling Lexa – _her Lexa –_ 'that woman' but perhaps she could avoid it for now, “Can we focus on getting out of here first, Bellamy?”

“Yeah,” His voice was less confused, “Yeah. We should. Uh-”

“I think they're using people for their blood,” Clarke explained, “For a while all I could see was the person hanging upside down but I started to focus and...see those tubes?”

“Fuck,” Bellamy breathed out. Maybe he hadn't noticed the young, pale woman hanging from the ceiling by her ankles - clearing unconscious - until now, “Harper.” _She must be Sky Crew_.

“They're pumping the blood into a different room,” Clarke continued, “And I was thinking, why do they need human blood? More specifically, human _grounder_ blood?”

“Why?”

“Radiation.” _Octavia_.

“Octavia!” Bellamy said, a little too loudly until Clarke shushed him, “Octavia, are you okay?”

“Never better,” The girl quipped, a lazy smile appearing on her face as her eyes focused on Clarke's, “These people can't survive radiation, can they?”

Clarke shook her head no, “That's my best guess.”

“God, it's good to see you.”

“Yeah,” Clarke agreed, tears springing to her eyes at the familiar smile of her oldest and dearest friend, “I've missed you, O.”

“You too, although you look like shit,” Octavia quipped.

Clarke couldn't help but chuckle, she _did_ look like shit. After sprinting in the heavy rain, getting pushing down into the mud, being gassed and then stripped of her clothes? She probably looked like _trash_ , “Can't argue with that.”

“What happened with Finn, Clarke?” Octavia asked, “He's dead, isn't he?”

“I-” She sighed, voice low, “Can I explain when we get out of here?"

“ _Clarke_ , everyone saw- and you kissed-”

“I know,” Clarke interrupted, “I know, O. I have...a lot of explaining to do but right now we're stuck here and the peace talks between Kane and Lexa are probably going to shit as we speak and all because of _me_.”

And although the Blake siblings were known for communicating with only their eyes, Clarke caught the look that passed between them.

“What?”

“It's nothing,” Bellamy said, shifting uncomfortably.

“It's not nothing, Bell-”

“Octavia-”

“No, Clarke needs to know,” Octavia cut her brother off, “Clarke, there was a protest before we came down. Pike didn't agree with joining the coalition and there were enough followers to force the council into another election vote.”

“Oh fuck,” Clarke's heart sank into her stomach, “Who...”

“Your Mom is the new Chancellor,” Bellamy added softly.

“Fuck,” Clarke groaned.

This was going to be absolutely terrible. Her Mom had made it perfectly clear that she didn't have any respect for Lexa or for the coalition already and without the peace negotiation...Clarke had no idea what could be happening out there. Darker thoughts of guns being pulled on her Lexa flashed through her mind before she swallowed them down. No. She wasn't going to think about it. She couldn't do anything until she was out of this place so that had to be her focus right now. An not everyone would be following her Mom, she knew there would be plenty of people that _wanted_ peace. Starting with...

“Where do you two stand?” She quirked an eyebrow.

“Fuck the Ark, I'm with you all the way, C,” Octavia grinned.

“Me too,” Bellamy added, “I trust you.”

She sent them a smile in thanks.

Octavia smiled at her again, “Now how about you use that pretty head of yours to get us out of here?”

“I'm working on it,” Clarke grinned before pointing to the other cages, the ones holding the grounders, “How many do you think there are, O? You can see better from up there.”

She watched her friends eyes follow in the direction she'd pointed. Octavia's eyes brimming with tears as she took in the rows and rows of cages.

“There's...hundreds. Clarke, are all those people...”

“They're part of the coalition,” Clarke nodded, “The people of Tridega have been disappearing for years, now we know why.”

“There's so many,” Octavia sighed, her head turning the other way, “I can see more of our people too.”

Clarke bit her lip. _Our_ people. There was no more 'our people'. Octavia had no idea that Lexa's people were _her_ people now, that Sky Crew would never be _her_ people again unless they joined the coalition. She was about to ask how many but her attention soon turned when she heard people entering the room.

A man and a woman spoke in hushed tones, looking between Harper and a clipboard. When they walked over to some of the cages containing the grounders and one of the grounders opened their mouth, Clarke's blood ran cold.

“That's Heda's houmon, you know? Wife of the Commander!”

And then all eyes were on her. She noticed her friends looking particularly confused. Kane must've kept his _deal_ and her marital status pretty quiet.

“ _Fuck_ ,” She hissed, eyes widening, “This can't be good.”

“How can you be sure she's the Wife of the Commander?” The man spoke, looking between the grounder that'd spoken and Clarke.

“Look at her tattoo!”

“Fucking natrona!” _Traitor._ Clarke growled, “Yu na wan banau pas ai kep klin yu natrona tush!” _You will be banished after I save your traitor ass!_

“What the hell, Clarke?” Octavia whisper shouted, “You speak... _grounder_?”

“I speak _Trigedasleng_ ,” Clarke rolled her eyes, “Rough Trigedasleng anyway.”

Her cage was unlocked and she was tugged from it harshly. A strong hand wrapped around her upper arm and she came face to face with the man as the woman checked out her tattoo.

“It's true,” Her eyebrows rose in surprise, her eyes focused on the man as if Clarke wasn't even there, “Who brought her in? Do you realize how much trouble this is going to cause, Cage?”

The man, _Cage_ , looked concerned, “Whoever brought her in can't have had any idea about this, no one touches the Commanders things. This means war.”

“What if we get rid of her before-”

“Hey,” Clarke put a fake, cheery smile on her face, “You know I can like _hear_ you, right?”

She was met with two pairs of concerned eyes.

“Look...my Wife knows you took me so killing me is just going to make it worse,” Clarke shrugged, “So I suggest you take me to the person in charge so we can negotiate.”

“You – you want to _negotiate_?” Cage asked, a look of disbelief in his eyes.

“Sure, why not?” Clarke shrugged, “We're all fucked if not, aren't we? You can either let me go or kill me, either way my Wife will be displeased so you'll be screwed and I'll be dead or...have to put up with an _incredibly_ grumpy Heda so...”

“And what gives you the authority to negotiate?” The woman narrowed her eyes.

“I _am_ the Commanders Wife but let me properly introduce myself,” Clarke matched the look she was receiving, “I'm Clarke Griffin, _Queen_ of Trigeda and _I_...would like some pants.”

\- - - - - - - - - -

“So...you're in charge then?” Clarke asked.

She'd been taken, _in her underwear_ , to an office. It was large, wealthy, full of things that she'd only read about. She eyed the beautifully crafted swords hanging on the wall behind the massive, wooden desk – a desk that a man, who'd been introduced to her as Dante Wallace, was sitting at in the most expensive looking suit Clarke had ever seen. There was a certain irony in that, these weapons being used as a display. The two sides of the 'grounders', mountain men verses the coalition. One displays weapons in luscious offices for people in expensive suits. The other using weapons to _survive_.

“I am,” He nodded, his face giving and his eyes kind, “And I really appreciate you speaking with me, it seems we're in quite the predicament.”

Her eyebrows rose. _'Quite the predicament'?_ “You're keeping my people in cages, Mr Wallace.”

He nodded, somewhat sadly and her eyes immediately narrowed. He was clearly remorseful _or_ an impeccable actor. So why?

“I didn't have any choice,” His voice wasn't holding any defensiveness, like she'd expect. It was regretful.

“You _always_ have a choice,” Her voice held firm, “How long are the treatments affective?” She quirked an eyebrow. _Treatments_ were a loose term but she wanted to keep it cordial with Dante for as long as she could.

“Excuse me?” His eyes widened, seemingly taken aback by what she'd said.

“The blood transfusions, how long do they keep your people from radiation poisoning?”

“Clever girl,” He said, clearly impressed, it made her eyes roll, “How long did it take you to work out?”

She narrowed her eyes, “Mr Wallace, I'm the only thing standing between you and my Wife's wrath so I suggest you answer my questions.”

Dante nodded gently in understanding, “A week.”

“The Commander thinks you have four to five hundred people, if that's accurate then that's _a lot_ of blood,” Clarke frowned, “Why didn't you ask to join the coalition? I mean, I don't know what you're into but I'd take negotiations and _willing_ participants over this any day.”

“I believed it was too late for that, after years of- ” He sighed, “It was always my dream to unite with Trigeda, to ask for help from the superior inhabitants here but my father had other ideas. He believed your people were savages and now...well, my son has similar ideas as my father.”

Clarke hummed, "You should've tried when Lexa was called to lead her people, surely you heard gossip...rumors from the people you were bleeding? Enough to know she wants peace."

"Indeed," Dante nodded sadly, "There was talk of a new leader, a real visionary but...you have to understand, if I asked for an alliance and your Commander hadn't allowed it then it would've meant the end of my people."

Clarke searched his face, eyebrows furrowed.

Was it too late? Maybe. But she also had to _try_. If they could form an alliance then working together would be beneficial, Trigeda would only be stronger with mountain technology. She _almost_ laughed. If Anya and Lexa could hear how she was thinking right now, Lexa would be _so_ proud, telling her that she was a natural leader. And Anya would no doubt make fun of her. Anya had explained to her that everyone in the coalition was brought up on _'head over heart'_. And she guessed that's what she was doing. Thinking with her heart would mean revenge over all of the lost souls, taken, used and gone. But thinking with her head meant asking what was best for Trigeda in the long run. _Yes_. Lexa would be _proud_.

The small smile that'd made it's way onto her face soured. _Fuck._ She missed her Wife.

“May I ask you a question?” Dante asked, voice gentle. He was obviously expecting her to say no but she nodded, “The latest individuals, the people that came in with you. Their blood work is like nothing we've ever seen. It...it could actually _cure_ us. What makes them different?”

“Oh,” Clarke was surprised but an idea came to her, “How about you test me and find out?”

“You...you'd...”

“My blood is the same as theirs,” She shrugged, “Stop draining my people and you can do all the tests you want on me after we've come to an agreement that I can take back to my Commander.”

“What sort of agreement?”

“If our blood looks like a _possible_ cure then surely our bone marrow will be a _definite_ one,” Clarke suggested, “My people might be willing to cure you in return for your loyalty and technology.”

“Just like that?” He frowned, apprehensive, “Your people wouldn't demand retribution?”

“Jus drein jus daun, blood must have blood, Mr Wallace,” She stated firmly, “But considering what we could do for each other they'll settle for one and if your son really does share the views of your father then maybe he isn't worthy of an alliance?”

“My son?” Dante's voice held pain, his eyes giving him away.

Clarke raised an eyebrow. The survival of his people or his son? _Head or heart, Mr Wallace?_

“I...my priority is insuring the survival of my people, whatever it takes.”

“And the tests? I don't want another drop of blood spilt from anyone else while you're testing me. And once they're done you sneak me out so I can talk to my people.”

“You have my word,” He nodded, “But my son must not know of our talks, he must think I'm on his side. Until the very end.”

“I understand,” She nodded. And she did. No child should feel their parent was sacrificing them. She _knew_ how that felt. And Cage was dangerous, who knew what he'd do with the information.

“I want to apologies now, for how you'll be treated during the tests. They won't go easy on you.”

“I understand that too, just make sure you keep you word,” Clarke said, “And get a radio to Bellamy Blake, I'll need to be able to communicate with him once I'm with the Commander.”

\- - - - - - - - - -

Her mouth felt like sand. She felt like her body was moving through treacle. Everything _hurt_.

\- - - - - - - - - -

Her body was being pulled and it _hurt_. She was being tipped on her side. The hands on her felt cruel. They were unwelcome. Clarke didn't want anyone's hands on her that weren't Lexa's. _Lexa._

_\- - - - - - - - - -_

The pain was unbearable. Burning through her like a white hot sear. She tried to scream but she couldn't hear the sound leaving her throat. Why was this happening? In the back of her mind she saw green. The color lulling her mind to safety.

_Lexa. Lexa. Lexa._

\- - - - - - - - - -

Okay. So. She was wrong. She thought the tests would be difficult but she thought she'd get through them. She didn't know if she would now. She'd been dragged back into the room and strapped to a table in front of the rest of the people captured. She didn't think much of it until her hip was being drilled into without any form of anesthesia. She didn't know how long ago it'd started but she knew she must've passed out from the pain. The only reason she'd come too was because of someone saying her name. Her mouth was dry and tasted like blood. Her lips were sore. Her hair matted to her head. He whole body covered in sweat. And then she felt a searing pain in her hips and legs.

“Clarke!”

 _Octavia._ She struggled to open her eyes but when she did she turned her head to the side. She was too weak to lift it but from her position she could see Octavia and Bellamy, their faces pressed against the bars of their cages with equally worried looks on their faces.

“Did they stop draining people?” She whispered, her voice so hoarse she could barely make any sound.

“Yes,” Octavia nodded, tears pooling in her brilliant eyes, “But they keep...they're hurting you, you keep passing out, Clarke.”

“How long has it been since they brought me back?” She frowned.

“Two days,” Bellamy said sadly.

Two days. _Two days._ She'd been unconscious for two whole days? _Fuck_.

“Did you get a radio?”

“Yeah, some old dude gave it to us. He said to keep it hidden and not to mention you to any of his people,” Octavia explained.

“Is it true?” Bellamy asked lowly, “Are you really...”

Clarke knew what he was asking. He didn't need to finish his sentence for her to know.

“A lot has changed,” Clarke nodded, “Let me introduce myself. I'm Clarke, Wife of the Commander and _Queen_ of Trigeda.”

“Holy shit!” Octavia exclaimed.

“You're a _Queen?”_ Bellamy spluttered.

“I'm _the_ Queen.”

“I always thought you were more of a pillow princess,” Octavia laughed, the good nature of the girl shining through, even in times like this. And she never failed to make Clarke laugh.

“Shut up, O,” She rolled her eyes.

“So much for you coming up with a plan to get us out of here,” Bellamy grumbled.

“This _is_ the plan,” Clarke whispered, dizziness coming over her, “Just stick by the radio and don't get caught with it.”

\- - - - - - - - - -

_This_ was not the plan. Cage dragging her, her legs barley keeping her upright, through a tunnel. This wasn't the plan. Dante was supposed to sneak her out after they'd finished their testing.

“Where are you taking me?” She asked, giving her voice over to the growl in her throat. He didn't answer, he just kept walking until they got to a massive, industrial door. She watched with wide eyes as it popped open and then she was shoved through it. Barely registering it closing behind her as she took in her surroundings. She was outside. Her vision blurred as she nearly collapsed but a hand on her elbow kept her upright. It was then that she took in the people surrounding her.

Her Mom, Anya and Lexa. _Lexa_.

“Lexa,” She swooned, leaning into her lover before her eyes moved to the person next to Lexa, "Anya."

"Thought you died," Anya shrugged, bored expression firmly in place until Lexa elbowed her harshly in the ribs, "Ow...but uh, glad you didn't?"

She let out a soft laugh, "I'm going to pretend that wasn't a question," Her attention was pulled to her other side, she blinked at the woman standing there, "Mom?"

“It's me, honey. I'm here,” Her Mom had tears in her eyes. How could she look this relieved? After everything?

She looked around. She was out and no one else. It only took one look at the guilty expression on Lexa's face to _know_ that Lexa was the culprit. She levelled Lexa with a look.

“What did you do?” Clarke asked, heart beating in her chest. Lexa's eyes fell from hers, the brunette's jaw clenching.

“I made a deal,” The words were spoken so softly that Clarke barely caught them.

“Just for me?” She bit her lip, tears stinging her eyes and Lexa wouldn't meet her eyes as she nodded, “So selfish. Bad Lexa. Very, very bad.”

“I'm...” _Sorry_. The word stayed in Lexa's throat. Clarke knew Lexa _wasn't_ sorry.

“I don't like Lexa, not one bit,” Abby spoke, distain clear in her voice as well as her eyes as she shot Lexa a look, “But she _did_ save you and I don't see how that could be considered selfish.”

“That's because you're selfish too,” Clarke swallowed, taking a breath to stop her tears, “She knows what she did,” Her fingers squeezed the ones she hadn't realized were intertwined with hers, “Don't you?”

Lexa nodded again and Clarke could see just how _torn_ her Wife looked, “I put my heart before my head.”

"What?" Abby asked, confusion and anger at that confusion swimming her expression.

" _I'm_ her heart," Clarke licked her lips, nudging her Wife to get some desperatly needed eye contact. Lexa of course oblidged, her green pools magnifying her guilt but also her absoulty love for Clarke.

Clarke nodded, _It's okay_ and took another deep breath, “I have a plan to get the others out but right now I need rest, take me home.”

“Of course, come on,” Abby's arm wrapped around her shoulders and Clarke paused.

“No.”

“What? You just said you wanted to go home, honey?” Abby looked confused.

“To _my_ home,” Clarke frowned, grabbing Lexa's shoulder to help keep her upright.

“Your home is with your family,” Abby scowled, eyes narrowed in on where Clarke was touching Lexa.

“Yeah,” Clarke nodded, “My home is with my family, my home is with my Wife.”

“Your...your... _what?_ ” Abby's face drained.

 _Oh_. Everything clicked in Clarke's head. Kane hadn't mentioned _that_ part of the deal to her Mom either. She felt dizzy, she was in a lot of pain and she honestly wasn't sure if she could stand up anymore.

“Lex?” She pleaded and thankfully, _like always_ , Lexa knew exactly what she meant. Lexa's arms looped around her back and around the back of her knees. Picking her up bridal style with ease. She let her hand rest on the back of Lexa's neck, pulling gently on the baby hairs she found there. _I'm here, Lexa._

“You are _not_ going with that savage, Clarke, you're coming _home_ ,” Her Mom spat and the words stuck Clarke's heart, anger shot through her.

“I am going home,” Clarke agreed, “ _She_ is my home. She's going to carry me all the way to _our_ home, where we live _together_ and take me to _our_ bed. And she's going to make love to me because she'll need to feel close to me. And she'll cry because that's how much she fucking _loves_ me. And she'll hold me all night long because she won't be able to let me out of her sight for a few days after this. And I'm going to love every second of it because I _love_ her and she's _it_ for me. Right, babe?”

“Right,” Lexa nodded, her eyes not leaving Clarke, “Except...probably longer than days.”

Clarke grinned, stroking Lexa's cheek before focusing back on her Mom, “And if you don't like it then you can go _float_ yourself.”

“ _Clarke-_ ” Abby hissed but Clarke cut her off.

“We're going to go home, to our home in Ton DC. Meet us there in the morning if you want to help but come unarmed,” Clarke fixed her Mom with an icy glare, “Your guns aren't welcome among _my_ people.”

\- - - - - - - - - -

“I was so scared that I'd lost you,” Lexa whispered into her hair.

They'd made it back to Ton DC in record time because Lexa was so worried about her. Lexa had sent Anya ahead to get a bath and a healer ready for Clarke. And once they were there she'd stripped away Clarke's underwear with more care than imaginable. Taken time to press her lips to every scrape, bruise and wound that she came across. She gently lowered Clarke into the tub and washed her gently.

Once she was dry and dressed Lexa had carried her to Nyko, the resident healer who patched her up. Packing the drilled holes in her hips and thighs with an antiseptic paste that stung.

It wasn't until Lexa had gently laid her in their bed and joined her that the brunette finally broke. Burying her face in Clarke's neck and letting silent tears seep into blonde hair.

“I'll always come back to you, Lexa,” Clarke said, fingers tracing up Lexa's spine, under her shirt, “Always. No matter what happens. I love you so much.”

“I love you.”

“C'mere,” she nudged Lexa's face up so they could make eye contact, using her nose, taking a second to press a kiss to Lexa's lips, “Remember this?”

She grabbed hold of Lexa's hand, pressing it over her heart so that the brunette could feel the rhythm of it.

Lexa gave her a watery smile, nodding, “Only back then the biggest threat to you was your own clumsiness.”

Clarke couldn't help but to laugh.

“Don't blame me! Blame Anya, she had the knife!” She giggled, her eyes taking in every little detail of Lexa's face, already memorized but detailing them nonetheless, “Lexa...you didn't listen to anything my Mom said, did you?”

Lexa's smile fell, her hand squeezing Clarke's side, “I...sometimes I worry.”

Her voice was so small, so vulnerable. Clarke stroked her cheek, tilting the brunette's face up so those green eyes met hers, “What do you worry about?”

“I _made_ you marry me, I- it wasn't your choice and...” Lexa licked her lips, “I wouldn't blame you if you left me.”

“Lexa, no,” Clarke shook her head, fingers tangling in brunette locks and tugging so that Lexa understood her, “I _love_ you, Lexa. You didn't _make_ me marry you. You wanted to marry me to protect me and I _know_ you. If I'd told you that I didn't want to then you wouldn't of gone through with it, would you?”

Lexa searched her eyes, “I...I don't know.”

“You wouldn't of made love to me, Lexa. You wouldn't of forced me to sleep in your bed.”

“No,” Lexa shook her head, “Of course not.”

“See?” Clarke raised an eyebrow, “We _needed_ to get married to keep me safe but we _wanted_ to love each other, right?”

“Yes,” Lexa's breath fanned over her face, “I _wanted_ to love you, I _want_ to love you.”

“You do love me,” Clarke corrected, “I've _never_ felt so loved in my entire life and that's all you.”

“I just want you to be happy,” Lexa's voice broke, tears slipping down her cheeks.

Clarke's thumbs were there to catch them, “I _am_ happy. You make me _so_ happy.”

Lexa couldn't answer, Clarke could tell she was trying to hold back a sob but she shot Clarke a smile anyway.

“I don't know about you but I've had enough emotional talk for one day?” A teasing lilt to her tone, she cocked her head to the side, tugging brunette hair, “How about we shut up and put our mouths to better use?”

Lexa chuckled, “My wife, hater of emotional talk.”

“It's so ironic that I married such a sap,” Clarke laughed, rolling her eyes.

“Your sap,” Lexa pressed a kiss to Clarke's cheek.

Clarke nudged Lexa's cheek with her nose, “C'mon, Lex. I wanna fuck.”

“That's the most romantic thing you've ever said to me,” Lexa mused, a smirk firmly planted.

“I can be romantic!” Clarke argued, “Roses are red, violets are blue, suck my dick and I'll suck on you too.”

“Clarke!” Lexa gasped, giggling into the kiss Clarke was giving her, “I know you prefer to _jok_ but...would you let me _love_ you tonight?” _Fuck._

“Sha,” Clarke smirked, catching Lexa's lips with her own. Rolling them over so she could straddle her wife.

“Clarke,” Lexa breathed out through the kiss, “You're hurt...let me.”

Clarke pulled away, pressing her lips to Lexa's jaw, making the brunette whimper.

“I know,” Clarke nipped at the sensitive skin, “I just missed you so much, Lex.”

Lexa smiled, wrapping her arms around the blonde and gently rolling until she was carefully settling between her legs, “I missed you too.”

\- - - - - - - - - -

“It's a sham!” Her mother's voice splashed like acid. The disdain not being slightly hidden.

“Our marriage is _not_ a sham,” Lexa said firmly. Face stoic but eye's on Abby like daggers.

Her thoughts drifted to last night, the pleasant ache between her thighs pulling her there. To whispered sentiment and Lexa's loving caress. To Lexa loving her in warms furs. She'd rather be there or _anywhere_ rather than _here_. Lexa tugging her away from those warm furs, into the cold meeting tent with her mother certainly wasn't a welcome contrast to Lexa worshipping her body.

But here she was. Lexa and her Mom arguing, getting _no where_ because their conversation was just circular – her Mom insulting Lexa by calling her a child and telling her she's untrustworthy. Focusing on their marriage and Lexa defending them, trying to get Abby to talk about strategy for the mountain – for the last half an hour.

“You're brainwashing my child!”

Clarke had, had enough. She fixed her Mother with a heated gaze.

“Shut up!” She snarled.

Abby's eyes were on her in a flash, looking incredulous, “You're my child, Clarke. I know that you wouldn't willingly marry someone like _her_.”

Clarke rolled her eyes, “Someone like her?” She scoffed, “What someone who loves me? Who puts me first? Who would do _anything_ for me?”

“A savage!” Abby growled, “A killer! A disgrace-”

“You won't talk about her like that, I won't let you,” Clarke growled back, just a fierce.

The look in Clarke's eye made Abby falter but only for a second, “You _will_ listen to me, you're my daughter.”

“I'm no one's daughter,” Clarke hissed, “The only familial connection I have is a wife.”

“You don't want to be my daughter anymore, then _fine,_ ” Abby spat, “But as your Chancellor, you're marriage will _not_ be recognized. You _will_ answer to your Chancellor.”

Clarke's hands slammed down onto the table between them, the sharp sound echoing in their minds as Clarke leant forward. Teeth bared and a dangerous look in her eye.

“I am the Queen of Tridega and I answer to no one,” Her voice was low, harsh. Her statement making Abby gasp. Their eye contact intense and only broken when someone else entered the tent. Raven Rayes.

_Fuck._

Clarke sighed, turning around to gather herself.

“You killed him!” Raven said, her voice wet with tears.

“For a reason,” Lexa replied, voice even and firm.

“What possible reason could you have?” Abby spat, her tone of belittlement clear.

“Look,” Clarke couldn't see her but by the sound of Lexa's voice she knew her well enough to be able to picture the slight flare of Lexa's nostrils, hard set jaw rising in defiance – perhaps an eye roll, “We have a common enemy and Clarke has a plan so if we can just stick to talking about how to take down the mountain then-”

“You want us to trust you?” Abby spat, “After everything you've done?”

“Negotiations are done with logic, not emotion,” Lexa said, voice of steel, “If you can't handle that then-”

“Without emotion?” Raven cried, “You _killed_ my boyfriend.”

“For a reason!” Lexa's voice came out like ice. The cold edge of it sending a chill up her spine even though it wasn't directed at her.

“What reason?!” Raven screamed.

There was a pregnant pause before Lexa spoke quietly but not losing any of her firmness, “A reason you do not need to know.”

She spun round, not quite finding it in herself to look at Raven before she focused on Lexa, speaking in swift Trig so that Raven couldn't pick up on any of their words, “Jos tel op emo.” _Just tell them._

Lexa's expression remained stoic but her eyes softened for Clarke, like always, “Sou nouda ai getnes ba tel.” _It's not my information to tell_.

“Tel op emo!” _Tell them!_ Clarke spat.

“What the hell is this?” Abby hissed, “You're poisoning my child!”

“Ai nou dig in oyu nomon bitam, Klark,” _I don't like your mother very much, Clarke._ Lexa said, eyeing Abby.

“Yu nou ge soulou,” _You're not alone._

“Bes ai nou gada in-” _Should I not have-_

“Nou. Pleni, Leksa. Yu shil op ai, hef nou na step a hop op,” _No. Enough, Lexa. You protected me, he wasn't going to stop._ She slipped her hand onto Lexa's shoulder, thumb stroking the skin near her neck, “Yu don ai klir.” _You made me safe._

Green eyes met blue, a flicker of acknowledgement and drawing support from each other. _Reassurance._

“Ai otaim shil op yu,” _I'll always protect you._ Lexa whispered.

Clarke smiled. _I know_.

“Enough!” Abby's voice snapped, causing them to drop eye contact, “Do not communicate with my daughter in a language I don't understand!”

A nasty smirk came to Clarke's face, “Don't worry, _Mom_. She was just telling me how much she wants my face between her legs right now.”

“How can you joke?” The sound of Raven's voice sobered Clarke and she finally looked at the girl.

Her breath caught in her throat, “Raven, I...”

“What are we even doing here?” Raven asked with a sad shrug of her shoulders, “Lexa killed Finn and she won't tell us why. Maybe your Mom's been right all along, grounder _are_ savages.”

“No, Raven,” Clarke pleaded, “You've been here with me. You know Lexa, you-”

“Maybe I don't!” Raven spat, “If she can kill Finn, just like that? Maybe neither of us _know_ her, Clarke! Maybe we don't know _them_. Maybe all of this really was just a ploy because the almighty Commander really wanted in your pants!”

The words stung. For Lexa, probably even more.

“I had a reason, Raven,” Lexa spoke softly.

“What reason?!” Raven sobbed.

“He raped me!”

Clarke's mouth fell open at the same moment everyone else's did. Just as shocked as they were by her confession. She felt Lexa's fingers brushing against her own for support. And _God_ , Lexa was just perfect. She swallowed thickly. All eyes on her.

“Wh-what?” Raven choked out.

“He raped me,” Clarke breathed out, talking quietly, the anger had vanished, “He wasn't going to stop, as soon as he landed her tried to again and Lexa...”

“She killed him because he...”

“Yes,” Clarke nodded, “And I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry, Raven. I'll tell you anything you want to know, I promise you. But right now I need you to listen to me. People are going to die unless you help me.”

Raven blinked heavily, tears spilling down her cheeks. Confusion and heartbreak on her face but determination shining in her eyes. She nodded, “Tell me what I have to do.”

“Goch op,” _Guard._ Clarke took a sigh of relief, waiting until she saw Indra poke her head through the entrance, “Dufa op Reivon.” _Take care of Raven._

“Sha, Haiplana,” _Yes, Queen._ Indra nodded.

Clarke turned to Raven, “Go with Indra, she'll help you find food and water. Have a little while to yourself before I tell you the plan. Okay?”

“Yeah, ” Raven nodded, “Thanks, Clarke. And Lexa, I...”

“We will speak later. Friend?” Lexa asked tentatively.

Raven looked Lexa up and down before giving her a slight nod and following Indra out. That just left her mother. Abby, who was still motionless after Clarke's confession. Staring at Clarke like she had two heads.

“Mom?”

“You're lying,” Abby hissed.

Lexa stepped forward in a heartbeat and if looks could kill, Abby would be dead. Clarke grabbed onto Lexa's wrist to stop her saying whatever she was about to say.

“You were in lock up, he couldn't of... _no one_ touched you,” Abby continued.

Clarke sighed, “Are you going to help us get everyone out of the mountain or not?”

“I'll help _you_ ,” Abby's eyes narrowed, “Not _her_. And once everyone is safe then you're going to come home. No matter what I have to do.”

And with that Abby stormed out. Leaving Lexa and Clarke looking at each other.

“Holy crap on a cracker,” Clarke breathed out, eyes wide, hands clutching at Lexa's shirt.

“I couldn't have said it better myself, niron.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two more chapters of this left.  
> Chapter six will be a bit of a conclusion but chapter seven will have a bit of everything.  
> If there's anything you guys would like to see in this then let me know and I'll try to include it.  
> I know some people want Anya and Raven to get together...we'll have to wait and see ;)


	6. I Am Wanheda

**6\. I Am Wanheda**

“ _Drop your fucking weapon!” Clarke cried, tears streaming down her face, her gun pointed directly at her mother, “Don't make me do this!”_

_How the fuck did she get here?_

\- - - - - - - - - -

With Raven's help they made contact with Bellamy. Contact with Bellamy meant contact with Octavia. Contact with Octavia meant a high pitched _'took your fucking time'_ followed by a _'did your wife fuck you so good you forgot about us?'_ that made her blush because Lexa, Anya, Raven _and_ her mother could hear her. At least Anya thought it was amusing. And then she had the horrible thought of Anya and Octavia teaming up on her and a shudder went down her spine. _Was Octavia really worth saving?_

_Maybe._

Probably.

The only problem was that Clarke's whole plan went to absolute _shit_ because Cage had taken over by force. Bellamy didn't even know where Dante was anymore. They could no longer form an alliance with Dante. So they had to rethink the whole thing.

The plan was to get in through the reaper tunnels. Lincoln had been in those tunnels, he knew how to get to the main doors. Raven was in charge of making a small explosive device that would open that door from the outside. At that point Lexa would go for the guard and Clarke would go for the people in the cages.

Simple enough?

Apparently not.

The mountain saw them coming. As soon as they got through the door there were mountain men armed and ready for them. Lexa's warriors were ready though and they charged full force. They shared a loaded glance, full of everything they couldn't say out loud in that moment. Their lips meeting harshly in a promise of later. Anya's mutter of _'gross'_ even as she slit a mountain man's throat, making a laugh pass through Clarke and Lexa before they parted. Lexa drawing swords and Clarke sprinting right, gun in hand.

She made it into the cage room through a vent.

“Griff!”

“Bellamy,” She grabbed a pipe, pulling it from the wall before she ran to his cage, sinking to her knees but her heart dropped to her stomach, “Wait...where's Octavia?”

“They took her, Clarke,” His eyes were swimming, “I...I don't know where but-”

“I'll get her back,” Clarke swallowed thickly, nodding to convince him or herself? She wasn't sure, “I'll find her and I'll get her.”

He matched her, nodding his own head but the dubious look on his face said that he didn't believe her. He grabbed the pipe, working quickly to thread it through the bars and break the lock on his cage before he was out, arms tight around Clarke in a bruising hug.

“We need to get to the control room,” Bellamy swallowed, a panicked look in his eyes as he pulled away, “Monty managed to get out, he said he could find out where they've taken Octavia and the rest of the people from the Ark using the surveillance cameras.”

Clarke pursed her lips, if Cage had taken only people from Skaikru then he was going to start drilling. She was sure of it, “No, I'll go to the control room. _You_ find Dante and bring him to me.”

Bellamy gave her a skeptical look but nodded in agreement. Her eyes ran along the cages of people left. She addressed the room.

“Ai komba raun kos enes. Ai swega klin.” _I'll come back for everyone else. I promise._

\- - - - - - - - - -

Finding the control room meant finding Monty staring at the surveillance monitor with a tragic look on his face. She could see Cage on the monitor, pacing a room filled with Skaikru people that were seemingly tied to the wall. Her eyes narrowed in on Octavia, the girl thrashing. Clarke felt proud to call her a friend in that moment. Octavia Blake did not give up.

“Can we irradiate from here?” She asked.

Monty's eyes were on her in a second before he nodded dumbly.

“Set it up.”

She said it like an order. For Monty's piece of mind. This was her choice, not his. Her responsibility, no one else's. She grabbed a radio.

“Cage Wallace?” She watched as he grabbed his own radio from his belt, pulling it towards his face.

“ _Who is this?”_

“My army is killing your soldiers as we speak,” She said, “It's time to give up, Cage.”

“ _You don't know what you're doing,”_ His answer was venomous, _“You think you can beat me? You're just a pathetic little girl.”_

“Yeah? Well you use too much hair gel!” She noticed Bellamy at the doorway, pulling a disgruntled Dante along behind him. _Thank you, Bellamy,_ “I have your father, let my people go or I'll shoot him.”

“Clarke?!” Bellamy's protests fell on deaf ears.

She had to do what she had to do and Bellamy wasn't going to stop her.

“ _You wouldn't,”_ Came Cage's reply.

“I'm sorry, Dante,” Clarke said gently, “I know you wanted an alliance more than anyone else but I...you were right, it _is_ too late.”

He nodded thoughtfully, nothing but understanding and regret in his expression, “You're a good leader, Clarke. Unfortunately sometimes people go too far for the damage to be repaired.”

With a heavy blink two fat tears ran down her cheeks and her gun was pointed. With a shaky hand, she aimed her gun at Dante.

“Last chance,” She said into the radio, every fiber of her being hoping that Cage would surrender.

“ _I'm sorry, Dad.”_

She pulled the trigger.

“Clarke, what the fuck?” Bellamy's voice rang through her ears. Monty's eyes shinning.

She shook her head.

“Clarke, I've done it,” Monty whispered, “All you have to do is pull that lever.”

“Let everyone go or I'll irradiate Mount Weather,” She eyed the lever.

“Clarke, there's kids in here,” Bellamy protested, “Innocent kids, they aren't part of this.”

Her empty eyes fixed on Bellamy, “I know.”

He took a step back, he actually looked scared of her and it hurt. She pulled in a breath but whatever she was about to say got caught in her throat when a body crashed into the room. Anya. Anya covered in blood. Not her own but blood nonetheless. And the next words out of Anya's mouth made her heart _stop_.

“They've got Lexa.”

Clarke spun around to the monitors, watching Cage as he looked straight at the camera. She grabbed the lever.

When they talk about the moments that define you, was this the kind of _moment_ they meant? Clarke wasn't sure.

She was only sure that _this_ was Earth.

This is what Earth did to you if you weren't protected by Lexa's coalition. This is how it _use_ to be with all the Commanders before her rein. Was _this_ what Earth had in store for her? This crap? Was it this cruel?

Maybe but it also gave her Lexa.

Was this the price? Was she was willing to pay it?

No, this wasn't about Lexa. Her duty, as Haiplana, was to her people. Her people that were used and dis-guarded like their lives didn't matter. Like _they_ didn't matter. She _didn't_ have a choice. Her people had to come before Mount Weather and she had to do everything in her power to ensure their safety. Just like Lexa would. Even if it broke her.

She watched the monitor as a guard pushed a familiar brunette into the room, Cage grabbing her straight away so that the brunette's face could clearly be seen by Clarke.

“Lexa,” She hummed. Voice cracking. Lexa's slight nod letting her know that the brunette could hear her, “Ai firfou.” _I'm scared._

“ _Laik yuj,” Be strong_. She heard her voice, sounding echoed over the radio static, _“Ai geda yu.” I'm with you._

Her fingers started to itch until they came up and her fingertips made contact with her tattoo. The rough skin felt like it was almost burning. Lexa was with her. _Always_.

She took a deep breath, nodding firmly to herself and lowered the lever.

She watched them on the monitors. She watched them gasping for breath. Watched their skin blister and burn. Watched them drop to the floor one by one. Watched them _die_.

She had to. She _had_ to watch because she'd done this. She'd killed them. And she didn't move until they were all gone. Every one of them but Cage. _Of course_ Cage had cured himself first using her bone marrow.

“What now, Sky Girl?” Anya asked, eyebrow quirked and arms crossed.

“Now,” Clarke set her face in determination, “Now I go get my wife.”

\- - - - - - - - - -

And she was running. Anya hot on her heels. Running down the halls. Running towards Lexa. The sound of their feet hitting the floor pounding in her ears. Her heavy breaths coming out hard.

Her foot collided with the door first, thrusting in open with a bang as her and Anya careered through it.

Her chest rising in hard pants as she surveyed the room. Her friends handcuffed to the wall, looking at her like she held hope. And Lexa. Lexa looking angry. Clarke frowned in confusion. Cage had Lexa in a hold in front of him, knife at her throat. A hold that Lexa could easily get out of, so why wasn't she?

She felt Anya step forward but stopped instantly when Clarke held up a halting hand. She didn't need Anya's loyalty to her Heda to get her killed right now and something was off. She tilted her head at Lexa.

“Shil op yuwas,” _Defend yourself_. She spat, almost commanded Lexa. Her anger rising to the surface.

The single word to leave Lexa's mouth making her blood run cold, “Fayogon.” _Gun._

Her angry eyes met Cage's over Lexa's shoulder, “What now? It's over, Cage. All of your people are dead.”

“You killed my father,” Cage spoke, his voice full of anger and grief, “Now you'll watch your wife die.”

“You kill my wife and I'll make you _wish_ you were dead,” She hissed, watching Cage gulp at the fierce look on her face but he hid it quickly, his attention turning to Lexa.

“Get on your knees, _Commander_ ,” His voice dripped with venom.

“Heda gets on her knees for no one except me,” Clarke growled, “Your fight is with me, Cage. Not her.”

“Death wouldn't make you suffer enough,” He scoffed, “The only way for you to understand the pain you've caused is by me taking away someone you love.”

He was wrong. She knew exactly how he felt. She remembered the pain, the disbelief, the utter heartbreak of losing her father. _She knew._

But in his anger Cage had done exactly what she needed him to. He'd stepped out from behind Lexa, to her side with her at an arms length away. Still at gunpoint.

With a brief glance at Lexa and Anya, she nodded, “Nau!” _Now._

The trio moved in synch. Lexa dropping to her belly on the floor. Anya's thrown dagger sinking into Cage's bicep – forcing him to drop his gun – and Clarke's sword unsheathed and pressed against his jugular all in one swift moment.

“Yu gonplei ste oden,” She jerked her wrist, slitting Cage's throat and spilling his blood. Watching the fear in his eyes but all she could see is red.

After a baited breath and a pregnant pause it was Octavia who break the tension. Octavia breaking her her out of her mist.

“That was _so_ freaking badass.”

“O!” Clarke gasped, rushing to her friend.

“Get the keys,” Octavia nodded towards Cage, Anya was there in a flash, “That was so fucking cool, Clarke. I never knew you could be assertive like that! And how you were all like _'she only gets on her knees for me'_ I swear that shit was so funny- wait, did you find Bell?”

Clarke nodded, trying desperately to keep up with her friend while she was still on such an adrenalin high.

“I did, he's fine-” Clarke was cut of by strong hands grasping her hips, grounding her. She let out a sigh, leaning back into the familiar warmth of Lexa, “Octavia, this is Lexa, my wife. Lexa, meet Octavia Blake, my best friend.”

Anya – who was unlocking Octavia – grumbled, “What was all this shit about friendship bracelets then?” But Clarke decided to ignore her.

Octavia just giggled at Lexa, “That's so weird, you have a _wife_ , it feels like yesterday that we were competing to see how many boys noticed our nipples when we didn't wear bras-”

“Octavia!”

As soon as Octavia was free she flung her arms around Clarke, pressing a kiss to her mouth that had Lexa widening her eyes so much it made her look like a puppy. She pulled Octavia along and helped Anya work on freeing the others before Lexa was in her ear again.

“Ryder came to inform me that your mother has gone for her guard,” Lexa whispered, “I need to catch up to her before she reaches the Ark.”

“Just you?” Clarke quirked an eyebrow.

Lexa glanced around the room, “You're the only healer here and our people are still in cages.”

Clarke nodded in understanding, Lexa wanted her here in case anyone was injured and Lexa would be quicker without her anyway. She caught Lexa's mouth in a kiss, “Laik klir.” _Be safe._

Lexa nodded, letting her eyes roam Clarke's face for another moment before leaving. Pressing a kiss to Clarke's cheek on her way out.

Clarke waited approximately five minutes before turning to Anya. Anya who already knew _exactly_ what Clarke was thinking before Clarke had opened her mouth. Anya gave her a stiff nod.

“Go.”

Clarke smiled gratefully and followed after Lexa. Anya had things covered and Clarke did not trust her Mom with Lexa.

\- - - - - - - - - -

She ran.

A gun shot. The noise echoing off the trees. The birds flying away from their perches.

_What the fuck?_

She ran faster.

Her legs hurt but the moment she saw Lexa, Lexa's back turned to her, she ran faster. Calling out Lexa's name when she was close and Lexa spun around with only a second to spare as Clarke launched herself at the brunette. Lexa catching her, lifting her. _Hugging her._

“ _Fuck_ , I love you,” Clarke cried out. Face buried in Lexa's neck, arms around her shoulders, legs around her waist.

“I...love you...too,” Lexa replied.

Something wasn't right. Lexa's voice sounded strained, distant. Clarke pulled back, searching Lexa's face. And Lexa was pale, eyes glassy and a drawn look on her face.

“Lexa?” She grabbed Lexa's face in her hands, sliding down Lexa's body until her feet hit the floor and then she saw it.

Blood. A lot of blood, seeping through Lexa's shirt from just under her ribs.

“It's over, Clarke,” Abby's voice sounded from their left.

Clarke spun to see her mother, a gun in her hand, a gun directly pointed at Lexa.

“You...you shot her?” Clarke cried, “You-”

“Can't you see what she's done to us, Clarke?” Abby replied.

“Are you crazy?” Clarke shouted, “You think killing my wife will fix our relationship?”

“I won't let her take you from me.”

“Mom-” Clarke felt Lexa's body sag next to hers.

Head spinning to the side she saw Lexa had dropped to her knees. Green eyes looking up at her, pleading. She'd never seen Lexa look so small. So _weak_.

“Clarke,” Lexa whispered.

“Be strong, Lexa,” Clarke's hand met her shoulder, “You have to-”

“Clarke,” Lexa interrupted, “Please kiss me.”

“What?” Clarke's eyes widened, searing Lexa's face.

“Give me one last kiss,” Lexa gulped, lower lip trembling as her hand pressed into her stomach.

“No, Lexa-”

“ _Please_ , Clarke, just one last kiss.”

“No, you're not going to die,” Clarke growled, nails digging into the flesh of Lexa's shoulder.

“Clarke, please.”

“No!” She shouted, teeth gritted so hard her jaw hurt, “You don't get your damn goodbye kiss because you're _not_ going anywhere.”

“Clarke, what are you doing?” Abby asked, eyes fixed on the gun Clarke was slowly raising, barrel pointed straight at her.

“Drop your weapon or I'll shoot you,” Clarke felt Lexa's face press against her thigh. She let her hand fall to the back of Lexa's head.

“You'd shoot your own mother?” Abby's face clouded with hurt but Clarke had her beat.

“You'd shoot my wife?” Clarke cried, fingers tangling in brunette locks, “I _will_ shoot you if she dies, drop your weapon.”

“Clarke!”

“Drop your fucking weapon!” Clarke cried, tears streaming down her face, her gun pointed directly at her mother, “Don't make me do this!”

How _the fuck_ did she get here? In the woods. The woman she loves on her knees with a bullet in her stomach. Her own mother at gunpoint because of being the one that put it there.

“Mom,” Clarke let the vulnerability color her tone, she wanted her mother to _feel_ the pain she was causing her, “I love her, Mom. Please. If you kill her then _you'll_ be dead to me. Not her.”

A gasp left Abby's mouth as her gun dropped to the floor with a thud, her now empty hands shooting up to cup her mouth.

Clarke nodded, eyes streaming, “Now fix her or I'll never forgive myself for not giving her that kiss.”

\- - - - - - - - - -

She sat motionless, watching Lexa get hooked up to machines. Abby had wrapped Lexa's wound to be able to get her back to the Ark in time to save her. The Sky people had managed to make a pretty decent base camp, they'd put up walls and a gate. Walking through that gate into 'Camp Jaha' had been something Clarke never wanted to do but she wasn't going to leave Lexa's side and this was Lexa's best chance. She knew that. And thankfully Jackson had set up the medical room enough to accommodate them.

Seeing Lexa so weak was like a punch in the face. She was pale, she looked dead. Clarke couldn't take it. She just watched. Abby and Jackson were working fast, setting her up on a drip and talking about a blood transfusion. Clarke offered her arm without saying a word and Abby only hesitated for a second before she was taking Clarke's blood to save Lexa.

She couldn't cry, she felt empty. If Lexa died then so would she. Not physically but emotionally there'd be nothing left. Lexa was everything to her. Lexa made her who she was. Without Lexa she was...nothing.

“Grounders.”

The word was spoken with fear and a sense of urgency. She looked up to see Marcus hanging by the doorway with wide eyes. She caught her Mother's eye, giving her a stern look. Letting Abby know that _Clarke_ was in charge here. This was Clarke's world, not hers.

“Tell them to send in my guard,” Clarke said softly, levelling Marcus with a glare, “And do not disarm any of my people, not with these guns around.”

Marcus had the nerve to seek approval from Abby but thankfully she nodded and Marcus was back out the door.

“She's going to be okay, honey,” Abby said, voice weak, apologetic.

Clarke didn't reply, she had _nothing_ to say to her Mother that would be helpful to Lexa right now.

“Sky Girl.”

And there was Anya in all her _Anya_ glory. Her war paint smeared and mixed with blood, more blood covering her clothes and looking a regal as ever. The level of care in her eye contact grounding Clarke, even if it was just a little.

“ _Onya_ ,” Clarke breathed out, a sob getting caught in her throat. Her eyes filling with tears but she wouldn't let them spill, not until Lexa was okay.

“You know, you make my job pretty hard,” Anya teased with a half grin, “It's difficult to guard someone that keeps running off.”

Clarke rolled her eyes, a laugh bubbling from her, “I'm sorry.”

“No ones going to mess with you now,” Anya shrugged, “They're calling you _Wanheda._ ”

“Wanheda?” Clarke asked.

“Commander of death.”

“Right,” Clarke's heart sunk, her eyes dropping from Anya and settling of her wife.

 _Commander of death_. Is that was she was now? Is that what she had to become to keep people safe?

“Who hurt her?” Anya nodded towards Lexa.

“Gontaim,” _Later_. Clarke said quietly and Anya nodded dutifully.

“We need orders, Clarke,” Anya nudged her, now behind her. Her voice firm, no more teasing, “You're the acting Commander now that Lexa's...”

“She's not dead, Anya,” Clarke snapped, expression hardening.

“She can't lead while unconscious, Clarke and we need our orders, you _know_ that,” Anya's tone held a bite that made bile rise in her throat.

She didn't _want_ to give orders. She wanted _Lexa_.

“No,” Clarke growled, rising up to be eye level with Anya but Anya looked _furious_.

“Pull yourself together, you have a duty to your people and without Lexa you _have_ to-”

“Shut up,” Clarke growled, “Lexa will give her orders when she's-”

Anya's fist made contact with her face, the punch was _expected_ but hurt nonetheless. _Of course_ Anya would punch her. _Fucking Anya_. She gripped her cheek, feeling blood trickle from the little cut Anya had made under her eye. Anya might be a bitch but she needed that.

“Oh my God!” Her Mother's voice rang out, “Help! We need a guard in here-”

“No,” Clarke cut her Mother off in a roar, “ _My_ people, _my_ responsibility. You will _never_ decide for my people.”

Abby's look of surprise made Clarke roll her eyes, did Abby really think that Clarke would let _anyone_ lay a hand on her people?

“No violence in my medical bay,” Abby said, voice firm but looking nauseous. Clarke nodded shortly, turning back to Anya.

“Tell Gustus to take all the injured people to Ton DC, Nyko will heal them. Send Ryder to Polis to let the ambassadors know that _Wanheda_ will be filling in until the Heda is healed and defer any issues to Indra for now, she'll know what I need to deal with directly and what she can handle herself. And ask Indra to send a team to round up the reapers, we'll try to cure them.”

Anya nodded and Clarke could tell that Anya agreed with her decisions. If there's one thing she could count on it was that Anya would tell her if she disagreed. With Anya gone to delegate, Clarke sank back into her chair, eyes flitting over Lexa's face.

“You really are in charge, aren't you?” Abby's voice pulled her gaze up.

She searched her Mother's face. She looked surprised but in an impressed kind of way. Like she'd only just realized Clarke's role in this world. Like it was the first time she was seeing Clarke as anything other than a child.

“I am,” Clarke said, jutting her chin out confidently and keeping her eyes hard, “All of our people can live in peace, Mom. If you just trust me.”

Abby looked taken aback. Not responding to her but instead her eyes fell to Clarke's cheek, “Can I take a look at that?”

Clarke shook her head no, “Focus on Lexa, I'm fine.”

\- - - - - - - - - -

Four hours passed and Clarke hadn't moved. Lexa was stable, it was just a matter of waiting for her to wake up. Anya had tried to get her to go and get a shower or change her clothes - _“Lexa's going to divorce you as soon as she wakes up if you smell like that.” -_ but she wasn't going to leave Lexa, Lexa needed her and there was no where else she was going to be.

She had her elbows rested on Lexa's bed and her fingers tangled in her blonde locks when her Mother came back to check on her, sitting on Lexa's other side.

“Are you okay?”

“No,” Clarke scoffed, “I don't know where to go from here, I killed so many people...Lexa almost _died_...if we can't work together now then what was it all for?”

“You're hurt,” The voice was like music to Clarke's ears, however weak and scratchy it was.

“Lexa,” Clarke's eyes searched the green she loved. Everything else melted away in that moment, it was just her and Lexa.

“Clarke, you're _hurt_ ,” Lexa's hands fumbled to find purchase on Clarke's cheeks and pulled Clarke's face down to hers so she could see the little cut better.

“You got shot you idiot,” Clarke said in a laugh, soaking in the feeling of Lexa's presence, nudging the brunette's cheek with her nose, “I got punched, _by Anya_.”

Lexa smiled at Clarke's eyes roll, “We don't need Anya, I'll kill her.”

“Don't even joke,” Clarke giggled, she couldn't of wiped the smile off her face even if she'd wanted to, “How's your stomach?”

Lexa hesitated, her handing finding Clarke's where the blonde's was resting gently over her covered wound and intertwined their fingers, “I don't think your Mother likes me."

Clarke grinned even wider, “That's okay, I like you enough for everyone.”

Lexa matched her grin, catching Clarke's lips in a kiss. Lexa was going for short and sweet but Clarke followed her mouth when she tried to pull away, catching her in a deeper, needier one. Letting her teeth sink into Lexa's tongue just to prove to herself the brunette was _here_. When Lexa felt the tears on Clarke's cheeks she pulled back.

“Clarke?”

“Apparently it's Wanheda now,” Clarke let out a humorless laugh, resting her forehead on Lexa's.

“Clarke, you didn't have a choice,” Lexa shook her head gently, nudging the blonde until their eyes met, “Don't think about the people that were lost, think about the people you _saved_.”

“Lex...” Clarke sniffled, “I don't want to be Wanheda.”

The worry in Lexa's green eyes was apparent but she swallowed and stroked her fingertips over Clarke's jaw, “It's a name of honor, Clarke but whoever you are, you'll always be the girl that was scared to get off a horse the first time she rode.”

Clarke giggled at the memory, tears streaming down her face.

“They honor you as Wanheda because you brought back their Mother's, Father's, siblings, children, they celebrate Wanheda for ending one hundred years of bloodshed,” Lexa licked her lips, “You saved so many people, you deserve to be celebrated like this.”

“So many people died, Lex,” Clarke cried.

“Who you are and who you need to be to survive, Clarke,” Lexa nuzzled into Clarke's neck, “Wanheda, the Commander of death and Klark, the girl with the big smile and the even bigger heart.”

“I love you so much,” Clarke whispered against the brunette's lips, tugging her into a watery kiss.

“And I, you,” Nimble fingers wove into blonde locks, “I don't know what I could've done to be so lucky as to have you by my side.”

“You're looks help,” Clarke joked, breaking Lexa's serious gaze.

“Ai Klark,” _My Clarke_. Lexa laughed, “You can never do serious.”

Clarke shook her head, teeth sinking into her bottom lip.

“I understand now.”

They were pulled from their loving gaze, their little bubble by Abby. Clarke had completely forgotten Abby was even in the room. Clarke's gaze hardened on her Mother.

“What do you understand?”

“I didn't think this was real,” Abby gestured between them, “But seeing you together...Clarke...”

“We love each other,” Clarke shrugged, “It's real. _We_ are real.”

“I know,” Abby stated softly, “Clarke, I want a relationship with you...I...if I hand my Chancellorship over to Kane would you consider-”

“You killed my Father,” Clarke spat, “You didn't believe me about Finn. You _shot_ my wife.”

“Honey, _please_ -”

“No, I-”

“Klark,” Lexa grabbed her hand, drawing the blondes attention, “Em's yu nomon.” _She's your mother._

“Em's laksen yu,” _She hurt you_. Clarke shot back, tone hard.

“Let chilnes kom na disha,” _Let peace come from this_. Lexa spoke softly, “Gei disha sadon bilaik yu tombom, nou yu melon. In taim yu na wigod op em if em ron ai ridiyo op.” _Make this decision with your heart, not your head. In time you can forgive her if she speaks true._

Clarke squeezed her eyes shut. How could Lexa possibly be more perfect? How could Lexa see the best in people. Even people like Abby?

“Fine,” Clarke growled, “My wife thinks you deserve a chance so if you hand over you Chancellorship then we can _try_...but, Mom you have to respect me, my people, my _wife_.”

Abby nodded enthusiastically, “I will, I promise I will, Clarke. I...how do you say thank you in...”

“Trigedasleng,” Clarke filled her in, “Mochof, Leksa.”

Abby focused her attention on the brunette, “Mochof, Leksa.”

“I believe it's in my wife's best interests to have a relationship with her Mother,” Lexa said firmly, “But do not see me as weak, Abby kom Skaikru, if you make an attempt on my life again then you will seal your fate.”

"I am Wanheda and I endorse this message."


	7. The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who's read this.  
> I really appreciate all of your feedback!  
> This is the last chapter and I really hope you enjoy it.  
> A friend of mine reminded me that today is Thanksgiving.  
> So happy Thanksgiving to you all!  
> She said she was thankful that she didn't need to worry about her needs,  
> food, water, shelter, medical care ect.  
> That's something to think about, not taking those things for granted.

**7\. The End**

Getting thrown in front of Marcus Kane in the makeshift board room the Arkers had set up was something that chilled her to the bone. Remanence of the last negotiations were bubbling up, settling with her unpleasantly. Marcus Kane traded her, her life, her essence. And however well that ended up working out for her she still felt that sting of betrayal from the man.

So sitting in that seat opposite him, the metal table stretching between them, a nice visual reminder that they were far apart in their views, she reminded herself that this time _she_ held the power. _She_ was the yes or no. She was the deciding factor. No one was going to give her away like property, not this time.

And Marcus Kane? At least he had the graciousness to look concerned. She could see the guilt, the regret swirling through his eyes the moment she sat down. His eyes sweeping her face dubiously but never quite meeting her eye. Her Mother and Bellamy were with him, acting as council members.

Her Mother, she could cautiously say, was on her side. The woman had so far kept her word, showing nothing but respect for the grounders but Clarke had noticed she wasn't quite convinced that she wouldn't wake up with a spear in her chest. Still, Abby _was_ trying so Clarke was going to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Bellamy however, was angry with her. Bellamy didn't understand what she'd done in the mountain. She knew it from the apprehensive glances he shot her when she walked around camp and from the angry look on his face now. He was torn. He didn't agree with Clarke's choices but his priority in this world was his sister and Octavia was with Clarke. Octavia trusted Clarke to the point of following her blindly. Clarke hoped his heart won over his head, his head would catch up. One thing was for sure, she needed to take the time to talk to Bellamy Blake.

She was glad she'd decided to go for the intimidation factor. She'd grabbed two of her biggest grounder guards that were still around and had them flag her when she entered and it paid off with the matching thoroughly impressed but slightly fearful looks from Marcus, Abby and Bellamy. The guards situating themselves standing to attention against the wall behind her and Anya joining her, standing diagonally behind her, like she would Lexa's throne.

“They've sent you to negotiate?” Marcus broke the tension filled silence, speaking gently.

“Sent? No,” Clarke shot back coldly. Forcing her facial expression to remain neutral, if there was ever a time to copy Lexa's stoicism, this was it.

Marcus' confused gaze drifted to Anya, addressing her over Clarke, _fuck you, Marcus_ , “Will Lexa be joining us?”

“ _Heda_ is indisposed,” Clarke snapped, “You may negotiate with me.”

“Do you hold enough authority to secure any deal we come to here?” Marcus asked, finally making eye contract with her.

“I hold _all_ of the authority,” Clarke bit back, “Now proceed.”

Marcus looked taken aback but quickly gathered himself, “Right...well as you know, I had a peace deal with Lex- _Heda,_ ” Marcus quickly corrected himself with the narrowing of Clarke's eyes, “And that's what I'd like to revisit.”

“I'm aware of the peace deal,” Clarke nodded, of course she remembered _that_ deal, “Remind me, this was trading seeds, tech, materials and combat styles?”

“Yes,” Marcus nodded, “As well as medicine and land, we were going to set up a radio system between Polis and all the clan leaders in exchange for land.”

Clarke nodded thoughtfully. It was a nice exchange, it would certainly be helpful if Lexa could communicate with her clans without having to send riders. She couldn't help but remember the last _exchange_ she'd heard. _Your people's protection for Klark kom Skaikru._

“My people want justice, Kane,” Clarke shrugged, “Our way is jus drein jus daun, _blood must have blood_. The commander was shot,” She sent a look at her mother, who at least looked apologetic, “If I am to move forward with no bloodshed then I'm going to need you to be incredibly willing...at my disposal in fact.”

“What exactly does that entail?”

“I want to initiate you into the coalition, I want Skaikru to be the thirteenth clan, in order to do this successfully I need _you_ ,” Clarke explained, “You're the only one I can achieve the level of peace I'm aiming for with. I need your trust and I need your fealty. I won't be able to spare bloodshed without your full trust.”

“I will do _anything_ for peace.”

Clarke smiled. Marcus Kane, she decided in that moment, was a Godsend. And with him so willing, there was no doubt Clarke would be able to navigate forward without violence. Lexa's coalition would once again have peace.

“Your presence will be required in Polis. You and your council members can accompany me and the commander when our party moves. There, you'll be introduced as the thirteenth clan and you'll meet the other clans,” Clarke explained, “After that we'll work out which groups we'll lend each other to teach and learn the ways of Saikru and Trigedakru.”

“Thank you, Clarke. I-”

“ _Haiplana,_ ” Anya spat, “She is our Queen and you will address her as such.”

“Queen?” Marcus' eyes widened.

“Mind your place,” Anya took a step forward but instantly stopped at Clarke's raised hand.

She knew why Anya had done it. Anya wanted Clarke to show Marcus just how powerful she was, that she could stop grounders by a raise of her hand and for that, she thanked Anya. Marcus wouldn't be underestimating her again.

“Do we have a deal, Marcus kom Skaikru?” Clarke raised her eyebrow.

Marcus nodded, “Yes. Yes, absolutely. Thank you... _Queen._ ”

Clarke nodded, glancing from Anya to Abby and nodding to the door, “Leave us.”

Anya and her guards knew how to take a direct order and left immediately but Abby and Bellamy didn't quite get the message.

“Bellamy, Abby,” She addressed them, “Please leave us, Marcus and I have something private to discuss.”

Abby nodded, sending Clarke a small smiled before leaving with Bellamy trailing after her. Clarke's attention fell back to Kane.

“Clarke-”

“No,” Clarke cut him off, “I don't agree with what you did, trading someone is crossing a line but...I'm a leader now and as a leader I do understand and respect that you have to make hard decisions, decisions that aren't popular with everyone.”

“Can I explain why?” Marcus' asked, waiting for Clarke to nod, “My priority was getting safety for us on Earth. That deal...I couldn't turn it down, every single person under my care safe, protected?”

“Except me.”

“Except you,” Marcus nodded sadly, “My plan was to try and get you back once the grounders could see what we had to offer but I did chose to sacrifice you for the good of everyone else. And although I know your view of me isn't the best now, I hoped that you and I would be similar in a sense.”

“How?” Clarke narrowed her eyes.

“I also have a mother, I also have friends, people who I love,” Marcus shrugged, his eyes open, vulnerable. Begging for understanding, “I hoped that you'd see your sacrifice as a way to ensure the safety of _your_ loved ones as I would sacrifice myself for mine.”

“I have no doubt that you would,” Clarke agreed, “But you didn't give me a choice. If you had then I might've agreed but you didn't."

She understood where Marcus was coming from and she would've probably chosen the same if she'd been in his position. When the deal had been made she knew nothing of leadership but now, duty came first and duty wasn't easy. The leader in her, the _H_ _aiplana_ that she was understood. The girl though, Clarke, she couldn't forget the feeling of being so utterly used by her own people. How _expendable_ they really thought she was.

“I'm sorry,” Marcus said, the words simple and genuine.

Clarke nodded. She understood that too. She was sorry for choices she'd had to make too, that didn't mean she regretted them nor did it mean she wouldn't make the same choices again if she had to. But Marcus simply acknowledging that he was sorry he had to do that in the first place? Maybe forgiveness wasn't so far away after all.

“I owe you some thanks,” Clarke mused, “I love my wife.”

“I...I'm glad, I-”

“Marcus,” Clarke levelled him with a steady gaze, “I need you for this coalition, I need you to remain in power and we can achieve that together but you must never tell anyone how my marriage came about. You and Raven are the only Skaikru with that knowledge and it _has_ to stay that way.”

“Absolutely,” Marcus agreed, “You have my full support.”

Clarke nodded, standing and offering her arm to Kane who shook it enthusiastically, “Then we're in agreement.”

\- - - - - - - - - -

Healing was a natural thing. Be it body, mind or soul. And each and every injury took it's own specific time. Lexa healed relatively quickly but Clarke still though it was not quick enough. A part of her just assumed that Lexa - the powerful, feared, Heda – would be jumping up and swinging her sword around the day she had her IV's out. But that wasn't the case.

It'd taken a while for Lexa to get out of the medical bay and even then, she had to do some rehab exercises. It wasn't the bullet wound itself that was causing her issues, it was the muscle damage. Making it very painful for her to do anything that caused her abdominals to stretch. Luckily she had her self proclaimed 'naughty nurse' to help her out.

Things with Abby were settling down a little bit. Clarke had been way more focused on Lexa than anyone else so she hadn't spent much time with her Mom but so far, Abby had been trying incredibly hard to be on good terms. Not even commenting when she'd walked in on Lexa trying to get some.

“What's wrong?” Clarke asked, strolling into the room to see Lexa looking slightly upset, sitting on the bed.

Lexa shrugged, patting the spot next to her. As soon as Clarke had jumped up, her arms surrounded the blonde, her face nuzzling into Clarke's neck.

“Did you miss me?” Clarke grinned, fingers tangling at the back of Lexa's neck.

“Yes,” Lexa's voice was muffled, her lips trailing downwards, skimming the blonde's collarbone, “I miss you every time you leave, even if it is only for a few minutes.”

“What are you doing?” Clarke's voice took on a naughty tone once she'd noticed Lexa's decent into her cleavage.

“I want you,” Lexa nibbled down as far as she could reach.

“Lex,” Clarke whined, nudging at Lexa's face with her fingers until the brunette was looking at her and leaning in for a quick kiss, “You can have me all you want once you're cleared.”

Lexa hooked her finger into the front of Clarke's shirt, making a show of pulling it out and peeking down, “Perhaps a glance would be an incentive enough preview of my prize for finishing physical therapy?”

“Stop!” Clarke giggled, slapping away Lexa's hands, “If you want some sugar then you need to get cleared first.”

“I nearly died, Clarke,” Lexa said with a pout, “You should definitely let me see your boobs.”

“Lexa! Don't even joke,” Clarke scoffed, giving Lexa a shove.

“What's the point in you claiming you're a naughty nurse if you aren't going to follow through?”

Clarke giggled, sweeping her thumb over Lexa's quirked eyebrow and pressing a kiss to Lexa's pout but pulling away when they heard someone clear their throat from the doorway. Turning to see Abby looking mildly uncomfortable.

“No strenuous activity, Lexa,” She said, tone teasing.

Clarke's eyes widened slightly at her Mother's casual attitude and hid her face in Lexa's shoulder, drawing strength from the brunette's hand squeezing her knee.

Abby had even spoken to Lexa, not that Lexa would tell Clarke what had been said. But apparently Abby had attempted to clear the air and Lexa felt that they'd left things on a good note. Clarke was yet again amazed at how understanding Lexa was, putting her feeling aside about someone that shot her just to give Clarke a chance to have a real relationship with her Mother. Of course Lexa was more concerned with how Clarke felt about the whole situation.

“Are you angry that I pushed you into trying with her?” Lexa asked the next day.

Clarke looked up from where she was sketching, eyeing Lexa on the other side of the couch.

“I wouldn't say you pushed me,” Clarke shrugged, “And I know that you would've supported me if I'd decided not to give her a chance.”

Lexa nodded, “Of course but I...I want you to know that I'd never make any decisions for you.”

“I know,” A smirk came to Clarke's face, “I'm _your_ Commander after all.”

Lexa laughed, nudging Clarke's shin with her foot.

\- - - - - - - - - -

While Lexa was doing some physical therapy with Abby, Clarke decided that it was time to talk to Raven. She'd put it off long enough, she knew it was bad but she'd been so focused on Lexa and it wasn't exactly going to be the easiest conversation to have.

So she steeled herself as she wandered through the camp to find her friend, eventually asking Bellamy if he'd seen the Latina before he'd pointed her in the direction of the stream. She found Raven sitting on a rock, staring out at the beautiful scene in front of her.

“How are you holding up?” Clarke asked, sitting herself next to Raven but keeping a little distance.

Raven turned to her, emotions swimming in her eyes as she shrugged sadly, “It's just a lot, you know?”

Clarke nodded, not knowing what else to say. _Yes, it is a lot. More than a lot._ Watching who you thought was the love of your life murdered in front of you only to find out you never knew him at all? Yikes.

“I don't want to make you uncomfortable, Clarke but...” Raven paused, her expression softening.

“I'll answer any questions you have, Rae. I told you I would.”

Raven nodded slowly, eyes flickering from Clarke to the stream, “Just...what, how did it happen?”

Clarke took a breath, “I...In lock up we were allowed to spend a little bit of time with the other prisoners. Not often but...sometimes. It was better than nothing, you know?” She licked her lips, watching Raven nod in agreement, “That's where I met... _him_. And we...we _did_ flirt. He was nice to me and I think...maybe we could've been friends if...then one day he came into the shower block when I was in there and he...”

“Yeah,” Raven nodded, lips pressing into a thin line.

“He acted like I wanted it but I _didn't_ ,” Clarke shrugged.

“Did you know about me?” Raven asked, face open, vulnerable but Clarke shook her head no, “How long did...were there more times?”

Clarke nodded, “A couple of times a month for maybe six months.”

“Jesus, Clarke,” Raven's eyes brimmed with tears, “I'm so, _so_ sorry.”

“Hey,” Clarke wrapped an arm around her friend, pulling them together in a sideways hug.

They sat silently for a little while, just letting the information sink in and using the physical closeness as crutch until...

“What did you mean when you said he tried again?”

“Just that,” Clarke paused, taking a deep breath, “I ran to the crash site because I knew that Octavia was there but before I could get to her, he grabbed me. He had me on the floor and he was going to...but I managed to run and that's why Lexa...she saw him with his pants undone and she knew he wasn't going to stop but I-”

“It's okay, Clarke,” Raven cut her off, seeing that Clarke was getting upset, “You don't have to defend Lexa's actions to me. I _know_ that Lexa is responsible for everyone on the ground, I _know_ that Lexa is a fair leader and I _know_ that Lexa would move mountains to keep you out of harms way. I already spoke to Lexa, we're good.”

“You have?”

Raven nodded, “You were sleeping in her lap. Did you know that she was actually showing him mercy?”

“What?” Clarke asked, eyebrows raising in surprise.

“Anya told me that usually for crimes like that they'd tie the rapist to a tree, sodomise them and cut them until they bled out,” Raven looked like she was going to be sick, “Lexa saved Finn that torture for _me_. Because she's friends with _me._ ”

“That's brutal,” Clarke's face pulled into worry, “I...does it make me a bad person that I...wouldn't have objected to that?”

“Only you can answer that,” Raven shrugged, “Only you know exactly what he put you through but I don't think so. Sometimes there's a thin line between revenge and justice.”

Clarke nodded sadly, “Lexa doesn't enjoy the rules she has to enforce sometimes.”

“Yeah but she does right by her people and _we_ are her people,” Raven said, pulling a watery smile from Clarke.

“We are _so_ her people,” She agreed, “Do you think...do you think you'll ever get over...losing him?”

Raven shrugged, “I'm working on it. And I've had some help.”

“Oh?” Clarke cocked her head to the side questioningly.

“Anya's been helpful.”

This made Clarke smirk, “Anya huh?”

“Shut up,” Raven laughed, bumping her shoulder against Clarke's, “You're the only grounder pounder around here.”

“Grounder pounder?!” Clarke spluttered a laugh.

“Octavia,” Raven supplied.

Clarke shook her head. _Of course._ She lent her head against Raven's, “We're going to be okay, right?”

“Yeah,” Raven mused, “I think we will.”

\- - - - - - - - - -

After Raven came Bellamy. And boy was she dreading that. She waited until nightfall, there was something about the darkness that steadied her. The shadows, the ambiance, it seemed fitting for the occasion. She spend the first half of the evening with Octavia, keeping an eye on Bellamy who was drinking around a camp fire with a couple of friends and as soon as they dispersed she used his solitude as an excuse to seek him out. She grabbed a couple of mugs of moonshine and made her way over.

He eyed her warily when she held one out to him but the challenging eyebrow she raised was enough for him to accept it and she sat down next to him on the large log the Arkers had dragged in from the woods.

“Wanheda,” He greeted with a bite, breaking the silence as Clarke watched the flicker of the flames.

“I know you don't agree with what I did, Bell,” She said softly.

“You turned a rescue mission into a massacre,” He stated bluntly.

She sighed. She supposed she had. Was there a different way for that to end? She didn't know. But she had _tried_ and if Cage hadn't taken over then maybe with Dante's alliance...but then, would the Skaikru have willingly donated their bone marrow? After some of them being kept in cages? They were so quick to overturn Marcus because they thought they could overpower Trigeda with their guns. Maybe the alliance would've only lasted long enough for those members to act with violence again. Maybe the mountain men dying was inevitable and she just hurried along their fate.

“Yeah,” She said instead, there was no point in arguing with Bellamy. He was upset and she _had_ killed them.

“There were innocent people in there, Clarke,” He continued, “Kids...”

Yes. Kids. Innocent, mountain children who knew nothing of the outside world and now, thanks to Clarke, never would.

“I know,” She said sadly, “I'm the one that has to live with it.”

“I'm pretty sure they just wanted to _live_ ,” He spat.

And it hurt. Yeah, she's sure there were people that did just want to live. That wanted no part in that war. But she had to take a leaf out of Lexa's book so she didn't crumble.

“We are who we are, Bell,” She shrugged, “They were part of the mountain and some of them were innocently caught up in it all...but my duty to my people...” She swallowed thickly, “I don't know what would've happened if I hadn't pulled that lever but I did. I made a decision for my people and I can't take it back.”

“Did Lexa turn you into this?” He asked, making her falter, “Being her wife, does that mean you have to become a murderer?”

Her eyes squeezed shut. That would be a nice, tidy cop out. Yes, when you're Lexa's wife you have to kill. Would that be forgivable? Would that make it okay?

“No,” She shook her head, “Being Lexa's wife only entails loving Lexa. Being Haiplana, being Queen...that does give me a duty to do what's best for my people, to make tough decisions that aren't always be right. And it sometimes involves deciding who dies...but Lexa? No, I didn't do it for Lexa. She would never ask me to kill anyone.”

“What you did-”

“They were killing my people so I stopped them,” Clarke interrupted, pushing herself to take in the disappointment in his eyes.

“You're so _cold_ ,” He shook his head, his wild hair falling over his eyes with the movement, “ You talk about it like it's so black and white”

“That doesn't mean I don't feel it, _Jesus,_ Bell,” Her face softened, “The guilt sits with me everyday.”

“I'm glad, it _should_ ,” He snapped.

“And it _does_.”

“Why did you come over here, Clarke? Forgiveness?” He frowned after a pregnant pause, speaking softer.

She shook her head, “I don't know if I deserve forgiveness but I...we're in peace and I want to enjoy that with you. I don't want our time to be filled with animosity...we're on Earth, we're free...I-”

“I'm not,” He spat, “You don't think that they're going to lock me up again? I _shot_ Jaha, Clarke, I-”

“Yeah, well my _Mom_ shot Lexa and I absolved her,” Clarke shrugged, “I have power here, Bell. It's _my_ decision if you're locked up or not.”

“Just like that? You're going to absolve me of my crime?”

She nodded, “Yeah, just like that. You should be able to enjoy Earth, Bellamy. I want you to come to Polis, I want you to train with Indra and become a guard.”

“A guard...” His mouth opened in shock.

“I know how much you loved being a part of the guard on the Ark, you worked so hard to get there,” She continued softly, “It isn't the same thing but I...it's a decent position and you'd work for me in Polis. Octavia is coming to Polis to so you'd be close to her and-”

“Thank you,” He cut her off, wrapping his arms around her in a hug and she felt all her tension fade. It wasn't forgiveness, she knew that but it was a start.

“You accept?” She asked, burying her face in his neck.

“Yeah, I...yeah,” He nodded, “I wanted to do something honorable, the guard was...I never thought I'd get that chance again.”

“I think you'll like Polis, Bell,” She smiled, “It's nothing like you've ever seen.”

\- - - - - - - - - -

Octavia annoyed Anya. There was no doubt about it. Octavia was everything Anya despised in a human. She was bubbly, energetic, loud. She talked a mile a minute. She was brash, bold and she didn't do as she was told. But the one thing Anya _did_ admire about the youngest Blake was her brutal sense of honesty. Especially when it came to Clarke.

And that's how Clarke found herself absolutely _not_ amused on their way back to Polis with Octavia giving Anya every embarrassing detail of Clarke's entire life while Lexa shot her what was supposed to be sympathetic looks but only came across as amused. Lincoln was as silent as ever, completely unaffected by the conversation and plodding along in front with Bellamy, Raven and Marcus. And Abby...well Abby was shooting Clarke more disapproving looks by the second.

“So she got totally drunk and she was sucking face with this girl from sector five,” Octavia's excited voice echoed off the trees, “And we were all just sitting there, like what the fuck? And Clarke pulls away, looks at the girl and just goes 'so, uh, what's your name?'! I swear I laughed so hard a little pee came out and-”

“So Clarke's always been easy? No surprises there.”

“Anya!” Clarke snapped, “I'm not easy! _You_ could never get me, for example.”

“Oh please,” Anya rolled her eyes, “You saw Lexa naked _once_ and immediately dropped your panties. And _I_ could seduce you anytime I wanted.”

“We were getting married the next day! That doesn't count!” Clarke huffed. Her ears turning pink, she couldn't believe she was having this conversation, _especially_ in front of her Mom, “And you _could not_.”

“Yes I could,” Anya shrugged confidently, “But just because Lexa wants to be inside you doesn't mean-”

“Onya, em pleni,” Lexa cut her off, wrinkling her nose in disgust at the crassness.

“You could never be _inside_ me,” Clarke grumbled under her breath. Making Anya roll her eyes before Octavia piped up again.

“There was also this one time Clarke peed her pants because-”

“Octavia!” Clarke whined, cheeks pink, “Please stop.”

“No way!” Octavia laughed, “Anya's your best friend down here so me and her need to bond, what better way?”

“Ugh, literally _any_ other way,” Clarke groaned but felt a hand on the small of her back.

“You won't forget _my_ name will you?” Lexa's lips brushed against the shell of her ear.

Clarke frowned, looking at Lexa's face and cocking an eyebrow, “Who are you again?”

Lexa's smirk turned dangerous, she grabbed Clarke's wrist and pulled her off the path, causing the blonde to yelp as she was jerked behind a tree before being pushed up against it.

“I'll have to remind you,” Lexa said, voice husky and hands grabbing fistfuls of Clarke's ass, making her gasp.

“Mhm,” Clarke moaned, bucking into the thigh between her legs, “Please remind me _real good_.”

Lexa nodded, slanting her lips over Clarke's and expertly popping the button on the jeans the blonde was wearing.

She felt those skilled fingers climbing up her shirt, stroking over the soft skin of her belly. Lexa's tongue stroking into her mouth, making her moan. She could feel the bark of the tree pressing uncomfortably into the skin on her back where her shirt had ridden up but it was forgotten about as soon as Lexa's fingers were tugging the cup of her bra down. Her other hand still palming the blondes ass.

“Fuck,” Clarke moaned into Lexa's mouth, the feeling of Lexa's thumb stroking over her nipple shooting straight to her core like lava.

“Such a dirty mouth,” Lexa chuckled, lips moving to Clarke's jaw, nipping and soothing with a wet tongue.

Clarke's breath came out in pants. It was no secret that Lexa liked her curves but the way Lexa handled her _always_ had her on the edge. The brunette grabbed her ass in both hands once again, using it as leverage and grinding their hips together deeply. Her mouth chasing Clarke's, nibbling on her bottom lip.

“Lexa! Please-”

“So you _do_ remember my name?” Lexa rose a teasing eyebrow, palming Clarke's thigh and lifting it around her hip.

“Yes,” Clarke hissed.

Lexa used her chin to pull the neck of Clarke's shirt out, pushing her face down to press her tongue against Clarke's nipple, licking at it. Clarke whined, rutting her hips into Lexa's, throwing her head back. Lexa's hand palming her hip as the other snaked into her jeans, fingers pressing into slick folds.

“You're always so ready for me,” Lexa husked, suckling at Clarke's breast. The vibration of her voice setting Clarke alight.

Her thumb was quick to find Clarke's clit, spreading the moisture there to create slippery circles. Her fingers dipping teasingly into the blonde's entrance until Clarke groaned.

“Quit teasing,” She dug her heel into Lexa, pulling the brunette closer.

Lexa obliged, sinking two fingers in straight away, both of them moaning at the sensation. Clarke's nails found Lexa's shoulders, her teeth sinking into her lip to keep quiet, her wife filling her so deliciously making her whimper.

“You're so perfect,” Lexa moaned, nuzzling at Clarke's ample cleavage.

“Don't be sappy,” Clarke growled, her voice thick with arousal, hips canting against Lexa's hand, “Just fuck me.”

Lexa nodded dutifully, indulging herself with feeling the stretch of Clarke around her fingers before thrusting them deeper, hooking them to bump against Clarke's front wall. Earning a loud moan. She rocked her hips, aiding the pumping of her fingers, pushing them deeper. Slanting her mouth over Clarke's wetly to swallow her moans.

Clarke wanted to be fucked and Lexa was without a doubt _fucking_ her. Roughly penetrating her, building her, filling her again and again, helping her climb to that edge. Her thumb pressing smoothly to Clarke's clit, the pressure with every thrust overwhelming. Clarke groaned, her hips working overtime to keep up with the punishing pace.

Her mouth left Lexa's, lips finding the brunette's shoulder, ready to bite down when her climax hit and Lexa's mouth found her pulse point. Nibbling and licking at it, adding to the sensation and sending Clarke into overdrive.

Lexa's fingertips colliding with Clarke's front wall once more sent her over, shaking and clenching around Lexa's fingers. Her teeth sinking into skin, liquid gushing over Lexa's digits. Her eyes squeezing shut, guttural moans leaving her throat. Lexa slowed her pace but didn't stop, gently filling Clarke and rocking to help her ride out her high.

Clarke stayed still, fluttering around Lexa as she came down from her peak. Enjoying the added stimulation, the gentle touch that was just so _Lexa_. She let out lazy little sighs against Lexa's neck. Her body feeling weightless, she lowered her leg. Effectively making Lexa draw her hand away. She watched with tired eyes as Lexa sucked on her fingers, cleaning them off and getting a taste of Clarke at the same time.

“I cannot wait to get back to Polis so I can take as long as I like to taste you,” Lexa mused, giving her fingers one last lick before pressing a kiss to Clarke's mouth.

Clarke hummed, chasing after Lexa's lips when the brunette pulled away, she did enjoy the taste of herself after all but perhaps not as much as Lexa did.

“C'mon, we better catch up,” Clarke nudged her, pulling her bra back into place.

“Indeed,” Lexa nodded, stealing one last kiss.

Coming out from behind that bush, catching up to the others and catching eyes with her Mother while her hair was a mess, her lips were bruised and her pants were still open immediately killed her after glow.

\- - - - - - - - - -

They'd set up camp for the night and were sitting around the fire – minus Lexa, who'd gone to grab some water and Lincoln who was fetching them something to eat with Marcus - that Lexa had created and passing around a bottle of moonshine that Octavia had swiped from Monty when Clarke felt a blinding pain in her thigh. She froze for a moment before her eyes narrowed in on Anya.

“Holy shit!” Octavia gasped.

“What the hell?!” Bellamy shouted, anger rising.

“Let Lexa deal with it,” Raven shook her head, rolling her eyes, “Trust me.”

“You...you stabbed me in the leg.”

Anya shrugged, “You said I'd never be inside you.”

Blue eyes widened in disbelief, “You... _Anya,_ you stabbed me in the leg!”

Anya's features showed nothing but boredom as she shrugged, eyes lazily grazing over the blade that was firmly planted in the blonde's thigh.

“You stabbed me! What the fuck, Anya?!”

“You said I'd never be inside you, now I have,” Anya drawled.

“Evidently!” The blonde spluttered.

“Honey! We need to get you-” Abby was cut off.

“Chit don kom au?” _What happened?_ Lexa's voice boomed with power as she swept in, kneeing in front of Clarke to assess the damage – minimal, of course. Anya knew how to stab people without doing much damage – and using her own knife to rip a strip of her material from the bottom of her shirt, “Chit a disha?” _What is this?_

“Onya wak op ai!” _Anya stabbed me!_ Clarke groaned, hissing in pain when Lexa pressed down near the wound.

“Can we please speak English?” Abby said but was ignored.

“Yu wak op ai houmon?” _You stabbed my wife?_ Lexa spat, venom dripping from her tone.

“Em's ai fodwin lukot, ai na wak op em if ai gaf bi,” _She's my best friend. I can stab her if I want to._ Anya rolled her eyes.

“Ha-” _How._ Lexa turned to Anya in a flash, teeth bared.

“Wait!” Clarke cut Lexa off, switching back to English, “Did you just admit that we're best friends?”

“Oh no,” Anya's eyes widened at her mistake, “No! I take it back!”

“You did!” Clarke launched herself at Anya, forgetting about the knife in her leg before letting out a cry at the shooting pain.

“Get it off me!” Anya groaned, pushing Clarke back into Lexa's waiting arms.

Lexa was quick to situate Clarke back on the blanket, pressing her hand above the knife and removing it out with one, sharp pull and dousing the wound in 'Monty's Moonshine' before quickly using the cloth to tie it.

Clarke thanked her with a kiss before settling back next to Anya, leaning into the blonde and grinning up at her.

“Hey, bff,” She giggled.

“No,” Anya growled, “I hate you.”

“You looove me,” Clarke poked her in the ribs before both girls attention got pulled onto Lexa who had taken a handful of berries out of her pouch, “Oo, are they the ones I like?”

“Sha,” Lexa nodded, letting them fall into Clarke's waiting hand.

“Share, best friend,” Anya teased, stealing one and shoving it into her mouth.

Bellamy, Octavia and Abby just sat there with shocked expressions while Raven looked slightly amused.

“So...are we just gonna act like this is normal then?” Bellamy asked.

“Actually this _is_ pretty normal for Clanya,” Raven shrugged.

“Clanya?” Lexa cocked her head to the side, “Chit a disha?” _What is this?_

“It's their ship name,” Raven explained, “Like their names together? You and Clarke are-”

“Clexa!” Octavia exclaimed, eyes wide and excited.

“Clarke?” Lexa said softly, extending the 'a', waiting until blue eyes connected with hers, “I'm scared.”

Clarke giggled, grabbed Lexa's hand and pulled the brunette next to her and into her side, “Don't be scared, Baby, this is called friendship. You didn't know what it was like before because your only pal was _Anya_.”

Everyone laughed but Anya and Clarke's laugh immediately turned into a hiss of pain when Anya decided to press on her knife wound in retaliation.

\- - - - - - - - - -

Once they were back in Polis things seemed to calm down slightly. Lexa gave everyone rooms to stay in, in the tower. Clarke had given her room to her Mom – which Marcus followed the older blonde into but Clarke _was not_ going to think about _that_ \- and they gave everyone a tour of Polis. Marcus was especially taken by the market, Octavia was enthralled by the training grounds, Abby had to be practically dragged out of the building they kept their home made medicine in and Bellamy...well Bellamy's attention seemed to be taken by an Ice Nation spy named Echo.

A few days later Kane and Abby were introduced to the ambassadors. When Clarke had settled straight away into her spot by Lexa's legs in the meeting, Abby seemed slightly wary, possibly disapproving, but she soon relaxed when she noticed just how warmly everyone welcomed Clarke and Lexa back Polis. Especially at how _loud_ Clarke laughed when Luna told her that having her back was _'bitchin'._ It was decided that Clarke would act not only as Haiplana but also as Skaikru ambassador since she was the reason for Skaikru to be introduced as the thirteenth clan.

The only clan that had any issues with Skaikru joining the coalition was Azgeda, the Ice Nation. It wasn't a surprise really, they'd been the last clan to fall in line and there were still some Azgedakru who believed in Nia's ways over Roan's. Fancying one of their own as Heda instead of Lexa. The alliance with them had always had some sharp edges. The current Ice Nation ambassador, Hekta caused an issue.

“Disha natronas ein monin tha oso,” _These traitors aren't welcome among us!_ Hekta spat, standing from his seat.

Clarke was standing in seconds, jaw clenched but stopped her pursuit when Lexa's hand rested on the small of her back. Clarke noticed a look of fear crossing Abby's face. She understood, if this had been when she first got here then she would've been scared too. The way grounders interacted and held themselves was intimidating. But this _wasn't_ her first day and Clarke _could_ give as good as she got.

Lexa was the picture of calm, her expression as stoic as ever, “Natronas? Skaikru ei Klark's kru. Yu ste bako ai houmon, yu Haiplana, natrona?” _Traitors? Skaikru are Clarke's people. Are you calling my wife, your Queen, a traitor?_

Hekta was only phased for a second before schooling his features, “Disha kru ron fayagon, gon auda maun en yu wich op emo?” _These people use guns, the weapon of the mountain and you trust them?_

“Ai wich op ai houmon. A ste yu.” _I trust my wife. As will you._ Lexa's tone was as dismissive as ever but Hekta wasn't done.

A dark chuckle left Hekta's mouth, “Boss Heda en em kwelnes fe pri gadas cludig em thinka. Tel op, Leksa, osir na yu wich op em de em ha nou ad so lit bi fou I yu biskovas?” _The great Commander and her weakness for pretty girls clouding her judgment. Tell me, Lexa, would you trust her if she hadn't been so eager to lay in your furs?_

Well that did it. Clarke was in front of Hekta in seconds, leaving Lexa's side and drawing her dagger, “Em pleni!” _Enough!_ She spat, tone dripping with venom, “Hod yu rein daun o ai eno yu.” _Mind your place or I'll end you myself._

“Yu bozi ona Heda's shilnes, stik gada.” _You're brave under the Commanders protection, little girl._

Clarke's eyes narrowed, who the fuck did this Hekta bitch think he was? She saw her Mom looking terrified and Lexa looking absolutely lethal, she caught Lexa's eye.

“You're gonna let me kill this bitch, right?” Clarke asked.

“No,” Lexa shook her head gently, “You have too much blood on your hands already, Wanheda.”

Switching her attention to Lexa turned out to be a bad idea, she noticed Kane's eyes widening, she noticed the look of horror on her Mom's face, she felt the gust of air as something was quickly raised above her head from behind her. But Lexa had quick reflexes, quicker than anyone else in the room. Lexa pulled her forwards, making their bodies crash together, at the same time throwing her own dagger.

There was an audible gasp from Abby and Kane as Clarke turned around in time to see Hekta – who's arm was raised with his own dagger pointed towards where Clarke's head would've been – slumping to the ground, Lexa's dagger firmly planted in his eye.

Lexa firmly fixed her eye's on every other ambassador in turn. Chin tilted in defiance. Keeping one arm steadily looped around Clarke's waist.

She imagined how this must look to Kane and Abby. It must be frightening but also impressive, she'd been impressed by Lexa. The regal stoicism, the power, the skill. It was all impressive. But with Hekta aiming to hurt her? That must've been a shock to the system. Clarke didn't feel unsafe with how quickly things could turn south because she trusted Lexa and her guards to keep her safe but if she didn't have that security? Maybe she'd be scared all the time.

“Would anyone else like to question my wife's decisions?” Lexa challenged, tone icey and of course no one said anything, making Lexa nod, “Indra, send a rider to Azgeda, Roan needs to send a new ambassador. Explain that his current one is...of no use,” The distaste in Lexa's tone was evident, the brunette took her place back on her throne, “Now let's proceed.”

After that everyone fell in line, welcoming Skaikru into the coalition and celebrating having a new clan to ally with. Marcus received the brand and a street party was set for that evening. _Of course_. If there was one thing you could count on from the people of Polis was a street party if anyone even mentioned celebrating.

\- - - - - - - - - - -

She had a few hours before she had to get ready for the street party, so she was laying lazily on her belly, on their bed, sketching when Lexa came in looking pale and worried.

“Lex?”

Lexa sank to the ground, back pressed to their bed, covering her face with her hands. Clarke scrambled to get up quickly, kneeling in front of her wife.

“What happened?” Clarke asked, worried.

“Clarke...I-” Lexa shook her head, eyes flittering around the room before settling on Clarke's chest, “Let me see your boobs, I- I need to see your boobs.”

“What?” Clarke's eyebrows shot to her hairline.

“Please, Clarke,” Lexa pouted, “I need to either see your boobs or bleach my eyes to erase what I just saw!”

“Okay, okay,” Clarke straddled Lexa's outstretched legs and pulled her shirt over her unbound breasts. Lexa immediately pressed her face into them, sighing in contentment, Clarke's hand falling to the back of Lexa's nuzzling head, “What happened?”

“I just- I...walking in and-” Lexa grumbled, her voice muffled by Clarke's chest, “Anya and...and...and...”

“You're okay,” Clarke cooed, stroking Lexa's hair, “You went to see Anya and when you walked in...?”

“Anya and- Oh God, I can never un-see it,” Lexa pouted, “Anya and...”

“What was Anya doing?”

The next word that left Lexa's mouth made Clarke gasped in surprise, “Raven.”

“What?!” Clarke's eyes widened, “Anya and Raven?! No fucking way! What were they doing?”

A shudder went through Lexa as she pulled a face, “They...they were naked.”

“Aww, my poor baby,” Clarke teased, “Did you see Anya's bare ass?”

Lexa nodded sadly, “And Raven's boobs.”

Clarke giggled, pressing a kiss to Lexa's pout, “Would it make you feel better if you got me naked for a little while?”

“Yes,” Lexa nodded, still looking like a puppy while she pressed her open mouth to Clarke's cleavage.

She mouthed at the flesh she found there. Her eyes darkening. Her arms hugging the blonde to her. She stood easily. Clarke would never get over that sensation, Lexa lifting her like she weighed nothing. There was something primal about it, something arousing. Something that never failed to make her core clench with need for the brunette. She was set gently on the bed.

Lexa pulled her pants off, making her giggle when the brunette kissed her toes and then there were hands on her hips, urging her to turn over until she was bent over the bed. A knee nudging her legs apart until she was on full display to Lexa, whose greedy eyes shamelessly took in the sight before her.

“I didn't think it was possible to desire someone as much as I desire you,” Lexa's voice washed over her like a caress, gliding over her skin and settling between her legs.

“Lex,” Clarke groaned, swaying her ass to try and entice Lexa into action but the brunette didn't falter, instead smoothing her palm over the swell of Clarke's ass. Her gaze never wavering from between the blondes legs.

“It's like your body was made specifically for my carnal desires, Clarke,” Lexa went on, her voice getting hoarser by the second, making the arousal evident.

“Maybe it was made for you to _fuck_ , Lexa,” Clarke teased, biting her lip to stop her smile when she heard the noise she'd induced from the back of Lexa's throat.

Lexa's fingers trailed up her thigh, meeting stickiness before they even hit her most intimate place. It took the feel of Lexa's breath against her wetness for her to realize that Lexa had gotten onto her knees, the breath fanning over her, stimulating her.

Her lips hit Clarke's thigh, making the blonde twitch. Her tongue licking at the salty flesh as she nosed her way to where Clarke wanted her the most. But she wasn't done teasing and Clarke could _feel_ the grin on the brunette's face as she pressed open mouthed kisses around the area but not directly on it, making Clarke's body writhe in anticipation.

“ _Lexa_ ,” Clarke whined, impatient, “Please just-”

She was cut off by Lexa tongue, swiping flatly up her in one long lick before her tongue was reaching into Clarke. Lexa moaned at how tasty the wetness was. Clarke, unable to keep still, wiggled her ass and Lexa took it as encouragement to push her face firmer and deeper into Clarke's skin. Her hands met Clarke's ass, grabbing fistfuls, the generous amount of flesh spilling through her fingers.

Clarke whimpered, pushing her ass back into Lexa's face, her inner walls practically sucking on the tongue within them. Lexa pushed as deep as she could, tongue fucking Clarke until the need for air became too much. She pulled back minimally and started lapping at Clarke like she was starved of _this_. After a steamy breath her mouth was on Clarke's clit, making Clarke hiss. Lexa couldn't get enough, alternating between licking at it and sucking on it, making Clarke squirm.

“Oh my God!” Clarke cried out, feeling Lexa's fingers dragging their way up the back of her thigh as Lexa rammed her tongue back into Clarke. Clarke's essence flowing out of her hot and wet.

Lexa's tongue was back on her clit when she felt the brunette's fingers start to feed into her, sliding easily. She was too wet for any resistance. Lexa didn't hesitate before her fingers were slamming into Clarke's body, pumping at a furious pace. Clarke whimpering with each stroke inside her. Lexa's hot tongue firmly dragging over her clit again and again.

The fingers of the hand Lexa had on Clarke's ass tightened when Lexa started to feel Clarke tremble. Lexa's own moan vibrating into Clarke. She pushed deeper, her fingers fucking into the blonde. It was her favorite sight of all, to watch Clarke reach the point of no return and fall over that edge. Which she did, clumsily. Her body shaking.

Lexa kept up her pace, using her tongue to force tremors of pleasure through Clarke with every wave of her orgasm. Only slowing down when the blonde hissed with sensitivity and she withdrew her fingers. Clarke being sensitive didn't stop Lexa from taking her time in cleaning the blonde up though.

This was also something Lexa loved to do. Gently, diligently using her tongue to finish every last drop of Clarke's essence she could find while Clarke recovered from an intense orgasm. And when she was done she helped the blonde onto the bed properly, laying down with her and holding her.

She pushed some of Clarke's hair away from her sweaty neck where it was clinging, “I enjoyed that very much.”

Clarke watched the motion as Lexa licked her lips and raised an eyebrow, “Really? I couldn't tell.”

Lexa smirked.

“Get your clothes off,” Clarke frowned, wondering why Lexa was still fully dressed.

“We don't have time,” Lexa smiled, stroking her fingers against Clarke's breast, “We need to get ready, we are rather important after all.”

“Oh,” Clarke teased, “Well if we're _rather important._ ”

She giggled, catching Lexa in a kiss.

\- - - - - - - - - -

The street party was perfect. She was forever grateful that everyone important to her could experience this side of Polis and she could tell that they were having a good time. She wondered if this was maybe the best time they'd ever had. There were party's on the Ark but never with this degree of spoils. Food was always rationed and alcohols was hard to get hold of, you could trade for it but it would cost you dearly. The teenagers were actually more accustom to drinking because Monty would share his moonshine. If he'd ever gotten caught making it though – well that would've cost him even dearer.

She didn't get drunk this time, nor did she dance. Not for her lacking the festive mood but she was happy to simply sit back and watch her people have a good time. So she sat with Anya and Lexa, being joined sporadically by others throughout the night.

She watched her Mom and Kane dancing, tried not to grimace too much but when she caught Anya laughing at her she had to make a gagging noise.

She watched Lincoln pull a blushing Octavia to the dance floor and she nodded her approval. She couldn't think of anyone better than the steady, calming influence of Lincoln for her best friend.

She watched as Bellamy hung around Echo all night, the Ice Nation spy smiling pettily when Bellamy got her a drink.

Yeah, she was grateful. This is the life everyone dreamed of up on the Ark. This is the life everyone deserved.

And this time she didn't need to dance with Lexa out of sight. She knew she belonged here. These were _her_ people. She leant into Lexa adoringly.

Raven sat down next to her with a heavy thump. Smiling and slightly sweaty from dancing, smelling sweet from the wine.

“Raven,” Clarke smiled, a teasing lilt entering her voice, “Fancy seeing you here, sitting near Anya.”

Raven's eyebrows shot up in surprise before a smirk overtook her face, “Yep, I've officially joined your club, Griff.”

“My club?” Clarke frowned in confusion, ignoring Anya's narrowed eyes.

“Your grounder pounder club,” Raven chuckled.

“Grounder pounder club?” Clarke let out a full belly laugh, “Really?”

“Yeah,” Raven giggled, nodding her head over to the dance floor, “Looks like O won't be far behind.”

“My girl doesn't waste any time,” Clarke agreed, “But seriously,” She gestured between Raven and Anya, “Are you two a thing or just... _pounding_?”

Raven shrugged, eyes falling to Anya in question.

“A thing,” Anya stated gruffly, making Raven smile.

“Well I'm happy for you,” Clarke grinned, “But just so you know, grounders do everything backwards. Lexa married me ages ago and I'm _still_ waiting for my canoe so don't hold your breath.”

Raven raised a questioning eyebrow but Clarke was too busy pressing a kiss to Lexa's upturned lips to notice.

“I didn't get you your canoe _but_ ,” Lexa smirked, “I'm still a ten out of ten.”

Clarke giggled, shaking her head and leaning more into Lexa.

“If we ever start acting like theses two,” Raven jerked her thumb towards Clarke and Lexa, “Please just murder me, it's disgustingly sweet.”

“Shut up!” Clarke laughed, “Anya can be sweet too, you know the first time I ever referred to Anya as my friend, she punched me so hard that my arm went dead.”

“I stand by that,” Anya grumbled, making Lexa and Raven laugh but Clarke pout.

“Come on, grounder,” Raven nodded to the dance floor, offering her hand to Anya, “Let's dance.”

Anya only looked a little put out in her acceptance.

“Do you think they'll double date with us?” Clarke giggled against Lexa's ear, earning herself a chuckle and a nudge, Lexa's arms wrapping around her waist.

"I think the mere _suggestion_ would be an insult to her."

The brunette dipping in for a kiss and pulling away just in time to see Abby sinking into the spot Raven had vacated, a pink blush on her cheeks.

“Are you drunk?” Clarke laughed.

“Maybe tipsy, I love the wine. What's it called?”

“Sawajus,” Clarke nodded.

“Yes, sawajus, that's it,” Abby nodded thoughtfully, “It's very sweet.”

Clarke nodded, taking a sip of her own _sawajus_.

“Anyway, perhaps it's the wine but I just wondered,” Abby turned to Lexa, “What's your favorite thing about being with my daughter?”

Clarke's eyes widened, she was not expecting that. She panicked, shooting Lexa her absolute best _'don't say anything dirty'_ look. But Lexa looked like she was taking this question very seriously, thinking through her possible answers. And after a long time she nodded to herself.

“Waking up with her hair in my mouth.”

“What?” Clarke frowned while Abby laughed, “You don't wake up with my hair in your mouth.”

“Yes I do,” Lexa said seriously, “Every single morning, without fail.”

“Oh my God,” Clarke face panned, “You couldn't think of anything else to say?”

“I can think of plenty of thing I like about being with you, Clarke but your Mother asked me which was my _favorite_.”

“And _that's_ your favorite?” She giggled, Lexa nodding at her, “Why?”

“Because I love you,” Lexa shrugged, gazing at Clarke, “And your hair smells nice.”

“That's just lovely,” Abby swooned, “I'm surprised I even had the courage to ask, you're rather scary after all, Lexa.”

“She isn't scary,” Clarke patted Lexa's cheek, “ _Anya_ is scary, Lexa is like a big puppy.”

Abby laughed while Lexa pouted and – according to Clarke – looked even _more_ like a puppy. Lexa was saved a reply by Octavia rushing to their table.

“C!” She exclaimed excitedly, “Me and Linc are gonna go see the glowing forest, you wanna come?”

“It's late,” Clarke smiled apologetically, she didn't want to intrude on _that_ budding romance, “I think Lex and I are going to sleep soon.”

“Oh come on,” Octavia rolled her eyes, “Everyone knows you're _desperately horny_ but you'd think you'd keep it in your pants for an hour to see a freaking glowing forest with your best friend!”

Clarke's mouth fell open and she felt Lexa's mouth pressing against her shoulder to keep the giggles at bay. _Traitor._

“I am _not_ desperately horny,” She growled.

“Yes you are!” Octavia protested.

“Yes! Horny!” She heard Raven's voice floating from the dance floor, Raven's face beaming with amusement.

Shortly followed by Anya looking less amused but still raising a teasing eyebrow and mouthing 'desperately'. Making Clarke's cheeks turn pink as she face palmed.

\- - - - - - - - - -

Luckily they were able to sneak away without being scathed...or _more_ scathed. Their mouths met hotly as soon as they entered their room. Clarke pulled away with a smirk.

Lexa was in no mood to go slow. She fisted Clarke's hair in one hand, pulling her in harshly for a bruising kiss. Her tongue pushing into Clarke's mouth straight away, making Clarke groan. Her other hand went straight to work, unzipping Clarke's dress and pulling at it until it was pooled by her feet.

Lexa pulled back. Green eyes darkening as she took in Clarke's perky, bare breasts and plain, black underwear. Her hands landed on hips, pushing until Clarke fell back onto the bed and then she was on top of her, sliding one arm under her waist to pull her up until blonde hair hit pillows. Lexa sat back on her knees, between Clarke's spread thighs after tugging the black underwear off. The blonde's chest moving up and down as she breathed heavily.

“Touch yourself,” Lexa growled, eyes catching on Clarke's tongue as Clarke licked her lips.

Clarke obeyed. Both hands gripping first at her breasts before sliding one slowly down her stomach. Her fingers raking through neat, blonde hair until they landed on her wetness and Clarke's hips rolled into her hand. Blue eyes never leaving Lexa as Lexa watched the hand between the blondes legs like a hungry predator.

Clarke's fingers found her opening, gathering the moisture there before circling back up to her clit, drawing lazy circles and making herself gasp. Her other hand rubbing her palm over her hardened nipple. She writhed, rocking and arching her body into her own hands. Making Lexa practically salivate.

When she entered herself it got too much for Lexa and the brunette pounced on her, claiming her lips in a hurried, dirty kiss and pulling her hands away from her body. Replacing the hand Clarke had on her breast with her own and the hand Clarke had between her legs with her thigh.

Clarke moaned, rolling her hips up, pushing herself against the clothed muscle and gripping Lexa's shoulders. She tugged at Lexa's clothes and the brunette pulled back to rid herself of the unwanted garments, coming back moments later to press their naked bodies together. Making both of them groan.

Lexa's thigh was becoming slick where it met Clarke between the legs, making her own arousal increase tenfold. She drove her thigh harder, their hips hitting sloppily at the frantic rhythm of their grind. Clarke's fingers digging into the flesh of Lexa's ass to encourage her.

There was nothing romantic about it. This was pure, animistic, rutting. Their arousal winning out over anything else. Their pupils blown, their mouths gasping for air and neither one of them able to – or caring to – control the sounds leaving them as they frantically rolled into each other, desperate for climax.

Clarke hit hers first, like always. Her inner walls clenching around nothing and her clit dragging wetly across Lexa's skin in a particularly deep grind. Her eyes squeezed shut as she cried out, her nails biting into the small of Lexa's back. Her breath coming out in harsh, hot pants against Lexa's cheek as she shook.

The feeling of a new gush of wetness against her thigh made Lexa's movement falter. She jerked her hips once, twice and then she was pushed over the edge with Clarke. Her movements sloppy as she tried her best to ride it out for both of them. Her face pressed against Clarke's neck and her arms wrapped tightly under the blonde, holding her close.

Lexa hadn't even gotten her breath back when she felt Clarke's fingers on her, dragging deliciously through her folds and slipping into her easily. She gasped, turning her head to meet Clarke's heady gaze. Clarke's short fingers pumping, stroking into her at an excruciatingly slow pace. Lexa joining her by slipping her own hand between Clarke's legs and penetrating her roughly with two long fingers.

Clarke whimpered, spreading her legs a little more for Lexa's benefit, pushing her own fingers deeper so that the heel of her hand hit the brunette's clit with each pump. Lexa caught her lips in a kiss, the added stimulation of Lexa's tongue lazily thrusting into her mouth sending her straight into a second climax. Her thighs shaking, her teeth biting down on Lexa's tongue as she came around her brunette's fingers.

Lexa groaned in displeasure when Clarke pushed her hand away but it soon turned into a breathy moan when the blonde focused all of her attention between the brunette's legs. Twisting her fingers on every thrust and using her other hand to guide Lexa into a grinding motion by her hip.

Lexa's mouth attached itself to Clarke's neck. They didn't usually mark each other, not where people could see but right now, with Clarke's fingers inside her, she didn't care. She wanted the whole world to know who lay in her bed. She moved her hips faster, pushing herself into Clarke's hand as her mouth sucked Clarke's flesh.

“Fuck, Lex,” Clarke's breathy, sexed up voice pushed her over the edge, “Come for me.”

And Lexa did. Arching beautifully into Clarke's hand. Her abs taught, her mouth open and forming an O. Clarke watched in awe. Lexa was _beautiful._ Clarke fingers slowed, pumping lazily as she stared at Lexa. And Lexa was breathing heavily as she came down from her high, pushing Clarke's hand out from between her legs, her fingers grazing the love bite she'd left on Clarke's neck.

Clarke sighed, content but Lexa wasn't done. Lexa flipped them until Clarke was straddling her with wide eyes.

“Ride me,” Lexa groaned in explanation.

Clarke _almost_ protested but she felt the wetness between her legs at the though and nodded quickly. Her palms falling flatly against Lexa's abdomen and she took three of Lexa's fingers. Her eyes squeezing shut at the stretch. She was already fluttering.

Lexa laid still, watching Clarke ride her fingers. Watching the blondes beautiful body take her again and again. Watched her round boobs bounce with every movement. Watched the whimpers fall from Clarke's open mouth. She could watch forever but they were tired and she wanted to see the blonde come again.

Clarke stilled her bouncing, choosing instead to grind deeply. Clenching at Lexa's fingers every time they hit a new spot. When blue eyes opened and met green, Clarke fell apart. Falling forward into Lexa's chest, Lexa's arm looping around her waist for support as she shook through her climax. Practically sobbing out her cries of pleasure.

“What did you think of me the first time you saw me?” Lexa asked, her voice a whisper against Clarke's abdomen a little time later.

“I though you looked terrifying, especially in your war paint,” Clarke giggled, her fingers combing through brunette locks, “But I remember your eyes, I remember noticing the color of them...and you were kinda checking me out so...”

She felt Lexa smile against her skin, “You were in your underwear, I'm professional but I'm still _human_.”

“Oh I see, so next time you capture an unfortunate girl who doesn't have time to put clothes on, you're greedy eyes will be running all over _her_ curves I suppose,” She teased.

“No,” Lexa shook her head, tightening her arms around Clarke, “I'd never gotten... _distracted_...before you, nor will I again.”

Clarke smiled, she believed it too. Lexa was _so_ into her and she _loved_ it.

“Lex, you didn't have to make me Haiplana, did you?” Clarke mused after a thoughtful pause, “I mean when we got married.”

Lexa took a second to gather her thoughts, choosing her words carefully, “If you're asking if any spouse of mine would automatically become royalty then the answer is no.”

Clarke gulped, a heavy feeling settling over her chest, she'd had a feeling that Haiplana wasn't an automatic title but she wasn't sure. Not until now, “Then why?”

“I didn't know your people, Clarke,” Lexa explained, “What if they'd killed me the moment they landed? Then what protection would you have? At least as Haiplana, if I died then you'd still have my entire army and guard at your disposal.”

Clarke's eyebrows rose in surprise. She knew that Lexa loved her, she knew Lexa looked out for her but not to _this_ degree. Clarke nudged until Lexa turned her face and their eyes met.

“You've always loved me a lot, huh?” Clarke asked, unshed tears in her eyes and teeth sinking into her lip. Lexa blinked up at her.

“I...yes,” She nodded.

\- - - - - - - - - - -

She was at The Tavern that night. Drinking with the 'gang'. The gang consisting of Lincoln, Octavia, Anya, Bellamy and Raven. She'd gotten far too drunk, Lincoln daring her to do three consecutive shots of Faya Souda on top of being drunk already? Clarke had turned pale, bile rising only seeing Raven's wide eyes and hearing the Latina's 'no way in hell, not again' before she was being spun and ended up emptying the contents of her stomach over Anya. The look of pure shock on Anya's face would've made her laugh if her tummy hadn't of hurt.

They stayed up later than usual and Clarke ended up walking home while the sun was coming up.

She'd never gotten use to the brightness. Not in a bad way, the opposite in fact. She cherished it, she _noticed_ it and never took it for granted. The light that was brighter than anything she'd ever seen up in the stars. This was the light she _belonged_ in.

She paused when she entered their room, where Lexa was sleeping peacefully in their bed. She took a moment to take in the beautiful, young Heda. Her relaxed face the picture of innocence. Her long dark lashes spread over rosy, warm cheeks. Full lips pulled into a pout. She looked warm, she looked delicate. She looked _happy_.

Clarke tried to be quiet, crawling onto the bed but like always green eyes fluttered open and Lexa looked at her with a sleepy, loving gaze.

Clarke's smile reached her eyes, making them sparkle and spoke words that had never been so true.

“I'm home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think <3


End file.
